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  1. #1
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    I'm going to Augusta!!!

    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    I'm envious. My best friend that I golf with daily went 3 years ago and he still hasn't quit talking about it. I KNOW you will enjoy being part of the greatest sporting event in the world. Have a good time, FD.

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  3. #3
    Did it in '03, I walked the course from 18, 17, 16, etc to see all the players and the whole course. Beautiful, not a blade of grass out of place. Have a pimmento(?) sandwich-for 1.50, I think it was. And the shops are strategically right by the gates, can't miss'em. Lotsa fun places downtown at nighttime.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    Did it a couple years ago Friday round. My buddies dad has been getting tickets since 1968 for all rounds to include pratice rounds. Get there early and buy your Masters stuff put it in the car and then enjoy the course. The merchandize shop will be packed. You will be supprised about the beverage and food prices. When I went a ham sadwich, a bag of chips and a beer was $ 4.00. A bottle of water was a dollar. If you want to see Tiger or Phil you have to get ahead of them and wait otherwise the crowds around them is to big too see them play. Start doing some walking now because Augusta is hilly. The Masters puts on a class A tourniment. Amen corner is the best part of the course IMO.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    Make that two of us, Mr. Davis. I've got a badge for the final round. I've been beyond excited since the Orlando match. What day are you going?
    2-0-1 in GR stroke play

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    Buddy of mine is leaving on Saturday to spend a few weeks in the south, then head to Augusta.

    I think I'm one of the few who doesn't give a sh!t about the Masters all that much. I mean, it's a major, but it's down at the bottom with the PGA championship. The Opens are the real test. Fukk the Masters and those shitty old men who never let me see the front 9 and tightly control every damn thing about it.

  7. #7
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    What are you guys talking about? I'm going to Augusta, Maine to see the lobster festival.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    What are you guys talking about? I'm going to Augusta, Maine to see the lobster festival.
    MmmmmmMMMmmmmm.... Lobster......
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    What are you guys talking about? I'm going to Augusta, Maine to see the lobster festival.
    Your buddy screwed you then. The Lobster Festival is in Rockland, Maine . . . . . . . . . . . in August.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    Buddy of mine is leaving on Saturday to spend a few weeks in the south, then head to Augusta.

    I think I'm one of the few who doesn't give a sh!t about the Masters all that much. I mean, it's a major, but it's down at the bottom with the PGA championship. The Opens are the real test. Fukk the Masters and those shitty old men who never let me see the front 9 and tightly control every damn thing about it.
    Go to the other Masters thread started by Sooner BS, I think you will find that you are not alone with your summation of the Masters. Any tournament where a commentator gets a lfe ban for saying that the ground staff use bikini wax on the greens is way too stuffy for my liking.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    My friend went to a "real" Augusta last year and he was surprised that food and beer were reasonably cheap... He said the course was great and the greens were super fast

  12. #12
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    I'm playing at Augusta on Sunday.
    April 10th at my home course they are tricking up one of the 18's for an Augusta Day. The greens will be made super quick with the pins in inacessible positions. Should be fun!
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    Big Dave should play at Tour 18 either in Houston or Dallas TX...I played at Tour 18 in Houston a few times and it has a few duplicate of Augusta's holes, the fun one is par 3 hole 12, I went past the green into one of the bunkers on the back... by the time I walked back there, I realized that it' s severely slopped from bunker to green and into a pond... It was scary, I just putted it out of a bunker onto the green...

    http://www.augusta.com/masters/coursetour/hole12/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pky6471
    Big Dave should play at Tour 18 either in Houston or Dallas TX...I played at Tour 18 in Houston a few times and it has a few duplicate of Augusta's holes, the fun one is par 3 hole 12, I went past the green into one of the bunkers on the back... by the time I walked back there, I realized that it' s severely slopped from bunker to green and into a pond... It was scary, I just putted it out of a bunker onto the green...

    http://www.augusta.com/masters/coursetour/hole12/
    tour 18 is on my list for this year.. :-)
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    Your buddy screwed you then. The Lobster Festival is in Rockland, Maine . . . . . . . . . . . in August.
    Maybe it's the mussle or hermit crab festival then. I'll be watching the Masters in the comfort of my own home. I think this thread will go down as one of the all time failed attempts at comedy.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Maybe it's the mussle or hermit crab festival then. I'll be watching the Masters in the comfort of my own home. I think this thread will go down as one of the all time failed attempts at comedy.
    you got no help here, that's for sure. But maybe you didn't earn it.
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Maybe it's the mussle or hermit crab festival then. I'll be watching the Masters in the comfort of my own home. I think this thread will go down as one of the all time failed attempts at comedy.
    I don't know, you have some others that failed pretty miserably.

