B!tchmoves on the golf course

[QUOTE=alangbaker]That's why I put the asterisk on my 73/+2 round at Greenacres.j

The last is a very tight "par 5" that -- according to the "b*tchmove" brigade and the inside the course out of bounds line, you have to play down the fairway, hit a wedge around the corner (unless the tees are up) and then wedge on.

But it's such a sharp dogleg that it would be possible in theory to drive the green (about 350 yards). And when the tees are up, I can play the hole in driver, 6/7 iron.

To me, that's no par 5, so I always say I shot 73 on a par 70, even though the card reads par 71.[/QUOTE]

In my mind, unless there are strange circumstances or trouble, any par 5 less than 520 isn't much of a par 5 with the drivers and golf balls of today.

[QUOTE=collegegolfer]In my mind, unless there are strange circumstances or trouble, any par 5 less than 520 isn't much of a par 5 with the drivers and golf balls of today.[/QUOTE]

I figure that if it takes me a good drive and then a good 3-wood or 3-hybrid to get home, it's a par 5.

Less club than that, I should move back a set of tees.

:)

[QUOTE=alangbaker]I figure that if it takes me a good drive and then a good 3-wood or 3-hybrid to get home, it's a par 5.

Less club than that, [B]I should move back a set of tees[/B].

:)[/QUOTE]
You should be playing from the plates to start off with. It's actually a GR by law that you alwys play from the tips. Any forward tee is for sissys.

[QUOTE=Not a hacker]You should be playing from the plates to start off with. It's actually a GR by law that you alwys play from the tips. Any forward tee is for sissys.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but my job means lots of rounds walking on as a single. In such situations -- in order to encourage others to play tees that match their ability, I'll always offer to play the whites if that's what the other members of the group want to do.

Unfortunately, that means I usually go driver, 5-iron on either the par 5 1st or 9th, depending on which is downwind on that day.

But since course rating and slope are suppose to account for differences in difficulty, I bear with it somehow.

:)

Walking off the course because of poor play is another b!tchmove I've seen a bit recently. This b!tch I sometimes play with has done that a couple times this year. You man up and finish what you started regardless. Last year I got a bee sting on my thumb on the 6th hole. It would have been easy to b!tchmove and quit after 9, but I made a couple adjustments and finished the round.
Along those lines, not paying your bets is a huge b!tchmove. I save up singles, fives and tens throughout the week in the unlikely event I lose a few bets. I hate when some punk tells you he's got no cash and he'll owe you. B!tch better have my money.

Careful HB. Making that a b!tch move would bring the GRHOF legend John Daly into some serious hot water.

[QUOTE=Mward2002]Careful HB. Making that a b!tch move would bring the GRHOF legend John Daly into some serious hot water.[/QUOTE]
Daly is on my shitt list ever since he went to clown college.

You don't like the Loudmouth Golf pants?

He at least has the balls to wear something like that. Let's compare two fat asses. Phil and JD. Phil wears stuff that just makes him look like a fatass. Daly IS a fatass but you know he'd take your money if you saw someone walk up to the first tee box wearing those pants. You have to have game to wear those.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]Walking off the course because of poor play is another b!tchmove I've seen a bit recently. This b!tch I sometimes play with has done that a couple times this year. You man up and finish what you started regardless. Last year I got a bee sting on my thumb on the 6th hole. It would have been easy to b!tchmove and quit after 9, but I made a couple adjustments and finished the round.
Along those lines, not paying your bets is a huge b!tchmove. I save up singles, fives and tens throughout the week in the unlikely event I lose a few bets. I hate when some punk tells you he's got no cash and he'll owe you. B!tch better have my money.[/QUOTE]

Maybe the biggest all-time b.itch move is claiming to have not made a bet that was made. This happened to me. I tracked down a witness who corroborated and I gave the guy a choice between paying me immediately or meeting me in the parking lot immediately.

He paid but it didn't stop me from posting a notice to the membership that this individual doesn't honor his bets.

Did he really think he could steal from me and get away with it?

