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  1. #1
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    On turning 40...

    Well, I am hitting that point (41 years old) where I have to face some serious realities... losing natural abilities of my youth...

    I now have fear of heights and don't like roller coasters much anymore; broken more bones than I can remember... No, I am in okay shape and stuff, but I was amazing with my athleticism, and it is not as good as it was; this saddens me.

    My wife and I treated my dad and my dad's 3rd wife to dinner and an Ironman 2 IMAX movie here (sf) a few weeks ago, and at dinner my dad told us how he had "cried for a year" when he turned 42...

    I wonder if my father had looked into my eyes and saw what I might have been feeling.

    ...Goodness, I have a dad that pitched 3 no hitters in a row, unheard of in high school (front page of SF Chron at the time), was a national handball champion, never worked for anyone (business owner) and he cried for a year?

    I knew/remembered when he cried and he was my age (one year older).

    My dad turned 42, cried, and moved on, and now he has 10 times more energy than I have at the age of 66; my grandfather had more energy than my dad...

    So, I don't know.

    Turning 30 was a lot harder, but 40 is something I am coming to accept... I haven't cried in 10 years, and I am crying now as I type... Well, I was crying first, then came here to write it up as personal therapy...

    I have a happy marriage, no debts, a little money in the bank, fun work...

    I will bounce back; just a little depressed right now that I can't carry 50 pieces of sheetrock up 2 flights of stairs by myself anymore... shoulder problems, etc.

    I do understand that the ages of 40-60 are the best ages for a man to live, but I have to let go of my youth, and a part of me is dying when I do that; another part of me is being born; my next life in this world from 40 to 90...

    It is not easy for me. Easier for others, I gather...

    Maybe I will just go out there and break 90 on the golf course; that day will come.

    spank
    Last edited by spanqdoggie; 06-02-2010 at 01:05 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Spank - cheer up! The advantage of your(our) age is you now have the experience and knowledge to know what is right,wrong and with whom you wish to share this with. Life just gets less physical and more intellectual as you get older and judging most of your posts on GR - u r doin all right!!!!

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  3. #3
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    I can identify with your feelings Spank. I have always been fit and physically capable, and it is a big adjustment to slowely loose that. I wish i was forty again; It would feel so young knowing what i know now. I had a two year sort of midlife crises starting around fifty. I really noticed young people more and how energetic they were. i started talking about myself in terms of how old i was getting. I had to come to terms with the fact i couldn't sprint anymore and so the list goes on. Eventually i realised that it is all relative and it is natural and normal to have to make the MENTAL as well as physical adjustments as i aged. I have learned to become positive and to make the best of what strength and agility I have left. I still work in a pysically demanding job, but not full time anymore. I only work about 30 hrs a week and spend plenty of time on the golf course. Life is too short......
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  4. #4
    You mean to tell me I won't be suprememly naturally gifted forever?

  5. #5
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    Spank, I will be 45 later this month. Right now, I can bench press way more than I did when I was 25. I can ride a bike/run longer than I ever have, and I play better golf now than I did 10 years ago. I also have a bit of the Peter Pan syndrome, I never want to get older, so I don't look forward to my birthdays at all. But keeping yourself in shape paired with wisdom and experience can make for a really wonderful life.

  6. #6
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    Spank, I've played the best golf of my life AFTER age 50. Life doesn't go down the toilet at some magic number. It goes down the toilet if you THINK it does; it's as much mental as physical.
    And stick with the wife, like I have. I've known a few people who faced the midlife crisis with a red sports car and a divorce looking for a younger girl with fewer wrinkles, but it didn't bring happiness.
    Hang in there. My mother's philosophy really works; "Every stage of life is the best stage."
    Seldom right, never in doubt......

  7. #7
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    I am now depressed . . . . . . thanks, Spank . . . . . .
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

  8. #8
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    Hey! How's everybody doin'? Long time!

