Mode of Play: Macho Play

[No_Idea]

Here is a suggestion for Macho Play

1. Blade Irons - 0.5 macho point
2. Stiff Steel Shafts - 0.5 macho point
3. No Hybrids in bag - 1 macho point
4. Big Buckle - 0.5 macho point
5. Non Pleated Pant - 0.5 macho point
6. No Hat/Cap - 1 macho point
7. please add...

* for every 1 macho point - deduct 0.5 of total strokes

[SoonerBS]

My score is 2 . . . .

[Not a hacker]

Good to see you back No Idea, long time no see. You obviously have been away with some of your selections though. Big buckles have been unanimaously branded as flaming gay, but your other suggestions have merit. I think to be fair you also need a penalty system for those who have some macho qualities but some **** sexual tendencies. From polls on GR we can determine what sort of stuff should be penalised. I suggest a dedcution for visors, saddle shoes, iron head covers, and regular ProV1 balls wold be in order.

P.S. I got 2.5 but that was under your system, which stupidly put big belt buckles as being manly.

[SoonerBS]

Good to see you back No Idea, long time no see. You obviously have been away with some of your selections though. Big buckles have been unanimaously branded as flaming gay, but your other suggestions have merit. I think to be fair you also need a penalty system for those who have some macho qualities but some **** sexual tendencies. From polls on GR we can determine what sort of stuff should be penalised. I suggest a dedcution for visors, saddle shoes, iron head covers, and regular ProV1 balls wold be in order.

P.S. I got 2.5 but that was under your system, which stupidly put big belt buckles as being manly.

Agreed . . . . I also think this system was done by a guy who sports hair on his head. I can guarantee you that if you were partly or mostly bald, like me, you would wear a hat no matter what time of the year it is. AND, it is more manly NOT to have hair as it is a proven fact that bald men have higher testosterone readings in their body. The gonads don't lie about manliness.

[Not a hacker]

Agreed . . . . I also think this system was done by a guy who sports hair on his head. I can guarantee you that if you were partly or mostly bald, like me, you would wear a hat no matter what time of the year it is. AND, it is more manly NOT to have hair as it is a proven fact that bald men have higher testosterone readings in their body. The gonads don't lie about manliness.

Good point. Baldness has always been linked to verility. I still have a reasonable head of hair myself, but I agree that not wearing a hat is almost as gay as wearing a visor. Look at the tour pro's who now wear visors but previously wore nothing cause they didn't want their hair messed up: Mickelson, Monty, need I say more.

[pingman360]

i get all the points except for the blades category...

[edgey]

i get all the points except for the blades category...

Camp Freddy isnt surprised you big, bad, butch, bastard. He is still after that date Pingboy....

I think my score would be - 3, damn failed another test.

Edgey

[No_Idea]

Here is the updated one..

1. Blade Irons : add 0.5 macho point
2. Stiff Steel Shafts : add 0.5 macho point
3. No Hybrids in bag : add 1 macho point
4. Big Buckle : deduct 0.5 macho point
5. Non Pleated Pant : add 0.5 macho point
6. No Hat/Cap : removed
7. Visors : deduct 0.5 macho point
8. Hat like J Mraz : add 0.5 macho point
9. Iron Covers : deduct 1 macho point
10. Forged Irons with nicks and dings : add 0.5 macho point
11. please add...

* for every 1 macho point - deduct 0.5 of total strokes
** for every -1 macho point - add 0.5 to total strokes

[Horseballs]

I got a 20.
Some additions...
skycaddie = -5 points
any fairway wood higher than 5 = -5 points each
Anser/blade putter = 1 point
2 Ball/3 Ball/Doc putter = -2 points
Saddle shoes = -2 points
White belt = -2 points
Callaway clubs = -1 point/club
Ping clubs = -1 point/club (Anser putter excluded)
Tight shirt = 2 points
Live in Arkansas = -5 points

[SoonerBS]

I really think we need to help out our British/Irish/Scottish friends out here in their scoring. Golf originated in this area therefore they should score a point just for living there. Besides, we all know that they are going to flunk the other categories because they are all a bunch of puffs who drink tea instead of coffee and they eat cookies and call them biscuits and they have to drink their beer in pints instead of six packs like we do.