    I too will be watching amen's corner from my desk at work during the week and from the couch on the weekend. I usually watch it on TiVO but it's sometimes hard to wait the hour or two and I end up watching it live. Especially any of the Majors.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Maybe it's the mussle or hermit crab festival then. I'll be watching the Masters in the comfort of my own home. I think this thread will go down as one of the all time failed attempts at comedy.
    Ah you wank, I thought I was going to have a friend at the Masters.
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mward2002
    Ah you wank, I thought I was going to have a friend at the Masters.
    now you'll have to eat TWO pimento sandwiches. DAMMIT.
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    I don't know, you have some others that failed pretty miserably.

    I too will be watching amen's corner from my desk at work during the week and from the couch on the weekend. I usually watch it on TiVO but it's sometimes hard to wait the hour or two and I end up watching it live. Especially any of the Majors.
    If you're watching it live, you can't FF through Nantz. For diabetics this could be life threatening.

    See FD? There needs to be at least at least a tiny clue of a distortion or at least something to create a pause.

    Consider this: I practiced chipping.

    What makes that hilarious is I was actually practicing chipping off Oprah's muff. But unless the reader is clairvoyant he'd have no way of knowing I wasn't just chipping off Rosie O'Donnell's muff. You can also go too far the other way.

    Consider this: I'm going to Augusta. No not Augusta, Georgia, Augusta, Maine. Ok you can start slapping your thighs now at this funny joke. Nothing subtle, nothing funny.

    I hope this comedy primer starts you on the path towards being funny. If you could forward this to Peter Jacobsen we'd all be grateful.

    Carry on.
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveperkins
    now you'll have to eat TWO pimento sandwiches. DAMMIT.
    I'll bring a Ping club and toss it in Rae's creek or Ike's pond at the par 3 course in memory. A burial at sea if you will.
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  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    Go to the other Masters thread started by Sooner BS, I think you will find that you are not alone with your summation of the Masters. Any tournament where a commentator gets a lfe ban for saying that the ground staff use bikini wax on the greens is way too stuffy for my liking.
    Part of the problem was the timing. Bikini Wax wasn't that big of a thing back then. Now that everyone does it it probably wouldn't be that offensive to say something like that. The Masters needs Johnny Miller.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Part of the problem was the timing. Bikini Wax wasn't that big of a thing back then. Now that everyone does it it probably wouldn't be that offensive to say something like that. The Masters needs Johnny Miller.
    Nobody needs Johnny Miller. That big-headed douche ruins every broadcast he's on.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    Nobody needs Johnny Miller. That big-headed douche ruins every broadcast he's on.
    Although Miller never won it, he finished second three times over a ten-year span. He calls a spade a spade. He criticizes players, officials and the course st-ups. He is usually right. Better Miller than some ass-kisser who won an event or two and is still capable of earning low six figures on the Senior Tour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    Although Miller never won it, he finished second three times over a ten-year span. He calls a spade a spade. He criticizes players, officials and the course st-ups. He is usually right. Better Miller than some ass-kisser who won an event or two and is still capable of earning low six figures on the Senior Tour.
    Yaz is just upset because he regularly bikini waxes.
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Maybe it's the mussle or hermit crab festival then. I'll be watching the Masters in the comfort of my own home. I think this thread will go down as one of the all time failed attempts at comedy.
    Sorry FD, I would have helped but it went over my head. I thought you were actually going to see the masters and the Lobster thing was a joke. It is funny now that I get it. In addition to Lorenzo's tips I would suggest that it would have been funnier if you hyped the trip until masters weekend, then delivered the punch the Monday after. If we've proven anything here, it's that things are funnier when beaten without mercy into the ground.
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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    Nobody needs Johnny Miller. That big-headed douche ruins every broadcast he's on.
    He's the best there is at golf announcing by far. This is not an opinion but a fact.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    He's the best there is at golf announcing by far. This is not an opinion but a fact.
    No it's really not.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    No it's really not.
    I claim that it is and I had first dibbs. Later.

