My Golf Bets for the Masters

[COLOR="DarkGreen"][SIZE="4"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][B]Tiger will miss the cut. $200 to win $1,000

Mickelson to shoot a better score than Tiger. $200 to win $270

Tiger to finish out of top 10. $200 to win $400
[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

N!gger, I am not 89 years old...

Ditch the ass big font and Castro colors, please.

[QUOTE=spanqdoggie]N!gger, I am not 89 years old...

Ditch the ass big font and Castro colors, please.[/QUOTE]

That's for Dorkman and Oldplayer, Spank, they are getting old, you know . . . . .

[QUOTE=SoonerBS][COLOR="DarkGreen"][SIZE="4"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][B]Tiger will miss the cut. $200 to win $1,000

Mickelson to shoot a better score than Tiger. $200 to win $270

Tiger to finish out of top 10. $200 to win $400
[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
I think you are going to lose $600.

A normal man may have crumbled under the pressure of this scandal, but not Tiger. I have a feeling Earl must have prepared him for this years earlier when Tiger was still a teenager. It probably went something like this: "Tiger, you are going to be the best player on the planet one day, if you aren't already. But, You are a black man in white sport, and one day they will turn on you. You be ready Tiger. You take that negative energy and use it to your advantage. Light a fire with their hate and stick it to them. You can silently rub it in their noses every time you notch another Victory."

[QUOTE=SoonerBS][COLOR="DarkGreen"][SIZE="4"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][B]Tiger will miss the cut. $200 to win $1,000

Mickelson to shoot a better score than Tiger. $200 to win $270

Tiger to finish out of top 10. $200 to win $400
[/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]


The $600 you're going to lose could have gone toward new clubs.

[QUOTE=famousdavis]The $600 you're going to lose could have gone toward new clubs.[/QUOTE]
A wedge perhaps?

[QUOTE=Not a hacker]A wedge perhaps?[/QUOTE]
Yes, you could buy a lot of Lajolla Knife Wedges for that amount and improve your skills around greens:)

[QUOTE=Pky6471]Yes, you could buy a lot of Lajolla Knife Wedges for that amount and improve your skills around greens:)[/QUOTE]

After my last two rounds with the Cleveland Niblick, I have decided that wedges are highly overrated . . . . .

[QUOTE=SoonerBS]After my last two rounds with the Cleveland Niblick, I have decided that wedges are highly overrated . . . . .[/QUOTE]

Is it easier to chip with? Do you use it for pitching as well? I'm just curious. Not that I would ever buy one.

[QUOTE=famousdavis]Is it easier to chip with? Do you use it for pitching as well? I'm just curious. Not that I would ever buy one.[/QUOTE]

It is for me, FD, but I normally tried to play the "bump and run" approach with my wedges anyway. I can use it with confidence inside of 75 yards. Any further out than that and I have to start forcing some movements into the swing that should not be used (I'm 6'4" tall and this stick is the length of a putter, so full swings are difficult for me.)

keep your eye on these bunch of indians.
Tiger, obvious
Kim, just off a win, gets out of trouble and if his putter is hot, case closed.
Sergio, just outa the bar and still chasing women, but so did John Daly winning the PGA
Camilo, wants to make a name for himself and is hungry, if putting on, see him Sunday.
Stenson, this course fits his game, his fade will find the fairways.

Sooner, it looks like you are going to win big.

Just as the best poets and writers in history flame out in their mid to late 20's, Eldrick is done.

Stick a fork in Eldrick.

Eldrick done drawn the brown end of the pairings stick. Kuchar's swing is so flat that if he can't restrain himself from watching, it will get in his head. I can't even play after watching him on TV, although he hasn't been shown much throughout his career except for last fall on that 'res course. Choi is a real tough partner-- no Engresh. Last time Tiger was paired with one of those in a major, he got whooped. Make cut? Yes, at around E, +1, -1. I like Stricker, Els, Clark, Stenson down the stretch.

[QUOTE=mongrel]Eldrick done drawn the brown end of the pairings stick. Kuchar's swing is so flat that if he can't restrain himself from watching, it will get in his head. I can't even play after watching him on TV, although he hasn't been shown much throughout his career except for last fall on that 'res course. Choi is a real tough partner-- no Engresh. Last time Tiger was paired with one of those in a major, he got whooped. Make cut? Yes, at around E, +1, -1. I like Stricker, Els, Clark, Stenson down the stretch.[/QUOTE]

Your posts are consistently solid, Mongrel, but Els down the stretch? I think he is one of the biggest underachievers in golf history. With that swing, he should have more majors than Eldridgcke.