Plus, you have to feel sorry for a bunch of people who's claim to fame in the entertainment field is that they have the longest running TV show in history and it's all about old farts dressing up like it is 30 degrees outside and running around acting like children. Things have gone to shite on the BBC after Monty Python years ago. Sorry, edgey, must be tough . . . .

[edgey]

I really think we need to help out our British/Irish/Scottish friends out here in their scoring. Golf originated in this area therefore they should score a point just for living there. Besides, we all know that they are going to flunk the other categories because they are all a bunch of puffs who drink tea instead of coffee and they eat cookies and call them biscuits and they have to drink their beer in pints instead of six packs like we do.

Plus, you have to feel sorry for a bunch of people who's claim to fame in the entertainment field is that they have the longest running TV show in history and it's all about old farts dressing up like it is 30 degrees outside and running around acting like children. Things have gone to shite on the BBC after Monty Python years ago. Sorry, edgey, must be tough . . . .

So we are a bunch of puffs are we, Camp Freddy will not be happy. Lets deal with the rest of your racial slur

1. Tea is a sophisticated drink for people with class, breeding and culture all of which excludes ANYONE from the colonys.

2. A cookie is small text file that is sent to your computer via your web browser whenever you visit a website you moron, what the f ucks biscuits got do with it?

3. I am being lectured to by an American about beer, right! From the land of that well known head ache in a can, that piss water sold to the foolish, Budweiser. You have no idea what good beer is so i suggest you leave it, now

3. I assume this is Last of the Summer Wine, you f ucking prol. Naaahhh your right its shite

Dont get get clever just because you have managed to elect a man who can string words of more than 1 syllable together and who knows where Iraq is on a map.

Edgey

[SoonerBS]

It's so refreshing to get some real clamor going. Thank you, edgey, I knew I could count on you.

[edgey]

It's so refreshing to get some real clamor going. Thank you, edgey, I knew I could count on you.

Always a pleasure, never a chore

Edgey

[Puma with a putter]

This is a great thread. Firstly, let me say I have a couple of friends from Europe, who when they come to visit me are occassionally hit on by a gay waiter or two. Its not their fault, I mean they are straight married guys, it is just a fact that European men are less manly than most of us yankees are.

Secondly, HB you came close, but you made some mistakes.
The 2 ball putter should be negative 2, but I'd like to suggest I suffer a minus 3 for my 3 ball, after all the damned thing's the size of dinner plate.
Callaway clubs are more non-manly than Pings, so negative 2 for each Cally Iron and only negative 1 for each Ping Iron in the bag.

Also, you didn't make the penalty severe enough for the white belt. There should be no way you can wear a white belt and still get a positive manly score.

I'd like to also see some manly points deducted for plumb bobbing and anytime you toss grass in the air, a double deduction if you spend more than 3 minutes preparing to hit a ball and then snap hook the S.O.B. out of bounds.

Perhaps also points should be deducted for anyone who waits more than 2 minutes for a green to clear and then flubs one less than half the distance to that green.

By the way, under this revised system I'd score a negative six, but that depends on if the half point for forged clubs and steel shafts is a half point per club or just a half point. So, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and scored the way in which it is best for me. Of course I'm hurt badly by my SkyCaddie, my huge three-ball putter and my cally Irons. But I'm okay with that.

[The Purist]

2 Ball/3 Ball/Doc putter = -2 points

take an additional -2 points off if its the belly version

-2 for a ball retriever in the umbrella compartment
+1 for not wearing a glove on either hand
-2 for a chipper/putter

[lorenzoinoc]

I am being lectured to by an American about beer, right! From the land of that well known head ache in a can, that piss water sold to the foolish, Budweiser. You have no idea what good beer is so i suggest you leave it, now

Edgey

Overall, great post. A couple of things: first, I will never understand why Americans like their beer. Then again, they have figured out how to keep beer cold over here. How's that going in the U.K., any progress on that?