  30. #30
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    I'm with Yaz. Johnny Miller is a moron. Half the crap he says is outdated, and the other half is just plain wrong. Give me McCord and Feherty any day.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I'm with Yaz. Johnny Miller is a moron. Half the crap he says is outdated, and the other half is just plain wrong. Give me McCord and Feherty any day.
    Yeah, but both of your opinions are still worth less than my opinion alone so I still win.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Yeah, but both of your opinions are still worth less than my opinion alone so I still win.
    I sincerely hope that you're trolling with your praise of Nantz. If you really believe it you have problems.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I sincerely hope that you're trolling with your praise of Nantz. If you really believe it you have problems.
    Where did I praise Nantz? I don't like Nantz at all. I'm talking about the televised event and lack of ads. I wish they had better announcers but the televised coverage is great. I think they do a great job of showing a lot of irons shots and drives rather than showing putting all the time.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Where did I praise Nantz? I don't like Nantz at all. I'm talking about the televised event and lack of ads. I wish they had better announcers but the televised coverage is great. I think they do a great job of showing a lot of irons shots and drives rather than showing putting all the time.
    I retarct that comment, sorry. I thought I read someone say something about good commentators at Augusta and assumed it was you.

    P.S. On closer investigation it was actually Husky Hater in another thread singing the praises of Nantz.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I retarct that comment, sorry. I thought I read someone say something about good commentators at Augusta and assumed it was you.

    P.S. On closer investigation it was actually Husky Hater in another thread singing the praises of Nantz.
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  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    You unbelievably lucky bastard...

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  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I'm with Yaz. Johnny Miller is a moron. Half the crap he says is outdated, and the other half is just plain wrong. Give me McCord and Feherty any day.
    Kind of sad but Dotti is usually one of the easiest to listen to. All the others are trying to out wit each other and she just does her job.

    I like it when maltby calls BS to miller. Big head miller almost always backs down.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Kind of sad but Dotti is usually one of the easiest to listen to. All the others are trying to out wit each other and she just does her job.

    I like it when maltby calls BS to miller. Big head miller almost always backs down.
    What's your take on IBF (Ian Baker Finch)? I find him to be a very good commentator, possibly the best in the US commentary teams. Knowledgeable and insightful without being a know it all smart arse. He gets the call right more times than not to. Miller is just a putz.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    What's your take on IBF (Ian Baker Finch)? I find him to be a very good commentator, possibly the best in the US commentary teams. Knowledgeable and insightful without being a know it all smart arse. He gets the call right more times than not to. Miller is just a putz.
    Finch is good for the reasons you mentioned.

    In some ways miller is good. Having comments you can clearly disagree with are better than middle of the road nantz bs. He's been giving tw the gears about his putting lately which I find funny. Especially when he has to pull his tongue out of TW's hershey highway to say it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mward2002
    Ah you wank, I thought I was going to have a friend at the Masters.
    Mward, it is WANKER, I have told you already :-)
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldplayer
    I'm playing at Augusta on Sunday.
    April 10th at my home course they are tricking up one of the 18's for an Augusta Day. The greens will be made super quick with the pins in inacessible positions. Should be fun!
    I own Augusta National!
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Kind of sad but Dotti is usually one of the easiest to listen to. All the others are trying to out wit each other and she just does her job.

    I like it when maltby calls BS to miller. Big head miller almost always backs down.
    This is very true, Poe. You don't hear many talking Dotti up because she is not "flashy" in her commentary, but she also doesn't make an ass of herself like a lot of the others do eventually.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    Mward, it is WANKER, I have told you already :-)
    Well done Pottsy we do need to educate our American compadres when it comes to English but aren't you being a little picky here. Wanker = noun or adjective whereas Wank normally = verb. However in modern usage Wanker can certainly be abbreviated to Wank and still used as a noun/adjective.

    Perhaps we need Edgey for a final opinion on this?
    I chose the road less traveled.

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  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Well done Pottsy we do need to educate our American compadres when it comes to English but aren't you being a little picky here. Wanker = noun or adjective whereas Wank normally = verb. However in modern usage Wanker can certainly be abbreviated to Wank and still used as a noun/adjective.

    Perhaps we need Edgey for a final opinion on this?
    Item's like this can only be decided using the urban dictionary web sit. You do appear to be correct Kiwi...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wank

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    [QUOTE=alangbaker]
    You unbelievably
    There's nothing unbelievable about it. Thousands of people go to Augusta every year. Show me the source that says it's unbelievable.

    lucky
    If he won the Lotto Jackpot that is lucky. Going to Augusta is not lucky. It just means he has a ticket and he is going. There is no luck involved.

    bastard...
    Who says he is a bastard? Can you quote your source? Just because he doesn't live in his mom's basement doesn't necessarily make him a bastard. I know it's possible but you need to know your facts before making these sweeping generalisations.
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Item's like this can only be decided using the urban dictionary web sit. You do appear to be correct Kiwi...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wank
    When I was in Berlin last June a German Cycle Beer Cart went by with a bunch of British yobs singing "I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker". An older American couple were standing behind me and the woman asked her husband "What does wanker mean?"