[QUOTE=thehelper][B]keep your eye on these bunch of indians.[/B]
Tiger, obvious
Kim, just off a win, gets out of trouble and if his putter is hot, case closed.
Sergio, just outa the bar and still chasing women, but so did John Daly winning the PGA
Camilo, wants to make a name for himself and is hungry, if putting on, see him Sunday.
Stenson, this course fits his game, his fade will find the fairways.[/QUOTE]
What about Vijay, or Jeev Mikha Singh, or even Notah Begay III?

P.S. Does anyone else think ol Notah would have copped some stick at school roll call by answering 'yes' after Notah Be gay was read out?

I just get this feeling that one of the three Italians might win. I can't explain it, it's just kind of a premonition.

I want to know the odds that a fat Elvis parachutes down and lands on Eldrick's caddy and goes Happy Gilmore on William's angry ass, whilst begoggled and a backpack on...

Elvis' backpack gets ripped apart in the middle of the mêlée and purple dildos are rolling all over the putting surface; Elvis passes out and has to be escorted by cops in an ambulance to the hospital.

Then we find out later, that fat Elvis is the father of one of the girls Eldrick bagged, and is very angry... either that or bossgodwin.

I would put money down on this bet.

[QUOTE=spanqdoggie]I want to know the odds that a fat Elvis parachutes down and lands on Eldrick's caddy and goes Happy Gilmore on William's angry ass, whilst begoggled and a backpack on...

Elvis' backpack gets ripped apart in the middle of the mêlée and purple dildos are rolling all over the putting surface; Elvis passes out and has to be escorted by cops in an ambulance to the hospital.

Then we find out later, that fat Elvis is the father of one of the girls Eldrick bagged, and is very angry... either that or bossgodwin.

I would put money down on this bet.[/QUOTE]

I've been meaning to tell you, nice job with BG.

[QUOTE=SoonerBS]After my last two rounds with the Cleveland Niblick, I have decided that wedges are highly overrated . . . . .[/QUOTE]
lot of expensive clubs out there ain't worth a shittttt. Lajolla Knife wedge is an EXCELLENT wedge for $8.95 on eBay when I bought 4 of them. Ball flies very high and stops on a dime and very accurate. Around greens and especially in front of a green-side bunker , ball flies over bunkers without any problem, Wedge has very low bounce, with its design I don't even know how its bounced could be determined :mad2:

[QUOTE=SoonerBS]It is for me, FD, but I normally tried to play the "bump and run" approach with my wedges anyway. I can use it with confidence inside of 75 yards. Any further out than that and I have to start forcing some movements into the swing that should not be used (I'm 6'4" tall and this stick is the length of a putter, so full swings are difficult for me.)[/QUOTE]

picked up a used one at Golfsmith yesterday...

no, I don't mean 'bought one', I mean I picked it up... addressed an imaginary ball... retched for a frightening moment, then put it back on the rack....

:-)

what sort of sheite is that?

I'll have to judge the results, of course. but... yeesh..

[QUOTE=daveperkins]picked up a used one at Golfsmith yesterday...

no, I don't mean 'bought one', I mean I picked it up... addressed an imaginary ball... retched for a frightening moment, then put it back on the rack....

:-)

what sort of sheite is that?

I'll have to judge the results, of course. but... yeesh..[/QUOTE]

Agreed. If you want to play bump 'n run your 7,8 & 9 iron can do the job. Leave the wedges in the bag by all means but don't resort to buying a POS quick fix gimmick like the Niblick.

[QUOTE=spanqdoggie]I want to know the odds that a fat Elvis parachutes down and lands on Eldrick's caddy and goes Happy Gilmore on William's angry ass, whilst begoggled and a backpack on...

Elvis' backpack gets ripped apart in the middle of the mêlée and purple dildos are rolling all over the putting surface; Elvis passes out and has to be escorted by cops in an ambulance to the hospital.

Then we find out later, that fat Elvis is the father of one of the girls Eldrick bagged, and is very angry... either that or bossgodwin.

I would put money down on this bet.[/QUOTE]

I'll lay you 2 to 1 this doesn't happen. Most of it anyway.

Sheesh, now Eldrick is using his dead father to hock Nike products in a new commercial.

Is there no level low enough for Eldrick to stoop?

I don't know what the Vegas odds were on Eldrick dragging his dead father out of the grave for some Nike money... disgraceful.

I don't know how you retards love this bastard!!!

[QUOTE=spanqdoggie]Sheesh, now Eldrick is using his dead father to hock Nike products in a new commercial.

Is there no level low enough for Eldrick to stoop?

I don't know what the Vegas odds were on Eldrick dragging his dead father out of the grave for some Nike money... disgraceful.

