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  1. #1
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    Ways to intimidate an opponent

    If he misses a short putt and loses the hole say "I really thought you'd make that one".

    If he hits into a hazard full of weeds and wheat grass say "I'd help but these socks are new".

    If he hits a duck hook yell "Fade!!".

    On the first tee say "I've heard you're a good little player".

    If he's down by 2 or 3 holes on the next tee look up to the sky and say "Isn't this a great day for golf"

    Go to the another course's range and practice. Then, 5 minutes prior to your tee time, roll out of your car and say "Man, I just got back from an all night poker game".

    Look into his bag, shake your head and say "man, I tried that driver and it was a hook machine"

    Stay tuned for more. Isn't this great?

  2. #2
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    I don't care; this is the internet, so we expect typos, misspellings, etc...

    But you are really bothering me with your lack of education with the quotation marks. It is not once by accident, but ignorance. If you are still in middle school/high school I understand, but give us a freaking break already!

    It is not: "I really thought you'd make that one". <-- No! the period goes INSIDE the quotation mark.

    Like this: "I really thought you'd make that one." <-- Yes!

    I don't care about normal typing/typos, but your lack of education really pisses me off.

    P.S. To those reading: If you are not in America, then forget what I am writing; there are different protocols in different parts of the world, but in the U.S., the period ALWAYS goes inside the quotation, when educated.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by spanqdoggie
    I don't care; this is the internet, so we expect typos, misspellings, etc...

    But you are really bothering me with your lack of education with the quotation marks. It is not once by accident, but ignorance. If you are still in middle school/high school I understand, but give us a freaking break already!

    It is not: "I really thought you'd make that one". <-- No! the period goes INSIDE the quotation mark.

    Like this: "I really thought you'd make that one." <-- Yes!

    I don't care about normal typing/typos, but your lack of education really pisses me off.

    P.S. To those reading: If you are not in America, then forget what I am writing; there are different protocols in different parts of the world, but in the U.S., the period ALWAYS goes inside the quotation, when educated.
    We're feeling kind of anal today, aren't we, Spanky? By the way, dorkman is the only tolerated grammar nazi on this site, so phuck off . . . .
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by spanqdoggie
    I don't care; this is the internet, so we expect typos, misspellings, etc...

    But you are really bothering me with your lack of education with the quotation marks. It is not once by accident, but ignorance. If you are still in middle school/high school I understand, but give us a freaking break already!

    It is not: "I really thought you'd make that one". <-- No! the period goes INSIDE the quotation mark.

    Like this: "I really thought you'd make that one." <-- Yes!

    I don't care about normal typing/typos, but your lack of education really pisses me off.

    P.S. To those reading: If you are not in America, then forget what I am writing; there are different protocols in different parts of the world, but in the U.S., the period ALWAYS goes inside the quotation, when educated.
    Dam Spank! take a f.uckin chill pill brutha! Looks like tension has risen in the last couple of days around here.........
    team obnoxious
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    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  5. #5
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    Wow! Kinda brutal aren't we???

    Geez, the Bible is littered with gramattical errors...I can see Spank back then calling them out...

    "Hey! Mark, Luke, Matthew, John......WTF?"

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by noshuz
    Dam Spank! take a f.uckin chill pill brutha! Looks like tension has risen in the last couple of days around here.........
    When he gets manic, he is posting 20 times a day with rambling, sometimes incoherent nonsense (see the non-golf forum thread about the moon landing...). When he gets depressed, we don't hear from him for months.
    Seldom right, never in doubt......

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    If he misses a short putt and loses the hole say "I really thought you'd make that one".

    If he hits into a hazard full of weeds and wheat grass say "I'd help but these socks are new".

    If he hits a duck hook yell "Fade!!".

    On the first tee say "I've heard you're a good little player".

    If he's down by 2 or 3 holes on the next tee look up to the sky and say "Isn't this a great day for golf"

    Go to the another course's range and practice. Then, 5 minutes prior to your tee time, roll out of your car and say "Man, I just got back from an all night poker game".

    Look into his bag, shake your head and say "man, I tried that driver and it was a hook machine"

    Stay tuned for more. Isn't this great?
    There was a very funny thread about this a few months ago. Does it need to be reserected?
    team obnoxious
    ===============================================
    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    If he misses a short putt and loses the hole say "I really thought you'd make that one".

    If he hits into a hazard full of weeds and wheat grass say "I'd help but these socks are new".

    If he hits a duck hook yell "Fade!!".