    Don't you worry Spank. I'm kinda going through the same thing. I'm going to be 49 this year and getting back into "fightin' shape" for windsurfing has been one of the most challenging things I've done in a long time. It's also been one of the most rewarding things as well. Although I have to accept some of the slight shortcomings getting older brings, I certainly appreciate the things I can do well, just not as long. I think what we loose in ability we gain in patience and appreciation......whoa, heavy!......
    team obnoxious
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  9. #9
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    Spank... wait until you are 60 like me ... but there ia a bright side,,, everyday is one day closer to retirement and I can play more golf, maybe I can CONSISTENTLY play in the 80s then.... hahaha

  10. #10
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    OK. Well, I turned 63 this past March and my freaking knees hurt, the arthritis in my ankles and feet sometimes requires OTC pain-killers, and my eyesight is deteriorating slowly but steadily. However: I can still hit a drive farther now than I could when I was 30 (thank you Fujikura, Graphite Design, and prior to the fact, UST Mamiya), Titleist, Srixon and and a cast of others who don't deserve mention. I putt, pitch, chip and manage the course better than I did when I was 40 and playing several times a week. I am 40 pounds lighter than when I was 40 thanks to the departure of Mr. Heinekin, Mme Tanquerey, that Mexican Jose Cuervo, etc. I changed my swing to rely on tempo more than muscle and haven't had a lower back pain on the course in over 20 years. I can walk 18 if the topo is gentle--Florida. I still smoke cigarettes like Arnie in his heyday. If only I hadn't screwed up in my earlier years and pee'd away lots of $$$$, I could be playing every day. Count your blessings and chill out and you will whup 90 upside the head and cut 10 off that sumbaitch with regularity.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr natural
    You mean to tell me I won't be suprememly naturally gifted forever?
    Not forever, or even ever...
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by noshuz
    Hey! How's everybody doin'? Long time!

    Don't you worry Spank. I'm kinda going through the same thing. I'm going to be 49 this year and getting back into "fightin' shape" for windsurfing has been one of the most challenging things I've done in a long time. It's also been one of the most rewarding things as well. Although I have to accept some of the slight shortcomings getting older brings, I certainly appreciate the things I can do well, just not as long. I think what we loose in ability we gain in patience and appreciation......whoa, heavy!......
    Hi Wanker, where ya been?

    Edgey
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by edgey
    Hi Wanker, where ya been?

    Edgey
    Hey Edgey! I see yer still that ruff around the edges dipsh!t. Hows yer game? Still playin the shovelz?
    team obnoxious
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by noshuz
    Hey Edgey! I see yer still that ruff around the edges dipsh!t. Hows yer game? Still playin the shovelz?
    Sure am, i love my shovels.

    Last time we didnt hear from you a while it was preceded by a dramatic parting message. What happened, why no long goodbyes.

    Edgey
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by edgey
    Sure am, i love my shovels.

    Last time we didnt hear from you a while it was preceded by a dramatic parting message. What happened, why no long goodbyes.

    Edgey
    I've just been doing other things my friend! I had to remind myself that there are other things to do at work like, work! That and the fact that I've been windsurfing far more than golfing. It's FINALLY spring/summer weather here. Happy days! Anyway, doesn't look Like anything has changed here. Larry still ranting, etc., I hope all is well with you and everyone!
    May all your putts find a hole!.......
    team obnoxious
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by spanqdoggie
    Well, I am hitting that point (41 years old) where I have to face some serious realities... losing natural abilities of my youth...

    I now have fear of heights and don't like roller coasters much anymore; broken more bones than I can remember... No, I am in okay shape and stuff, but I was amazing with my athleticism, and it is not as good as it was; this saddens me.

    My wife and I treated my dad and my dad's 3rd wife to dinner and an Ironman 2 IMAX movie here (sf) a few weeks ago, and at dinner my dad told us how he had "cried for a year" when he turned 42...

    I wonder if my father had looked into my eyes and saw what I might have been feeling.

    ...Goodness, I have a dad that pitched 3 no hitters in a row, unheard of in high school (front page of SF Chron at the time), was a national handball champion, never worked for anyone (business owner) and he cried for a year?

    I knew/remembered when he cried and he was my age (one year older).

    My dad turned 42, cried, and moved on, and now he has 10 times more energy than I have at the age of 66; my grandfather had more energy than my dad...

    So, I don't know.

    Turning 30 was a lot harder, but 40 is something I am coming to accept... I haven't cried in 10 years, and I am crying now as I type... Well, I was crying first, then came here to write it up as personal therapy...

    I have a happy marriage, no debts, a little money in the bank, fun work...

    I will bounce back; just a little depressed right now that I can't carry 50 pieces of sheetrock up 2 flights of stairs by myself anymore... shoulder problems, etc.

    I do understand that the ages of 40-60 are the best ages for a man to live, but I have to let go of my youth, and a part of me is dying when I do that; another part of me is being born; my next life in this world from 40 to 90...