    I turned around and didn't have the heart to tell her the truth so I just said that it was equivalent to the American term "Jackass" which in general terms I think is close enough.

    The cycle beer cart looked something like this.

    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    This is very true, Poe. You don't hear many talking Dotti up because she is not "flashy" in her commentary, but she also doesn't make an ass of herself like a lot of the others do eventually.
    Dotti is good, for a woman. In general, she's boring and I can't stand the way the women always whisper when they talk. Dotti never says anything other than "that was a great shot". I don't know why you guys have such a hard time with someone who is honest and tells it like it is, like Miller. Nobody else is as knowledgeable or insightful as Miller.

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    [QUOTE=Kiwi Player]
    Quote Originally Posted by alangbaker
    There's nothing unbelievable about it. Thousands of people go to Augusta every year. Show me the source that says it's unbelievable.


    If he won the Lotto Jackpot that is lucky. Going to Augusta is not lucky. It just means he has a ticket and he is going. There is no luck involved.


    Who says he is a bastard? Can you quote your source? Just because he doesn't live in his mom's basement doesn't necessarily make him a bastard. I know it's possible but you need to know your facts before making these sweeping generalisations.
    LOL, Good work Kiwi...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    When I was in Berlin last June a German Cycle Beer Cart went by with a bunch of British yobs singing "I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker". An older American couple were standing behind me and the woman asked her husband "What does wanker mean?"

    I turned around and didn't have the heart to tell her the truth so I just said that it was equivalent to the American term "Jackass" which in general terms I think is close enough.

    The cycle beer cart looked something like this.

    Those chaps should really be wearing helmets. Particularly the cross-dresser that has on both pants and a skirt. When the Germans rounded up the jews, they needed dogs, weapons, battalions of men and help from German citizens. To round up the English they just send a beer cart down the street.
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Dotti is good, for a woman. In general, she's boring and I can't stand the way the women always whisper when they talk. Dotti never says anything other than "that was a great shot". I don't know why you guys have such a hard time with someone who is honest and tells it like it is, like Miller. Nobody else is as knowledgeable or insightful as Miller.
    I concede that if I was you, I would think that about Miller. Your opinion is very understandable but wrong.

    I remember dotti following Bubba. On a Par 3 like 240 yards he had a 7 iron out and was planning a gigantic hook. His caddy was moving people about 100 yards left of the green. Miller asked dotti what was going on and can't he just hit straight at the hole. She said something like "I don't think Bubba thinks in straight lines. He planning a large hook shot into this green." Miller asked how large and she replied "I don't know, but it looks like he's starting this one left of Tampa." (obviously playing somewhere in florida.) It was the funiest line of the day. Subtle, funny and very informative.
    Last edited by poe4soul; 03-31-2011 at 07:38 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    I concede that if I was you, I would think that about Miller. Your opinion is very understandable but wrong.

    I remember dotti following Bubba. On a Par 3 like 240 yards he had a 7 iron out and was planning a gigantic hook. His caddy was moving people about 100 yards left of the green. Miller asked dotti what was going on and can't hit just hit straight at the hole. She said something like "I don't think Bubba thinks in straight lines. He planning a large hook shot into this green." Miller asked how large and she replied "I don't know, but it looks like he's starting this one left of Tampa." (obviously playing somewhere in florida.) It was the funiest line of the day. Subtle, funny and very informative.
    Like most women, Dotti works harder than the men and sets up a shot really well, maybe better than even Feherty, possibly because she isn't concentrating most of her brain on being funny. No problem there, I'd rather Feherty do it that way.

    Maltby occasionally does a good job setting up a shot, but I suspect generally by the time he's gotten his old, fat ass down the fairway to the golfer hitting the shot, he's too late and too out of breath.

    I'll take Miller because virtually anybody that provides totally sterile, predicatable, ignorable commentary is just boring. I'd rather have an old I did this better, not sure I know what I'm talking about curmudgeon than boring and predictable or someone with saccharin dripping out of his ass. By the way, combine those things together and you get Nantz.

    Yes, well done K.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Like most women, Dotti works harder than the men and sets up a shot really well, maybe better than even Feherty, possibly because she isn't concentrating most of her brain on being funny. No problem there, I'd rather Feherty do it that way.