    On the first tee say "I've heard you're a good little player".

    If he's down by 2 or 3 holes on the next tee look up to the sky and say "Isn't this a great day for golf"

    Go to the another course's range and practice. Then, 5 minutes prior to your tee time, roll out of your car and say "Man, I just got back from an all night poker game".

    Look into his bag, shake your head and say "man, I tried that driver and it was a hook machine"

    Stay tuned for more. Isn't this great?
    A Stone Cold Stare would nip all these in the bud
    EveryThing You Need To Know About The Game.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by spanqdoggie
    I don't care; this is the internet, so we expect typos, misspellings, etc...

    But you are really bothering me with your lack of education with the quotation marks. It is not once by accident, but ignorance. If you are still in middle school/high school I understand, but give us a freaking break already!

    It is not: "I really thought you'd make that one". <-- No! the period goes INSIDE the quotation mark.

    Like this: "I really thought you'd make that one." <-- Yes!

    I don't care about normal typing/typos, but your lack of education really pisses me off.

    P.S. To those reading: If you are not in America, then forget what I am writing; there are different protocols in different parts of the world, but in the U.S., the period ALWAYS goes inside the quotation, when educated.
    Sounds to me like you're ON your period snapperhead.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by dorkman53
    When he gets manic, he is posting 20 times a day with rambling, sometimes incoherent nonsense (see the non-golf forum thread about the moon landing...). When he gets depressed, we don't hear from him for months.
    You are so retarded. If anyone reads the moon landing thread, they can see that only you are posting incoherent nonsense in the thread; you were not capable of giving one iota of information supporting your position.

    The fact is, anyone can see that when viewing the thread; even you must admit you came out of that looking like an idiot.

    I had my second lesson today, and started golfing again, thus the increase in posts.

    Not posting for months is called work, honky. Below is a photo of how I honestly believe you looked... in 10th grade.
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  11. #11
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    Or show your opponent how much bigger your co ck is than his before you tee it up...

  12. #12
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    I think I put this in that thread from a few months ago, but I'm always willing to repeat stupid sheite, so...

    I used to play with a bunch of retired military/diplo guys when I was in Brussels (NATO don't ya know)... one of 'em was a Statie, a former ambassador to east sheiteland or somesuch, and when I'd miss a short putt or hit a hook off the course he'd say really loudly and earnestly, "Dave, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

    best intimidation I ever heard. For the rest of the round I'd think myself into a blob of quivering jelly.
    Cleveland long clubs
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  13. #13
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    Some things can be spoken loud and clear without the use of words.....
    Name:  crotch kik.jpg
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    If this doesn't intimidate, I don't know what will....
    team obnoxious
    ===============================================
    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  14. #14
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    A few years ago I went as a "walk On" at a nice course in So California....and I was playing with two guys who I could best describe as "weekend hackers". Complete with Ozzy Ozbourne and Metallica tee-shirts and a chest full of beer.

    Over all, nice guys who were having fun and talking trash to each other and me. As the beer flowed down their throats, the more reckless they got and dropping the "F-bomb" more often....but they were playing a decent round so far.

    As we made the turn, they grabbed another 12 pack for themselves and asked me if I wanted to play the last nine for $$$. I said "Sure" why not?

    Now we were talking more to eachother and as we were awaiting our turn to tee off on #11, one guy asked me what I did for a living....I lied and said: "I'm a pastor at local parish".

    You coulda heard a pin drop!

    They played the remaining 8 holes controlling their language and temper...AND their drinking!

    Both of their games fell apart....when it was over I fessed up and told them to keep their $$$.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    I think I put this in that thread from a few months ago, but I'm always willing to repeat stupid sheite, so...

    I used to play with a bunch of retired military/diplo guys when I was in Brussels (NATO don't ya know)... one of 'em was a Statie, a former ambassador to east sheiteland or somesuch, and when I'd miss a short putt or hit a hook off the course he'd say really loudly and earnestly, "Dave, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

    best intimidation I ever heard. For the rest of the round I'd think myself into a blob of quivering jelly.
    Dave! My GR Brutha! You can't let that happen! Any veteran of the GR has got to stick up for themselves! You have to take your GR shite talking prowess you have learned here and give him a verbal kick in the nuts! If there's anything any of us can take with them from being a regular here is shite talking. I'm not as good as alot of the pros here but my shitetalking skills have gotten alot better in the last few months. I find myself even welcoming confrontation now.....See? You guys are gonna get my a.ss kicked!
    team obnoxious
    ===============================================
    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by indacup
    A few years ago I went as a "walk On" at a nice course in So California....and I was playing with two guys who I could best describe as "weekend hackers". Complete with Ozzy Ozbourne and Metallica tee-shirts and a chest full of beer.