[I]La triterei nei piccoli pezzi e lo seppellisce in un fossato. [/I]

[QUOTE=Horseballs]Walking off the course because of poor play is another b!tchmove I've seen a bit recently. This b!tch I sometimes play with has done that a couple times this year. You man up and finish what you started regardless. Last year I got a bee sting on my thumb on the 6th hole. It would have been easy to b!tchmove and quit after 9, but I made a couple adjustments and finished the round.[/QUOTE]

Nice one. I was playing last year and this dog was in a yard right by the tee. He kept running up and down the fence, barking at us. Not sure if it is a b!tchmove to live on a golf course and let your dog terrorize golfers, it's probably more of a DB move. Anyway, I digress. I went over to calm the dog so we could tee off in peace, sticking my hand out in the proper sniff my hand gesture. The f*cker lunged through the slats of the fence and bit me! It hurt pretty bad and I was bleeding, but I slapped a couple band-aids on and finished the round.

[QUOTE=KoolCat]Nice one. I was playing last year and this dog was in a yard right by the tee. He kept running up and down the fence, barking at us. Not sure if it is a b!tchmove to live on a golf course and let your dog terrorize golfers, it's probably more of a DB move. Anyway, I digress. I went over to calm the dog so we could tee off in peace, sticking my hand out in the proper sniff my hand gesture. The f*cker lunged through the slats of the fence and bit me! It hurt pretty bad and I was bleeding, but I slapped a couple band-aids on and finished the round.[/QUOTE]

Being scared of a dog behind a fence is a total BM. Blaming a bad shot on a dog barking is an even bigger BM.

Running and hiding when someone yells fore from a few fairways over is also a b!tchmove. As if running away is going to stop that ball from hitting you. I just turn my back and that's it. No need to act like a missile is coming at you.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]Running and hiding when someone yells fore from a few fairways over is also a b!tchmove. As if running away is going to stop that ball from hitting you. I just turn my back and that's it. No need to act like a missile is coming at you.[/QUOTE]

I saw a get drilled trying to run from an errant shot he couldn't see. Someone yelled fore...he went off running and the ball hit him in the back. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Protect the jewels, head, and the hands in that order. I always find it interesting to watch people cover there head with there hands. Good job on protected the head but if you get hit your going to break something in your hand. How can you finish your round if you screw up your hands. I'd rather get hit in the head and finish the round with a headache.

I mistakenly ducked behind my wife when some one yield fore. Is that a B!tch move?

[QUOTE=poe4soul]Protect the jewels, head, and the hands in that order. I always find it interesting to watch people cover there head with there hands. Good job on protected the head but if you get hit your going to break something in your hand. How can you finish your round if you screw up your hands. I'd rather get hit in the head and finish the round with a headache.

I mistakenly ducked behind my wife when some one yield fore. Is that a B!tch move?[/QUOTE]
No, but having your wife with you on the course is a b!tchmove. So I guess it is.

I guess it's a b!tch move than. I enjoy playing with my wife more than most other golfers.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]No, but having your wife with you on the course is a b!tchmove. So I guess it is.[/QUOTE]

Im not sure about this one. Using your wife to shield you from oncoming fire is kind of pimpish/Ike Turner.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]Walking off the course because of poor play is another b!tchmove I've seen a bit recently. This b!tch I sometimes play with has done that a couple times this year. You man up and finish what you started regardless. Last year I got a bee sting on my thumb on the 6th hole. It would have been easy to b!tchmove and quit after 9, but I made a couple adjustments and finished the round.
Along those lines, not paying your bets is a huge b!tchmove. I save up singles, fives and tens throughout the week in the unlikely event I lose a few bets. I hate when some punk tells you he's got no cash and he'll owe you. B!tch better have my money.[/QUOTE]

Buehller, you're my hero . . . . .

[QUOTE=poe4soul]I guess it's a b!tch move than. I enjoy playing with my wife more than most other golfers.[/QUOTE]


I enjoy playing with my wife, too, but what does that have to do with golf?