    Maltby occasionally does a good job setting up a shot, but I suspect generally by the time he's gotten his old, fat ass down the fairway to the golfer hitting the shot, he's too late and too out of breath.

    I'll take Miller because virtually anybody that provides totally sterile, predicatable, ignorable commentary is just boring. I'd rather have an old I did this better, not sure I know what I'm talking about curmudgeon than boring and predictable or someone with saccharin dripping out of his ass. By the way, combine those things together and you get Nantz.

    Yes, well done K.
    I think miller has a job 'cause it's easier to sell someone for people to hate than like. Either way people listen to him but for different reasons. It's like tiger has more people tunning in to see if tiger is sucking eggs right now than to see if he's winning. Human nature is great. Miller has 7 children. I imagine his wife wears the granny panties and pants in the family. That's why he has to talk like a know it all prick on TV.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Well done Pottsy we do need to educate our American compadres when it comes to English but aren't you being a little picky here. Wanker = noun or adjective whereas Wank normally = verb. However in modern usage Wanker can certainly be abbreviated to Wank and still used as a noun/adjective.

    Perhaps we need Edgey for a final opinion on this?
    No that is not true. You CANNOT credibly call someone a wank. "Hey Tiger you're a wank" just doesn't work in English I'm afraid.

    Edgey will not opine any different I assure you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    I think miller has a job 'cause it's easier to sell someone for people to hate than like. Either way people listen to him but for different reasons. It's like tiger has more people tunning in to see if tiger is sucking eggs right now than to see if he's winning. Human nature is great. Miller has 7 children. I imagine his wife wears the granny panties and pants in the family. That's why he has to talk like a know it all prick on TV.
    Every now and then you end up with someone in your cart like Miller where you want to offer them $20 just to stop talking for 5 minutes. I used to do that with my ex-wife which pissed her off to no end.

    I think whatever warm feelings I have towards Miller come from gratitude it isn't Nance or worse Kelly Tilughtheman.
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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Item's like this can only be decided using the urban dictionary web sit. You do appear to be correct Kiwi...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wank
    We are not arguing whether wank is a permissible term are we? Of course it is. For a male to masturbate he has a wank. For him to be a masturbator he is a wanker.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    We are not arguing whether wank is a permissible term are we? Of course it is. For a male to masturbate he has a wank. For him to be a masturbator he is a wanker.
    I'm guessing you did not like the movie Johnny Dangerously.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    We are not arguing whether wank is a permissible term are we? Of course it is. For a male to masturbate he has a wank. For him to be a masturbator he is a wanker.
    Here let me help you. Like in any dictionary you often have to look for the second or sometime the third meaning to find the one that applies.

    2. wank a derogatory british word describing the gentle art of masturbation often misused by americans. Hence:
    1)wanking- not wanking off
    2)wanker- not wank
    3)a situation can be a wank
    1) i was wanking (when my mother walked in). i had a wank.
    2) Graham is a wanker. Americans are wankers.
    3) That was a wank(the film, lecture, class, job interview etc).

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    [QUOTE=Kiwi Player]
    Quote Originally Posted by alangbaker
    There's nothing unbelievable about it. Thousands of people go to Augusta every year. Show me the source that says it's unbelievable.


    If he won the Lotto Jackpot that is lucky. Going to Augusta is not lucky. It just means he has a ticket and he is going. There is no luck involved.


    Who says he is a bastard? Can you quote your source? Just because he doesn't live in his mom's basement doesn't necessarily make him a bastard. I know it's possible but you need to know your facts before making these sweeping generalisations.
    You are correct Kiwi... All about connection, period. My friend went there last year because his son-in-law lives and works in Atlanta Georgia who got him a $250 ticket ... It's nice to be there but nothing like winning a big lottery ticket

  59. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    I'm guessing you did not like the movie Johnny Dangerously.
    My mother called me a wanker once....ONCE!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Every now and then you end up with someone in your cart like Miller where you want to offer them $20 just to stop talking for 5 minutes. I used to do that with my ex-wife which pissed her off to no end.