I don't know how you retards love this bastard!!![/QUOTE]

Eldrick is velly solly he offended you, Mr. Spank . . . . .

[QUOTE=spanqdoggie]Sheesh, now Eldrick is using his dead father to hock Nike products in a new commercial.

Is there no level low enough for Eldrick to stoop?

I don't know what the Vegas odds were on Eldrick dragging his dead father out of the grave for some Nike money... disgraceful.

I don't know how you retards love this bastard!!![/QUOTE]
I think you got it backwards. Nike is using Dead Earl to hock its wares and probably has the figurative Glock to Eldrick's head with something like "We are your last chance, sign this contract, and play to win that damn Georgia cracker tournament or TW Enterprises might want to put the best Chapter 11 shyster on a retainer." And what's with the Buddhist crap? Let's see--Earl does a couple of warfighter tours at the behest of the Republic of Vietnam which is run by a minority Roman Catholic hierarchy that rules over a 90% Buddhist population of 10th century level farmers and fisherman. The Buddhists want the USA gone and immolate themselves in protest firing up all the Buddhist burghers to help the Vee Chee and NVA kill the Yankees. So Earl's kid turns to the fat all knowing one as a **** avalanche refuge. What the hell?

[QUOTE=Not a hacker]What about Vijay, or Jeev Mikha Singh, or even Notah Begay III?

P.S. Does anyone else think ol Notah would have copped some stick at school roll call by answering 'yes' after Notah Be gay was read out?[/QUOTE]

Begay is the Navajo version of "Smith", for the benefit of our foreign readers, and those not familiar with the American Southwest...

That joke was probably worn out shortly after the word "gay" was expropriated from its original meaning "lighthearted and happy".

Notah be Happy is probably not accurate most of the time. He has a bad back.

-165 against a hole in one. Hmmm, could be one.

[QUOTE=daveperkins]Begay is the Navajo version of "Smith", for the benefit of our foreign readers, and those not familiar with the American Southwest...

That joke was probably worn out shortly after the word "gay" was expropriated from its original meaning "lighthearted and happy".

Notah be Happy is probably not accurate most of the time. He has a bad back.[/QUOTE]
I'd say the only golfer on tour who copped more crap as a kid would have been J.B Holmes, before he started going by J.B and just went by John.

[QUOTE=Not a hacker]I'd say the only golfer on tour who copped more crap as a kid would have been J.B Holmes, before he started going by J.B and just went by John.[/QUOTE]

My guess would be that at least one third of the other kids in his school ([I]assuming it was Navajo[/I]) would have had the same last name.

If he was more like Tiger or AK and just a typical california kid ([I]and I don't know anything about him[/I]) then his bad back is probably a result of repeated beatings before, after and during school.


Notah Behomo
Notah Bescrotah

[QUOTE=daveperkins]My guess would be that at least one third of the other kids in his school ([I]assuming it was Navajo[/I]) would have had the same last name.

If he was more like Tiger or AK and just a typical california kid ([I]and I don't know anything about him[/I]) [B]then his bad back is probably a result of repeated beatings before, after and during school.[/B]

Notah Behomo
Notah Bescrotah[/QUOTE]
So Begay is blaming a bad back for stinking up the course now? His back could scarcely be worse than Freddy Couples, and he still manages to get out there and compete. Bad back Notah? Strained heartilage more likely.

It looks like I underestimated Eldick. The only bet I probably conceivably have a shot at is Mickleboobs shooting a better score than him . . . . .

Well, I went 1-2 and lost $130. Tiger played better than I expected. I'm just glad Mickleson played better.

[QUOTE=SoonerBS]Well, I went 1-2 and lost $130. Tiger played better than I expected. I'm just glad Mickleson played better.[/QUOTE]

Didn't we have a bet as well?

[QUOTE=famousdavis]Didn't we have a bet as well?[/QUOTE]


I don't remember what our bet could have been. Was it, "if Phil beats Tiger, you will play Mizuno players irons?" If so, you are now off the hook from having to play those POS PING Eye 2 irons, FD . . . . .

[QUOTE=SoonerBS]I don't remember what our bet could have been. Was it, "if Phil beats Tiger, you will play Mizuno players irons?" If so, you are now off the hook from having to play those POS PING Eye 2 irons, FD . . . . .[/QUOTE]

Damn, I just had my Ping Eye 2's spine aligned, pured and blueprinted. I was just about to put on the jammie back flash with a window plate.

According to an ol caddy friend of mine, who I have known for years and years, Tiger was the most "fined" pro on tour. There are certain things that aren't let out into the open and that's stuff like "fines" on golfers or another pro calling a ruling on his fellow pro. Like the time VJ called down Tiger for his driver and also called down Mick on his length of spikes, (back when steel was allowed).