[img]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/eng/glasses10.gif[/img]

Super bm is a db leaving his bud light can on the f@&$ing tee box total bm

STFU, newbie... -Mr 3 Wiggle

Blow dick koolcat it was ur gayass who left the can

Eff, ewe... Did you read the newbie FAQ? Obviously not. BTW, I see that your occupation is listed as gambler. You should hang out with Mr 3 Wiggles. He's a HUGE GAMBLER. You guys would be regular pals, once you've earned it. Until then, STFU...
__________________
"I'd wager you're a huge Tera Patrick fan." -Mr 3 Wiggle

Maybe u didn't read the rules. RIDING SOMEONES NUTS IS A SUPER B!TCHMOVE . SO HERES WHAT YOU DO....
1st. REMOVE YOUR MOUTH FROM MR WIGGLES BALLS
2nd. REPEAT MANY MANY TIMES WASH OUT UR MOUTH

[QUOTE=BumpnRun]Maybe u didn't read the rules. RIDING SOMEONES NUTS IS A SUPER B!TCHMOVE . SO HERES WHAT YOU DO....
1st. REMOVE YOUR MOUTH FROM MR WIGGLES BALLS
2nd. REPEAT MANY MANY TIMES WASH OUT UR MOUTH[/QUOTE]

Listen newbie...if you're not going to follow the code of conduct, which we have generously laid out for new members, then don't post here. Your disrespectful tone to a veteran of this board will not be tolerated. Also, if you would, please refrain from posting garbage topics about what your favorite golf hole is. I think it's awesome that you want to front the fact that you played Inverness or some sh.t like that, but no one really cares.

In closing STFU newbie.

Wiggles since I'm a member @ Inverness put up some cash and come be my guest. 500 a hole. Don't be broke man up

[QUOTE=BumpnRun]Wiggles since I'm a member @ Inverness put up some cash and come be my guest. 500 a hole. Don't be broke man up[/QUOTE]

You really want to do that?

I'll even put you up in the nanny quarters. Just to let you know don't bring your favorite pair of warn out levi's you won't be let in

[QUOTE=BumpnRun]I'll even put you up in the nanny quarters. Just to let you know don't bring your favorite pair of warn out levi's you won't be let in[/QUOTE]

Not to worry, I only wear Under Armor golf shirts and pants on the course. So tell me more about this wager big shot. $500 a hole at Inverness...Automatic presses? What are the details here? I would also need some sort of official confirmation that this is really going to happen before I make the trip.

Looks like Wiggles is going to have a busy August/September.
BnR, I went to a wedding about 6 years ago at Inverness. Looked pretty sweet although it was early April. Don't tell anyone, but I stole a flag from the green closest to the clubhouse.

I won't be behind so no press. Lightning fast greens so practice. Whenever you can come with the cash I'm ready. Just to be fair since this is my home course I'll run the bet back on your home course.

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=darkslategray]If there is still interest in this topic...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- writing scores while sitting in cart at green[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- ignoring trash that blows out of cart your cart[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- tossing cigar butts into bunkers[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- not fixing two ball marks on each green[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- not playing ready golf on weekend rounds[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- spending more than a couple of minutes on a ball search[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- hitting someone else's ball cause its in the "right spot"[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- dressing like Daly[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=#2f4f4f]- anything to do with cell phones[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[QUOTE=BumpnRun]I won't be behind so no press. Lightning fast greens so practice. Whenever you can come with the cash I'm ready. Just to be fair since this is my home course I'll run the bet back on your home course.[/QUOTE]

So your proposal is that I just show up at the gates of Inverness with my clubs and some cash??? And who doesn't play with an automatic press after 2??? Have you gambled before? You're going to have to lay these terms out for me. I'll also need a specific date and time, as well as confirmation that this round is scheduled. You can PM that personal info if you like. I'm not making a trip to another state with details.

If you happen to be going off just ahead of a corporate tournament, is it a b itch move to accept free drinks from the hot cart girls that think you are part of the tournament?