    It is not easy for me. Easier for others, I gather...

    Maybe I will just go out there and break 90 on the golf course; that day will come.

    spank
    This is absolutely true...make sure you hang around people that are older than you. One great way to do this is to play golf with older guys once in awhile. I used to go on a golf trip with several guys that were in their 70's and it was very interesting to see what different lifestyles can lead to. One guy walked 4 miles every morning, ate extremeley healthy and didn't smoke or drink. He looked 10 times better than the guys who didn't exercise or smoked but were the same age.

  17. #17
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    Two words, Spank: Prune Juice. I think most age-related problems can be traced to "irregularity". If you can just keep the logs moving down the river, eternal youth is yours for the taking.

    Don't believe that? Just look at the face of someone over say, 45. Their expression is typically contorted with bowel discomfort. Sure some people in their 40-s need Depends adult diapers, but most of the time it's really just a wishful thing. Like keeping a condom in your wallet when you go on a fishing trip with the guys. Um..don't take that the wrong way.

    If prune juice doesn't work, there's a product called Haley's MO my ex in-laws use. No, I don't know what the MO stands for. It looks like liquid chalk, only more disgusting than that. Anyways, they swear by it. My ex-mom in law is a really sweet lady, but she runs about 300 lbs, so she needs to keep it moving.

    That pretty much exhausts my knowledge of constipation, so I hope it's helpful. There's a morning DJ here that apparently eats almost nothing but cheese. Cheese is a well known constipation agent, just look at the French. This DJ swears if you raise your legs so that your knees are over your head while going, you can solve constipation. I'm not sure, but I'd probably prefer the Haley's MO.

    Don't fret about being over 40, you're still a kid and can do anything, you're living in one of the best cities in the world, maybe the best, and accepting your mortality can be painful, but once you move on things will seem right as rain again.
    GR lives...

  18. #18
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    Spank, as you progress into geezerhood you will realize you sure don't give a crap about the small nuisances anymore and will have a blast making the younger guys care about them!

  19. #19
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    I"ll be fifty in two months. whining about forty is for pansies. :-) GAWD I wish I was forty.
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    I"ll be fifty in two months. whining about forty is for pansies. :-) GAWD I wish I was forty.
    I'll be 41 at the end of this month.

    My wife and I have a 7 month old son.

    That will either keep me young or kill me. The jury is still out.
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff_h
    I'll be 41 at the end of this month.

    My wife and I have a 7 month old son.

    That will either keep me young or kill me. The jury is still out.
    As he progresses through toddlerhood and adolescence, it will keep you young. Once he's a teenager it'll kill you, no matter how old you are.
    GR lives...

  22. #22
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    Hey Spank, the best thing about getting older is that you don't give a shite about what people say or think anymore, Phuck em.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    As he progresses through toddlerhood and adolescence, it will keep you young. Once he's a teenager it'll kill you, no matter how old you are.
    Lorenzoinoc... This is so true...

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff_h
    I'll be 41 at the end of this month.

    My wife and I have a 7 month old son.

    That will either keep me young or kill me. The jury is still out.
    If you're curious how it's worked out for others, my wife's dad had her at 41. A surprise. He is now 90 and going strong. Fit, healthy, able to move around, still can swing a club even, although he doesn't go out anymore.

    He has a challenge, though.

    He was a DC3 pilot in the Navy back in the closing years of the war. Flew the pacific rim transport missions, brought back wounded from that theater. Loved the "Gooney Bird", hasn't sat in the cockpit of one for sixty three years. Chose law school instead of going to work as pilot for Western Airlines in 1947, never looked back.

    I've booked a DC3 that is operated out of Meacham Field in Ft. Worth by some guys who work air shows and preserve old planes. Next Saturday he's going to fly it. :-))) He's stoked. Can't wait. 90 years old, he's certain he remembers very well how to fly that plane, ready to do it.

    so, being a father at 41 hasn't done him any harm. I'll be gone when you're 90, but .. enjoy it.. technology being what it is, you should hit the driver 450 yards by then.
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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    If you're curious how it's worked out for others, my wife's dad had her at 41. A surprise. He is now 90 and going strong. Fit, healthy, able to move around, still can swing a club even, although he doesn't go out anymore.

    He has a challenge, though.