    Over all, nice guys who were having fun and talking trash to each other and me. As the beer flowed down their throats, the more reckless they got and dropping the "F-bomb" more often....but they were playing a decent round so far.

    As we made the turn, they grabbed another 12 pack for themselves and asked me if I wanted to play the last nine for $$$. I said "Sure" why not?

    Now we were talking more to eachother and as we were awaiting our turn to tee off on #11, one guy asked me what I did for a living....I lied and said: "I'm a pastor at local parish".

    You coulda heard a pin drop!

    They played the remaining 8 holes controlling their language and temper...AND their drinking!

    Both of their games fell apart....when it was over I fessed up and told them to keep their $$$.
    Priceless!!
    team obnoxious
    ===============================================
    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by noshuz
    Dave! My GR Brutha! You can't let that happen! Any veteran of the GR has got to stick up for themselves! You have to take your GR shite talking prowess you have learned here and give him a verbal kick in the nuts! If there's anything any of us can take with them from being a regular here is shite talking. I'm not as good as alot of the pros here but my shitetalking skills have gotten alot better in the last few months. I find myself even welcoming confrontation now.....See? You guys are gonna get my a.ss kicked!
    great pep talk, NS... :-) You are one of the finest, sans doute..

    two things, tho.. one, I knew him before I joined GR... two, he's dead now.

    other than that, I'd be right there takin' yer advice, amigo.. :-)

    a LOT of my old golf buddies are dead now. Three out of the six or seven I played with regularly five years ago... a car accident, a heart attack, and prostate cancer.

    I gotta play more golf, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
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  18. #18
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    I've always found that punting a drive on the first hole out there about 320 does the trick. That and chipping it in a couple of times and dropping 40 footers normally works too. Don't know why you bother with all the chat.

  19. #19
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    This thread is pathetic

    Nobody has mentioned the obvious. Wear a tight shirt, lean in close whilst waiting on the tee box, take 3 wood off the tee, concede putts by swatting the ball away from the hole and sneering "That's good!"
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Nobody has mentioned the obvious. Wear a tight shirt, lean in close whilst waiting on the tee box, take 3 wood off the tee, concede putts by swatting the ball away from the hole and sneering "That's good!"
    There's been a couple of threads about this that are really funny. Somebody find them please!
    team obnoxious
    ===============================================
    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    great pep talk, NS... :-) You are one of the finest, sans doute..

    two things, tho.. one, I knew him before I joined GR... two, he's dead now.

    other than that, I'd be right there takin' yer advice, amigo.. :-)

    a LOT of my old golf buddies are dead now. Three out of the six or seven I played with regularly five years ago... a car accident, a heart attack, and prostate cancer.

    I gotta play more golf, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
    Ah crap! That sucks. I've been playing every week for the last 3 years with the same 2 guys that I've known since I was 11 or 12. I'm 48 now and the youngest of the group. Also the healthiest. I've been thinking lately of the having to someday deal with that. Especially after losing my brother to Prostate Cancer in 08. It's one of the harsh realities of getting older. Life long friendships are priceless....
    team obnoxious
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    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by noshuz
    There's been a couple of threads about this that are really funny. Somebody find them please!
    You are refering to BethPageCaddy's "matchplay stratagies" thread.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldplayer
    You are refering to BethPageCaddy's "matchplay stratagies" thread.
    That would be it! Funneee shite!!
    team obnoxious
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    WITB: Hybrids. The ones that took FamousDavis down......

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Nobody has mentioned the obvious. Wear a tight shirt, lean in close whilst waiting on the tee box, take 3 wood off the tee, concede putts by swatting the ball away from the hole and sneering "That's good!"
    Another thing that nobody has mentioned is that 'any intimidation is good intimidation'.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Nobody has mentioned the obvious. Wear a tight shirt, lean in close whilst waiting on the tee box, take 3 wood off the tee, concede putts by swatting the ball away from the hole and sneering "That's good!"
    I came close to posting this sentiment last night, but I figured I'd leave it to one of the wily veterans who were around for the vintage BPC thread. I had determined that if the thread got to more than 20 posts without a mention of the GR matchplay strategy standards, I would intervene. Kiwi saves the day. Let's not forget how a nice close shave can intimidate opponents.
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