    I think whatever warm feelings I have towards Miller come from gratitude it isn't Nance or worse Kelly Tilughtheman.
    I like johnny as an announcer. He puts himself out there. That's not easy to do, especially when you have a big head and an ugly one at that. Often think he's a total DB but I have a mute on my HT. I must admit the mute is more to keep my wife from yelling at JM on the screen when he's being a complete idiot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    I like johnny as an announcer. He puts himself out there. That's not easy to do, especially when you have a big head and an ugly one at that. Often think he's a total DB but I have a mute on my HT. I must admit the mute is more to keep my wife from yelling at JM on the screen when he's being a complete idiot.
    If you need me to help you spend money on your HT, let me know, I'm finished I think spending it on mine. Actually, I've got some R&M to deal with as the cat pulled the curtain rod out of the wall over the rear door trying to climb up the drapes.

    Seriously, dump any and all analog bs you might still have, if any, and go digital. You can now get serious room correction for a small fraction of what the really great stuff cost just last year.

    Last night we watched War Of The Worlds after The Eagles Reunion Tour and they were both totally rad.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    No that is not true. You CANNOT credibly call someone a wank. "Hey Tiger you're a wank" just doesn't work in English I'm afraid.

    Edgey will not opine any different I assure you.
    I didn't see much wrong with the abreviation, but I can edit as nececssary. He's still a wanker.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    If you need me to help you spend money on your HT, let me know, I'm finished I think spending it on mine. Actually, I've got some R&M to deal with as the cat pulled the curtain rod out of the wall over the rear door trying to climb up the drapes.

    Seriously, dump any and all analog bs you might still have, if any, and go digital. You can now get serious room correction for a small fraction of what the really great stuff cost just last year.

    Last night we watched War Of The Worlds after The Eagles Reunion Tour and they were both totally rad.
    To keep on topic, does it affect JM's voice? Is he more clear?

    Dude, I'm a land surveyor. Business isn't exactly stellar right now. It's a hunker down and wait and see mode. I'm not rushing out to buy any HT equipment unless it breaks. Thanks for the heads up just the same. I'd love to upgrade my projector but it's not going to happen anytime soon. When I do I'll definitely start a thread or two to discuss.

    Seriously, Eagle Reunion Tour? Rad? I just got a little vomit in my mouth even considering listening to Hotel California one more time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    To keep on topic, does it affect JM's voice? Is he more clear?

    Dude, I'm a land surveyor. Business isn't exactly stellar right now. It's a hunker down and wait and see mode. I'm not rushing out to buy any HT equipment unless it breaks. Thanks for the heads up just the same. I'd love to upgrade my projector but it's not going to happen anytime soon. When I do I'll definitely start a thread or two to discuss.

    Seriously, Eagle Reunion Tour? Rad? I just got a little vomit in my mouth even considering listening to Hotel California one more time.
    But that's just the point, stuff that might normally make you blow can become seriously entertaining. We're talking Glee and Burlesque as well as Eagles here. I'm not saying it can make one gay but if someone was borderline it might.

    Surveyor, I get it, sorry. When greedy lenders and developers have formed a line at the public till again we'll talk.
    GR lives...

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    To keep on topic, does it affect JM's voice? Is he more clear?

    Dude, I'm a land surveyor. Business isn't exactly stellar right now. It's a hunker down and wait and see mode. I'm not rushing out to buy any HT equipment unless it breaks. Thanks for the heads up just the same. I'd love to upgrade my projector but it's not going to happen anytime soon. When I do I'll definitely start a thread or two to discuss.

    Seriously, Eagle Reunion Tour? Rad? I just got a little vomit in my mouth even considering listening to Hotel California one more time.
    No kidding. I hear that so many times on the radio it makes me sick. I think I'd rather listen to James Blunt's "you're beautiful" one more time than Hotel California.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    To keep on topic, does it affect JM's voice? Is he more clear?

    Dude, I'm a land surveyor. Business isn't exactly stellar right now. It's a hunker down and wait and see mode. I'm not rushing out to buy any HT equipment unless it breaks. Thanks for the heads up just the same. I'd love to upgrade my projector but it's not going to happen anytime soon. When I do I'll definitely start a thread or two to discuss.

    Seriously, Eagle Reunion Tour? Rad? I just got a little vomit in my mouth even considering listening to Hotel California one more time.
    I threw up listening to it for the first time.
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    No that is not true. You CANNOT credibly call someone a wank. "Hey Tiger you're a wank" just doesn't work in English I'm afraid.

    Edgey will not opine any different I assure you.
    Ok maybe you're right. But it can still work as a noun/adjective. How many times have you come out of a meeting and said "Wasn't that a bunch of wank!"