Come on, admit it Edgey, tea is a drink for Camp Freddy. If there was even one ice cube in England, noone there would drink something that looks like penis bilge the day after one's heavily polluted themselves.

[Mward2002]

+2 points for a 2 iron
+5 points for a 1 iron
-3 points for a draw anything

[Kiwi Player]

A couple of things: first, I will never understand why Americans like their beer. Then again, they have figured out how to keep beer cold over here. How's that going in the U.K., any progress on that?

C'mon Lorenzo how long have you spent in the UK?

They serve the REAL ALE at room/cellar temperature because, it is argued, that is the temperature at which you can taste the flavour the best. A bit like red wine. You wouldn't serve that chilled now would you?

The gnats p iss lager's like Budweiser, Corona, Heineken etc is still served chilled as is that great Irish stout Guiness.

The British are passionate about their beer. The arguement about real ale vs lager is as lively over there as blades vs cavity backs is on this forum.

[lorenzoinoc]

C'mon Lorenzo how long have you spent in the UK?

They serve the REAL ALE at room/cellar temperature because, it is argued, that is the temperature at which you can taste the flavour the best. A bit like red wine. You wouldn't serve that chilled now would you?

The gnats p iss lager's like Budweiser, Corona, Heineken etc is still served chilled as is that great Irish stout Guiness.

The British are passionate about their beer. The arguement about real ale vs lager is as lively over there as blades vs cavity backs is on this forum.

On those occasions when I have been there, it hasn't been for very long because there's nothing to eat so after a while I start getting really hungry. The Brits debating how something should taste would be a bit like NN moderating a debate over who killed Marilyn Monroe.

And yes, you do serve the red wine chilled. 58 degrees. Never serve that stuff at room temperature.

Kiwi, when we have questions on how to cook the lamb, you can weigh in.

[Horseballs]

Kiwi, when we have questions on how to cook the lamb, you can weigh in.

Cooking, f*cking lamb, whatever.

Stephanie Sparks in a lamb costume would be hot though.

[SoonerBS]

I don't drink Budweiser, Coors, or any of those other types of American beers. The only domestic beer I drink is Samuel Adams. The only reason I posted what I did above about "six pack" beer which I despise, was to get edgey riled up. Whenever I'm not drinking Samuel Adams (and I like all the varieties) I am usually drinking Canadian beers: Labatt Blue and Moosehead. I also enjoy a good Paulaner Premium Lager as well. I prefer to have draft beer, but if that is not available I am drinking my beer from a bottle not a can.

Now that I have clarified that bit of nonsense, ANY kind of wine always needs to be chilled.

[The Purist]

Cooking, f*cking lamb, whatever.

Stephanie Sparks in a lamb costume would be hot though.

While we are on the subject of cooking, whats with all the jacked up grills in the UK? Its cool if the British don't want to refrigerate their beer, but what do they have against dental programs?

[edgey]

Overall, great post. A couple of things: first, I will never understand why Americans like their beer. Then again, they have figured out how to keep beer cold over here. How's that going in the U.K., any progress on that?

Come on, admit it Edgey, tea is a drink for Camp Freddy. If there was even one ice cube in England, noone there would drink something that looks like penis bilge the day after one's heavily polluted themselves.

Loz

This post does you no favours mate. All it does is reinforce the fact you have become infected with American values and beliefs.

Real Mans Beer = Room Temp

Childrens Piss Water = Whatever

I can tell you even Camp Freddy drinks mans beer (and tea, obviously)

Edgey

[Puma with a putter]

"On those occasions when I have been there, it hasn't been for very long because there's nothing to eat so after a while I start getting really hungry. The Brits debating how something should taste would be a bit like NN moderating a debate over who killed Marilyn Monroe."

My sides are hurting after reading this.
Lorenzoinoc, you probably ate plenty of food while you were over there. You just didn't realize it because it didn't have any taste. Come on, Brits. It's called flavor, surely you've heard of it. England may be the only country in the world from which the Spice Girls could have come, yet everyone there is walking around asking "Hey, what is this spice thing? I've never heard of it." Had they called themselves "The Bland Girls" then everyone there would have understood their name.