[QUOTE=The Purist]If you happen to be going off just ahead of a corporate tournament, is it a b itch move to accept free drinks from the hot cart girls that think you are part of the tournament?[/QUOTE]

Nah...that's called being awesome. I played Army-Navy Country Club in Arlington, VA one time. They have a bunch of reciprocal deals with various clubs in the area...this reciprocation carries over to the snack bar and club house...they'll let you buy stuff and put it on your home course chit. I was playing for free since I worked at a local golf shop and I brought them free golf balls. At the turn I ordered 6 beers and had them charge it to my account at my "home course". Free beer!!!!

I've read scientific studies that say the only part of your body that is vulnerable to a golf ball is the temples. So mif you cover your temples and get hit you shold live. Having said that I keep the family jewels well out of the firng line too as it may not kill you to get hit theior by a golf ball, but it would make you wish you were dead for about 15 minutes or so. Walking off the course is a massive b!tch move unless you're JD in which case it's ultra cool. Putting one card in every 10 rounds to keep your handicap low is another b!tch move. I've played with a few 5 caps over the years that wouldn't beat me in a straight up match. One b!tch I remember in particular just walked off after about 12 holes after his 5 cap had blown to the extent that even birdies coming home couldn't save it. This guy had a 5 cap and I was blowing it 30 by him on every tee.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]That's not what I'm talking about. Cutting a corner is a legit move. Our 4th hole is a par 5. Our 2nd hole is a par 3, and it just so happens that the 2nd and 4th greens are about 100 yards from each other. D-bags will play through a gap in the trees off the tee box towards the 2nd green (which is nowhere near the fairway for #4) so they can hit onto the 4th green in 2. It's hard to explain, but you'll just have to take my word that it's a huge b!tchmove.[/QUOTE]


The thing about that hole is it's easily reached in 2 if you just play it straight away.

on the other hand .. soem B!tch(in) moves on the golf course are completely positive!

It's a BM for any course to not have girls that hot be the cart girls.

I'm never going to get a boner over any regular cart girls ever again.

I've been trying to tell you guys, when natural is really good, it's the best.

[QUOTE=lorenzoinoc]I've been trying to tell you guys, when natural is really good, it's the best.[/QUOTE]


Says probably the only guy on this board to ever play with fake ones.

I'm sold. :D



FON

nice picture
[URL="http://www.callawayvftirons.info/"]http://www.callawayvftirons.info/[/URL]

BMs
not warming up, hitting 2 off the first tee, mulligans, illegal drivers & balls, moving it in the fairway, playing out of turn, losing clubs, picking up, dropping where it flew ob instead of original spot, not replacing divot or ball marks, hitting a hybrid from 200 yards and in...

[QUOTE=Donald Jackson]BMs
not warming up, hitting 2 off the first tee, mulligans, illegal drivers & balls, moving it in the fairway, playing out of turn, losing clubs, picking up, dropping where it flew ob instead of original spot, not replacing divot or ball marks, hitting a hybrid from 200 yards and in...[/QUOTE]
I don't care if you play out of turn, the rest are legit.
A guy in my group will average at least 1 lost club per side. Total b!tchmove.

This thread is almost Larryesque. 145 posts and counting. 150 will be up in no time and 200 is just around the corner. You must be proud.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]I don't care if you play out of turn, the rest are legit.
A guy in my group will average at least 1 lost club per side. Total b!tchmove.[/QUOTE]
yeah i agree playing out of turn isn't one, lost club is a knucklehead bm...more bms i don't like are slow play, making additional bets pressing on my approach shot when yours went into a hazard, being late to your tee time, not knowing the rules when faced with a hazard or cartpath lie etc. Exclaiming nice birdie or nice par when I had a par and just a bogey.

complaining about weather, crowding, noise, bugs, etc = BM
even noticing what other guys wear = GBM
not knowing what ball you played = BM
needing to eat before hitting your ball = BM
wanting (and worse asking) to hit a stranger's club = GBM