    He was a DC3 pilot in the Navy back in the closing years of the war. Flew the pacific rim transport missions, brought back wounded from that theater. Loved the "Gooney Bird", hasn't sat in the cockpit of one for sixty three years. Chose law school instead of going to work as pilot for Western Airlines in 1947, never looked back.

    I've booked a DC3 that is operated out of Meacham Field in Ft. Worth by some guys who work air shows and preserve old planes. Next Saturday he's going to fly it. :-))) He's stoked. Can't wait. 90 years old, he's certain he remembers very well how to fly that plane, ready to do it.

    so, being a father at 41 hasn't done him any harm. I'll be gone when you're 90, but .. enjoy it.. technology being what it is, you should hit the driver 450 yards by then.
    At 90 years old, let's hope he won't be flying over any homes.
    GR lives...

  26. #26
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    [QUOTE=daveperkins]If you're curious how it's worked out for others, my wife's dad had her at 41. A surprise. He is now 90 and going strong. Fit, healthy, able to move around, still can swing a club even, although he doesn't go out anymore.

    He has a challenge, though.

    He was a DC3 pilot in the Navy back in the closing years of the war. Flew the pacific rim transport missions, brought back wounded from that theater. Loved the "Gooney Bird", hasn't sat in the cockpit of one for sixty three years. Chose law school instead of going to work as pilot for Western Airlines in 1947, never looked back.

    I've booked a DC3 that is operated out of Meacham Field in Ft. Worth by some guys who work air shows and preserve old planes. Next Saturday he's going to fly it. :-))) He's stoked. Can't wait. 90 years old, he's certain he remembers very well how to fly that plane, ready to do it.[QUOTE]

    I love those planes. My first flight was in a Lufthansa DC-3 from Copenhagen to Berlin in 1959. Cruised at 8,000 feet, no O2 or pressurization. Canvas flap separated the cockpit from the passenger compartment. Just my father and I and 60 Japanese businessmen all dressed in identical gray sharkskin suits, black tie oxfords, black ties and black thick frame glasses. My father had the first Polaroid 60 second black and white camera and, after the first photo of a group of them standing in the aisle developed in 60 seconds, it was Nippon euphoria 'til we landed at Templehof.
    so, being a father at 41 hasn't done him any harm. I'll be gone when you're 90, but .. enjoy it.. technology being what it is, you should hit the driver 450 yards by then.UOTE]

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    If you're curious how it's worked out for others, my wife's dad had her at 41. A surprise. He is now 90 and going strong. Fit, healthy, able to move around, still can swing a club even, although he doesn't go out anymore.

    He has a challenge, though.

    He was a DC3 pilot in the Navy back in the closing years of the war. Flew the pacific rim transport missions, brought back wounded from that theater. Loved the "Gooney Bird", hasn't sat in the cockpit of one for sixty three years. Chose law school instead of going to work as pilot for Western Airlines in 1947, never looked back.

    I've booked a DC3 that is operated out of Meacham Field in Ft. Worth by some guys who work air shows and preserve old planes. Next Saturday he's going to fly it. :-))) He's stoked. Can't wait. 90 years old, he's certain he remembers very well how to fly that plane, ready to do it.

    so, being a father at 41 hasn't done him any harm. I'll be gone when you're 90, but .. enjoy it.. technology being what it is, you should hit the driver 450 yards by then.
    That is simply effing awesome.

    I hope he (and you!) have a frigging blast.
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  28. #28
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    Spank, don't sweat the little things. I am fast approaching 42 and can honesty say that I've never felt better. The upside of wasting your 20s and 30s drinking beer and not exercising is that it makes it quite easy to improve your overall health in your 40s. I still don't exercise enough, but I can honestly say that I am as strong now as I have ever been, and know that htere is heaps of room for improvement if I put the effort in. I understand that for guys who were elite sportsmen in active sports like you were that hitting the 40s will defnitely see a downturn physically and it would be depressing to know that your best days in most sports are behind you, but the bright side for you is that you are still plenty young enough to have your best golf ahead of you. Diet and low impact exercise will keep you going string as long as you want. I once knew an old ex boxer who trained every day and he was fitter and more energetic at 76 than any of us teenagers he trained, and we trained pretty hard. I think the important thing to know when you get into your 40s and beyond is that your body will slow down so you have to use it or lose it, but if you use it you can stay strong and healthy well into old age.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  29. #29
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    Whats up with all of this positive shat. Look forward to depends, viagra, flowmax and a finger up the old rump, At least your calves are heathy Spank