[Kiwi Player]

Kiwi, when we have questions on how to cook the lamb, you can weigh in.

On that basis please restrict your comments to pizza & pasta.

[edgey]

"On those occasions when I have been there, it hasn't been for very long because there's nothing to eat so after a while I start getting really hungry. The Brits debating how something should taste would be a bit like NN moderating a debate over who killed Marilyn Monroe."

My sides are hurting after reading this.
Lorenzoinoc, you probably ate plenty of food while you were over there. You just didn't realize it because it didn't have any taste. Come on, Brits. It's called flavor, surely you've heard of it. England may be the only country in the world from which the Spice Girls could have come, yet everyone there is walking around asking "Hey, what is this spice thing? I've never heard of it." Had they called themselves "The Bland Girls" then everyone there would have understood their name.

Puma, old pal.

It appears that it is not only your boastful claims about your frankly, tiny putter that are unfounded

England is THE home of some of the finest Indian/Bangladeshi restaurants in the world. If you want spicy i will take you to one of our local curry houses and we can have a nice Chicken Phall, if your man enough!

You f ucking Americans you think you know it all!! (thanks to Monty Python for that one)

Edgey

[SoonerBS]

Puma, old pal.

It appears that it is not only your boastful claims about your frankly, tiny putter that are unfounded

England is THE home of some of the finest Indian/Bangladeshi restaurants in the world. If you want spicy i will take you to one of our local curry houses and we can have a nice Chicken Phall, if your man enough!

You f ucking Americans you think you know it all!! (thanks to Monty Python for that one)

Edgey

The words "finest" and "Indian/Bangladesh restaurants" should never be found in the same sentence together.

Monty Python and the Beatles are England's only two reasons we Americans even bother to acknowledge that the so called "Motherland" exists.

[edgey]

The words "finest" and "Indian/Bangladesh restaurants" should never be found in the same sentence together.

Monty Python and the Beatles are England's only two reasons we Americans even bother to acknowledge that the so called "Motherland" exists.

.....................and the language you speak, ENGLISH i believe. Oklahoma, home of the Sooners and the thickest twats ever to grace Gods green earth.

No Offence

Edgey

[SoonerBS]

.....................and the language you speak, ENGLISH i believe. Oklahoma, home of the Sooners and the thickest twats ever to grace Gods green earth.

No Offence

Edgey

No offense taken. I tend to prefer a thick twat myself. After all, I never claimed to be huge enough to like loose twats.

[Cargo Putter]

No offense taken. I tend to prefer a thick twat myself. After all, I never claimed to be huge enough to like loose twats.

You would absolutely hate your mom's poontang.

[Puma with a putter]

"Monty Python and the Beatles are England's only two reasons we Americans even bother to acknowledge that the so called "Motherland" exists."

Oh now, Sooner. I don't think you are being fair. Don't forget they also gave us "The Who".

Edgey, you too. You know when you are busting out "Indian/Bangladesh restaurants" as proof that people in England have a clue how to cook... Well, at that point you might as well admit defeat.

[jt1135]

What about saki?

[SoonerBS]

What about saki?

No thanki . . .

[lorenzoinoc]

On that basis please restrict your comments to pizza & pasta.

OK. You can tell someone's never been to Italy or knows much about food, if they think Italian food is pizza and pasta. How's that?

[FreakOfNature]

OK. You can tell someone's never been to Italy or knows much about food, if they think Italian food is pizza and pasta. How's that?

I bet it has mushrooms on it.



FON

[Not a hacker]

But you are from the US Lorenzo, and as Australia follows the US obediently on all things cultural and gastronomic (we didn't get the title of second fattest nation in the world behind the US for nothing), I'd bet that most Italian restaurants over there serve pizza and pasta.

[lorenzoinoc]

But you are from the US Lorenzo, and as Australia follows the US obediently on all things cultural and gastronomic (we didn't get the title of second fattest nation in the world behind the US for nothing), I'd bet that most Italian restaurants over there serve pizza and pasta.