    Anyway only an uptight nit picking wanker would be so worked up about this.
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

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    [QUOTE=Pky6471]
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player

    You are correct Kiwi... All about connection, period. My friend went there last year because his son-in-law lives and works in Atlanta Georgia who got him a $250 ticket ... It's nice to be there but nothing like winning a big lottery ticket
    Did you miss the irony in my post per chance?
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

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    I can't believe Alan didn't actually read the thread. He must have read FD's first post then immediately replied. I thought that was a little telling.
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldplayer
    I can't believe Alan didn't actually read the thread. He must have read FD's first post then immediately replied. I thought that was a little telling.
    I know. It may turn out with this thread that I get to surprise people more than once, depending on how much of the thread they read. You'd be proud of me OP, I haven't bought a new set of clubs in over a week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    But that's just the point, stuff that might normally make you blow can become seriously entertaining. We're talking Glee and Burlesque as well as Eagles here. I'm not saying it can make one gay but if someone was borderline it might.

    Surveyor, I get it, sorry. When greedy lenders and developers have formed a line at the public till again we'll talk.
    Luckily I do most of my work in the public sector. the problem is all the private surveyors are now starving so they are jumping into the public trough and will basically work for food.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I know. It may turn out with this thread that I get to surprise people more than once, depending on how much of the thread they read. You'd be proud of me OP, I haven't bought a new set of clubs in over a week.
    How many times have you thought about buying a new set of clubs?

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    How many times have you thought about buying a new set of clubs?
    Many times...many times. Too many to count.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Many times...many times. Too many to count.
    Addictions are tough.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Addictions are tough.
    So are flop shots but we have to face them. We can't take the easy road and chip out to safety.

  76. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    So are flop shots but we have to face them. We can't take the easy road and chip out to safety.
    Putt? .

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Putt? .
    How do you putt a shot that needs to be flopped? As a wise man once said "one should never flop unless faced with a situation where a flop is the highest percentage shot to get up and down".

    Here are some more goodies:

    "if you think about your swing when playing then you are not playing golf. You are playing swing"

    "putting is easy until we think about it"

    "the smaller we make the game of golf the easier it becomes".

    "if I tell you you're putt is good pick it up. Nothing looks moronic like a dipsh.it missing a putt after it's given"

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    Putt? .
    How did you get that to post being it's less than 10 characters?
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I know. It may turn out with this thread that I get to surprise people more than once, depending on how much of the thread they read. You'd be proud of me OP, I haven't bought a new set of clubs in over a week.
    Well done.
    You see that is the good thing about only buying what you really like and holding on to most of them as I do. When i feel like playing a different set of irons I just pull out some of my old favorites that i haven't played in a while. I don't have to buy a new set when I get bored with the current ones.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    Ok maybe you're right. But it can still work as a noun/adjective. How many times have you come out of a meeting and said "Wasn't that a bunch of wank!"

    Anyway only an uptight nit picking wanker would be so worked up about this.
    Haha a wanker maybe but I am not uptight about it, I mentioned it for a bit of an intellectual jaunt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    Haha a wanker maybe but I am not uptight about it, I mentioned it for a bit of an intellectual jaunt.
    LOL - intellectual stimulation is what GR is all about!

    It's good to keep those Yank heathens on their toes.
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    LOL - intellectual stimulation is what GR is all about!

    It's good to keep those Yank heathens on their toes.
    Exactly Kiwi. Adding up their tips from the Blue Oyster Bar just doesn't keep their brains active enough.
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldplayer
    Well done.
    You see that is the good thing about only buying what you really like and holding on to most of them as I do. When i feel like playing a different set of irons I just pull out some of my old favorites that i haven't played in a while. I don't have to buy a new set when I get bored with the current ones.
    This is what I have been doing by rotating my three sets of Mizunos. If I go out and have a bad day, I just change out irons. I play the MP-67s the most though.
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

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    [QUOTE=Kiwi Player]
    Quote Originally Posted by Pky6471

    Did you miss the irony in my post per chance?
    Perhaps I did...