I still keep in contact with my buddy, he fills me in on "good stuff" every so often and I'll pass it on. Like, the winner, Phil. The other caddies don't like him at all. He treats them as if the are slaves. He talks down to them. Maybe he's changed, that was a couple of years ago. The big cats usually don't change their spots.

Well, Tiger was tamed. He looked like me putting, and that ain’t good. I mentioned in my previous posts, Kim might do it if his putting was hot, and it was on fire Sunday. If only Mick had faltered, Kim might have been in a playoff. I felt for Freddy, dunking it in the drink, 2 strokes and momentum gone. I believe that he would have done a lot better if his irons had been a little more accurate. But, so is golf….. Next week, the Verizon……I’ll keep ya all posted with some spectacular props…..

Signed
All Men Are Created Equal
Until They Play Golf.

[QUOTE=thehelper]According to an ol caddy friend of mine, who I have known for years and years, Tiger was the most "fined" pro on tour. There are certain things that aren't let out into the open and that's stuff like "fines" on golfers or another pro calling a ruling on his fellow pro. Like the time VJ called down Tiger for his driver and also called down Mick on his length of spikes, (back when steel was allowed).

I still keep in contact with my buddy, he fills me in on "good stuff" every so often and I'll pass it on. Like, the winner, Phil. The other caddies don't like him at all. He treats them as if the are slaves. He talks down to them. Maybe he's changed, that was a couple of years ago. The big cats usually don't change their spots.

Well, Tiger was tamed. He looked like me putting, and that ain’t good. I mentioned in my previous posts, Kim might do it if his putting was hot, and it was on fire Sunday. If only Mick had faltered, Kim might have been in a playoff. I felt for Freddy, dunking it in the drink, 2 strokes and momentum gone. I believe that he would have done a lot better if his irons had been a little more accurate. But, so is golf….. Next week, the Verizon……I’ll keep ya all posted with some spectacular props…..

Signed
All Men Are Created Equal
Until They Play Golf.[/QUOTE]
Not to sound elitist, but why should anyone treat caddies as anything more than slaves? They are paid to drag luggage around. Clearly not the brightest of the bunch, at least the ones I've rented for the day. I pay a caddy for his ability to carry my sh!t around without losing it, and to graciously accept my insults with a smile and a "yessir." Most can't even get that right.

So Phil beats his opponents caddies with a bull whip, then rapes their wives? No wonder Steve Williams called him a prick.

[QUOTE=Horseballs]Not to sound elitist, but why should anyone treat caddies as anything more than slaves? They are paid to drag luggage around. Clearly not the brightest of the bunch, at least the ones I've rented for the day. I pay a caddy for his ability to carry my sh!t around without losing it, and to graciously accept my insults with a smile and a "yessir." Most can't even get that right.[/QUOTE]

Horseballs, is this really you? Man, did you lose some money on the Master's or what?

[QUOTE=famousdavis]Horseballs, is this really you? Man, did you lose some money on the Master's or what?[/QUOTE]
The Mickelson love is downright strange, but Horseballs has always belittled caddies.

[QUOTE=thehelper]According to an ol caddy friend of mine, who I have known for years and years, Tiger was the most "fined" pro on tour. There are certain things that aren't let out into the open and that's stuff like "fines" on golfers or another pro calling a ruling on his fellow pro. Like the time VJ called down Tiger for his driver and also called down Mick on his length of spikes, (back when steel was allowed).

I still keep in contact with my buddy, he fills me in on "good stuff" every so often and I'll pass it on. Like, the winner, Phil. The other caddies don't like him at all. He treats them as if the are slaves. He talks down to them. Maybe he's changed, that was a couple of years ago. The big cats usually don't change their spots.

Well, Tiger was tamed. He looked like me putting, and that ain’t good. I mentioned in my previous posts, Kim might do it if his putting was hot, and it was on fire Sunday. If only Mick had faltered, Kim might have been in a playoff. I felt for Freddy, dunking it in the drink, 2 strokes and momentum gone. I believe that he would have done a lot better if his irons had been a little more accurate. But, so is golf….. Next week, the Verizon……I’ll keep ya all posted with some spectacular props…..

Signed
All Men Are Created Equal
Until They Play Golf.[/QUOTE]

The most "fined". Was he gettin' lost all the time or what?

[QUOTE=The Purist]The Mickelson love is downright strange, but Horseballs has always belittled caddies.[/QUOTE]
I know, weird isn't it?
Belittling caddies has always been at the forefront of GR platform.