I love most things about the U.S. and have no problem thinking of myself as an American. But when it comes to food, my hands start moving when I talk, my accent comes back and I look forward to my anext atrip ato Roma.

[Not a hacker]

I love most things about the U.S. and have no problem thinking of myself as an American. But when it comes to food, my hands start moving when I talk, my accent comes back and I look forward to my anext atrip ato Roma.

Americans have a way of fukking perfectly good cuisine. For some reason Americans think mexican food is suppposed to be drowned in cheese. I'm sure real Mexicans wouldn't be caught dead eating at Taco Bells. When I was yunger I used to know a Mexican Restaurant owned by a couple from Nicaragua. The food was delicious and totally different to the usual Tex Mex crap all the chain restaurants slop up.

[lorenzoinoc]

San Diego has some good, authentic Mex restaurants that are often sisters to ones across the border. There's better stuff than burritos and tacos.

[poe4soul]

Only on GR can a Aussie criticize Americans about Mexican food. WTF do you know about mexican food? You refer to Nicaragua owned Mexican Restaurant. Hmm, Let's see, the USA is next to Mexico and Nicaragua is what 2 countries away from Mexico? BTW - I frequent a Nicaraguan Restaurant here in Portland and the food is good but definitely not Mexican.

I agree with you that once you get a 1000 or so miles away from Mexico it gets harder and harder to find good Mexican food in the USA but tell me NAH how many thousands of miles are you from Mexico?

I grew up in New Mexico a state in USA (just in case your confused). I'm sure we knew something about Mexican food and I'm sure Taco Bell existed there before I was a child and it is and was frequented by, I don't know, Mexicans?

There is one bright spot in your email mail though. Tex Mex food is total crap. That's not to take anything away from authentic, home grown, Mexican food served in Texas. But the Tex Mex food cooked by the gringos their sucks. But I'm probably biased because I think most things from TX suck.

[Kiwi Player]

OK. You can tell someone's never been to Italy or knows much about food, if they think Italian food is pizza and pasta. How's that?

You can also tell when a stupid generalization (that Italian food is pizza and pasta) is made in response to another stupid generalization (that NZ'ers only eat lamb).

[dorkman53]

You can also tell when a stupid generalization (that Italian food is pizza and pasta) is made in response to another stupid generalization (that NZ'ers only eat lamb).

....or that polar bears eat only penguins.....I HATE that stereotype.....just because they are in such close geographic proximity,,,,,,

[Puma with a putter]

"OK. You can tell someone's never been to Italy or knows much about food, if they think Italian food is pizza and pasta. How's that?"

That's like saying all people from Iowa eat nothing but pork products and corn... Wait a minute, that is all we eat...

[lorenzoinoc]

You can also tell when a stupid generalization (that Italian food is pizza and pasta) is made in response to another stupid generalization (that NZ'ers only eat lamb).

You're right, Kiwi, New Zealand is a food hub. BTW, this poem was written by a fellow Kiwi.

An Ode to Marmite
The Joy of Marmite

I spread my Marmite sparingly, upon my buttered toast
Of all the things to put on bread, it's what I like the most.

Its flavour always feels warm, although it isn't hot
--Caustic like a chili sauce, it certainly is not

Approved by vegetarians, and good for your nutrition
Of what my Mum called savoury, the very definition.

Though made from lowly byproducts--leftover brewing ooze
It is so reminiscent of the finest of French stews

Such grand associations were surely what was meant
When so named by clever brewers from Burton on the Trent

Precisely what exquisite yeast do Marmite makers use
To lend such gourmet qualities to brewing residues?


-- A.R.D. Pepper, March 1993

[Kiwi Player]

You're right, Kiwi, New Zealand is a food hub. BTW, this poem was written by a fellow Kiwi.

An Ode to Marmite
The Joy of Marmite

I spread my Marmite sparingly, upon my buttered toast
Of all the things to put on bread, it's what I like the most.