    GHD
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  30. #30
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    How heart rending. If you're letting go of your youth how about starting with the oh so juvenile handle/forum name? No? Go figure.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred3
    How heart rending. If you're letting go of your youth how about starting with the oh so juvenile handle/forum name? No? Go figure.
    Fred your a fu ck ing genious. I hope one day to stand in your shoes. your stupidly simple take on life and golf is snifff snifff well snifff well makes me want to be more inclusive Teach me Fred on including everyone in your complicated world.
    GHD

    PS I am emotional right now please forgive me.
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
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  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by groundhogday
    Look forward to ...a finger up the old rump
    Recreationally, or.......?
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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    Recreationally, or.......?
    Well if milking a prostrate is a sport well What happens in Texas stays in Texas.

    Whoa Mama

    Since my babyleft me I found a new place to stay down at the loney place they call "prostrate motel" I feel so lonely baby I feel so lonely I could cry.



    GHD
    Last edited by groundhogday; 06-04-2010 at 06:08 PM.
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
    Sun Tzu

    "There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot."
    Sam Snead

    Taylor Made R9 TP
    Cleveland CG-10 52 &56
    Taylormade v-steel copy 3 & 5 wood
    Tiger Shark 18* hybrid
    Tayormade 2007 Burner 10.5 Driver
    odyssey #9 white hot
    gamer topflite
    Dewars scotch whiskey

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by groundhogday
    Well if milking a prostrate is a sport well What happens in Texas stays in Texas.

    Whoa Mama

    Since my babyleft me I found a new place to stay down at the loney place they call "prostrate motel" I feel so lonely baby I fell so lonely I could cry.



    GHD
    Gentlemen,

    if I pointed out the error and GHD ceased to make it, there is a real risk of some epic future accidental humor being destroyed. I shall therefore restrain myself.
    Cleveland long clubs
    Adams Idea Pro irons
    Vokey and Cleveland wedges

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    Gentlemen,

    if I pointed out the error and GHD ceased to make it, there is a real risk of some epic future accidental humor being destroyed. I shall therefore restrain myself.
    Shall I leave forever like Sooner ?

    Yes I know you want Stifler's mom I digress.

    I am ceasing to make sense.

    no more lucid moments for me thank you very much


    GHD
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
    Sun Tzu

    "There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot."
    Sam Snead

    Taylor Made R9 TP
    Cleveland CG-10 52 &56
    Taylormade v-steel copy 3 & 5 wood
    Tiger Shark 18* hybrid
    Tayormade 2007 Burner 10.5 Driver
    odyssey #9 white hot
    gamer topflite
    Dewars scotch whiskey

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    Gentlemen,

    if I pointed out the error and GHD ceased to make it, there is a real risk of some epic future accidental humor being destroyed. I shall therefore restrain myself.
    Dave

    Do you have an inate need to point out error and does this work like viagra for you. anyway how they hanging.

    GHD

    Criptict to say the least
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
    Sun Tzu

    "There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot."
    Sam Snead

    Taylor Made R9 TP
    Cleveland CG-10 52 &56
    Taylormade v-steel copy 3 & 5 wood
    Tiger Shark 18* hybrid
    Tayormade 2007 Burner 10.5 Driver
    odyssey #9 white hot
    gamer topflite
    Dewars scotch whiskey

  37. #37
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by groundhogday
    Dave

    Do you have an inate need to point out error and does this work like viagra for you. anyway how they hanging.

    GHD

    Criptict to say the least
    if I had a need to point error, I'd have done it. Instead, I showed restraint in the name of possible future humor. :-)
    Cleveland long clubs
    Adams Idea Pro irons
    Vokey and Cleveland wedges

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    if I had a need to point error, I'd have done it. Instead, I showed restraint in the name of possible future humor. :-)
    Well dam n it you could help with my spilling criptict does not equal criptic. But thanks for not being over the top. My spilling sux so does my righting.

    Thanks for having my back

    GHD
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
    Sun Tzu

    "There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot."
    Sam Snead

    Taylor Made R9 TP
    Cleveland CG-10 52 &56
    Taylormade v-steel copy 3 & 5 wood
    Tiger Shark 18* hybrid
    Tayormade 2007 Burner 10.5 Driver
    odyssey #9 white hot
    gamer topflite
    Dewars scotch whiskey

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