Its flavour always feels warm, although it isn't hot
--Caustic like a chili sauce, it certainly is not

Approved by vegetarians, and good for your nutrition
Of what my Mum called savoury, the very definition.

Though made from lowly byproducts--leftover brewing ooze
It is so reminiscent of the finest of French stews

Such grand associations were surely what was meant
When so named by clever brewers from Burton on the Trent

Precisely what exquisite yeast do Marmite makers use
To lend such gourmet qualities to brewing residues?


-- A.R.D. Pepper, March 1993

LOL - that's very clever.

But we Kiwi's and Aussies have falsely taken credit for marmite for far too long. It is a proud British invention (I think?).

[lorenzoinoc]

It may look as though I made that poem up, but it really is from one of your brethren. Hopefully I'll be in your neck of the woods this summer and can make it up to you by paying the tab and letting you order the food.

If you're like the guys I'm hoping will join us, you'll probably end up drinking me under the table.

[edgey]

Irony is an American lecturing anyone from the civilised world about the geographical location of another country. PML

Edgey

[Kiwi Player]

It may look as though I made that poem up, but it really is from one of your brethren. Hopefully I'll be in your neck of the woods this summer and can make it up to you by paying the tab and letting you order the food.

If you're like the guys I'm hoping will join us, you'll probably end up drinking me under the table.

On the contrary you can educate me about 'real' Italian food. I'll look forward to it.

[dorkman53]

Irony is an American lecturing anyone from the civilised world about the geographical location of another country. PML

Edgey

You're right. I'll bet 8 out of 10 Americans couldn't find Kuzmahkastan on the map.

http://www.Kuzkahkastantourism.com

Note; the above link will only work if you are running Windows 12.1 or higher.

[lorenzoinoc]

Irony is an American lecturing anyone from the civilised world about the geographical location of another country. PML

Edgey

Hey, Edgey, are you thinking about resigning because of how you're being treated relative to your geography beliefs?

[Not a hacker]

Poe, Here in OZ restauranters think tex mex IS mexican. As we follow everything else you do over there, it was a logical assumption that it was you guys who fukt up a fine cuisine and called it mexican. It sounds like you have some authentic mexican restaurants where you are from, but over here we only have gringos cooking tex mex. As you said, Mexico is a little too far away from Australia for us to have them coming here abd setting up traditional restaurants. The Pacific Ocean is a little harder to traverse than the Rio Grande.

[dorkman53]

As you said, Mexico is a little too far away from Australia for us to have them coming here abd setting up traditional restaurants. The Pacific Ocean is a little harder to traverse than the Rio Grande.

It might be possible to arrange a trans-oceanic bridge from Mexico to Australia. I believe the U.S. government would come out financially ahead by construction of the bridge, which would divert people who would otherwise cross over illegally into the southwest US over to the land down under. Uncle Sam could even provide free bus transportation from Mexico to Australia on the bridge, just to show that we're good folks and have their best interests at heart.....

[poe4soul]

LOL - You can walk across the Rio most of the year. Where I live now has some real crappy mexican restaurants. If a local Portlander tells me about a good mexican restaurant I mentally cross it off my list. There are a few mexican restaurants in the area that are good but it seems like I have to stumble on them.

[SoonerBS]

Shite! What do ya'll have against Tex Mex? Authentic Mexican food is bland and usually consist of whatever meat can be found amongst the household pets. Tex Mex is made from beef and chicken and is full of enough spices to put some zing in your wang.

[Not a hacker]

Shite! What do ya'll have against Tex Mex? Authentic Mexican food is bland and usually consist of whatever meat can be found amongst the household pets. Tex Mex is made from beef and chicken and is full of enough spices to put some zing in your wang.

You forgot the mountains of cheap processed cheese that seems to drown every other ingredient. And forgive my cynicism, but the few times in the past I've been to a mexican 'restaurants', I couldn't help but notice the pimply faced 15 year old 'chefs' working in kitchens that seemed to contain only micro wave ovens.

[No_Idea]

I am adding one more condition in Macho Point System:

Open / Neutral club face : add 0.5 macho point for each wood (including driver)