  85. #85
    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    Haha a wanker maybe but I am not uptight about it, I mentioned it for a bit of an intellectual jaunt.
    Ok. I stayed up most of last night thinking about this (interrupted every now and then by havin' a wank) and I have reached my conclusion. In the United States it is acceptable to use a verb as a noun in certain situations. For example, here in the US, we call people jerk-offs all the time.
    Ex. "Did you see that pom in the striped shirt and plaid shorts? What a jerk-off!!!" (jagoff is also acceptable)
    Now we all know that "jerk off" is a verb that denotes the act of masturbation, but is used to mean a tool, dick, jerk etc. Much like the word wanker.
    So, in conclusion. The word wanker can be abbreviated to Wank to use as a noun to insult people, but only in the US as it relates to our euphemisms for "punchin' the munchkin." I personally advise against it, as wanker sounds much better.
    If there are any other questions that need answering or debates that need to be settled, please post them in the "ask Dr. Home-slice" thread.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Home-slicer
    Ok. I stayed up most of last night thinking about this (interrupted every now and then by havin' a wank) and I have reached my conclusion. In the United States it is acceptable to use a verb as a noun in certain situations. For example, here in the US, we call people jerk-offs all the time.
    Ex. "Did you see that pom in the striped shirt and plaid shorts? What a jerk-off!!!" (jagoff is also acceptable)
    Now we all know that "jerk off" is a verb that denotes the act of masturbation, but is used to mean a tool, dick, jerk etc. Much like the word wanker.
    So, in conclusion. The word wanker can be abbreviated to Wank to use as a noun to insult people, but only in the US as it relates to our euphemisms for "punchin' the munchkin." I personally advise against it, as wanker sounds much better.
    If there are any other questions that need answering or debates that need to be settled, please post them in the "ask Dr. Home-slice" thread.
    I guess due to my lack of knowledge of American English (Slang) I must bow to your explanation.

    You are correct to say that this doesn't work in England but should add that it doesn't work with the English Language.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pottsy
    I guess due to my lack of knowledge of American English (Slang) I must bow to your explanation.

    You are correct to say that this doesn't work in England but should add that it doesn't work with the English Language.
    Who ever said that the Yanks spoke the English language?
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldplayer
    Who ever said that the Yanks spoke the English language?
    Properly educated Yanks can. Some can even spell it properly whilst making attempts at humour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    Properly educated Yanks can. Some can even spell it properly whilst making attempts at humour.
    I should have said there are some exceptions. My apologies Mongrel.
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I can't believe it. A well-connected friend of mine just called me up and said that he has an extra ticket for me to go to Augusta. This will be my first time there and I'm almost beside myself with joy. I just purchased my air fare. I still can't believe this.
    Well, I checked into my hotel and now I'm at Augusta. I just can't believe how beautiful this place is. I've seen it on TV but it's so much better in person! Can't wait until they get things started. I'll check in later.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Well, I checked into my hotel and now I'm at Augusta. I just can't believe how beautiful this place is. I've seen it on TV but it's so much better in person! Can't wait until they get things started. I'll check in later.
    Why don't you go see if Bubba will let you lick his PING clubs clean for him. I would think that would have to rank up there as one of your top fantasies in life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Well, I checked into my hotel and now I'm at Augusta. I just can't believe how beautiful this place is. I've seen it on TV but it's so much better in person! Can't wait until they get things started. I'll check in later.
    I am told that Augusta is very beautiful around this time of year... Hotel would run $300-$400 a night around there this weekend

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pky6471
    I am told that Augusta is very beautiful around this time of year... Hotel would run $300-$400 a night around there this weekend
    A couple of notes from the practice round:

    1. Lots of guys playing Ping irons.
    2. I just ate a Pamento Cheese sandwhich and a diet coke for $4.00. Who's the moron pricing these sandwiches and who the heck is Pamento? They could easily get $10 for these.
    3. I got some awkward looks after yelling "You Da Man!"
    4. The course doesn't look that tough. I could probably contend if my chipping was better.

    More to come. Can't wait till tomorrow. Sure is hot here. Lots of Waffle Houses.
    Last edited by famousdavis; 04-06-2011 at 01:50 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    A couple of notes from the practice round:

    1. Lots of guys playing Ping irons.
    2. I just ate a Pamento Cheese sandwhich and a diet coke for $4.00. Who's the moron pricing these sandwiches and who the heck is Pamento? They could easily get $10 for these.
    3. I got some awkward looks after yelling "You Da Man!"
    4. The course doesn't look that tough. I could probably contend if my chipping was better.

    More to come. Can't wait till tomorrow. Sure is hot here. Lots of Waffle Houses.
    Say hello to Tin Cup for us.
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    A couple of notes from the practice round:

    1. Lots of guys playing Ping irons.
    2. I just ate a Pamento Cheese sandwhich and a diet coke for $4.00. Who's the moron pricing these sandwiches and who the heck is Pamento? They could easily get $10 for these.
    3. I got some awkward looks after yelling "You Da Man!"
    4. The course doesn't look that tough. I could probably contend if my chipping was better.

    More to come. Can't wait till tomorrow. Sure is hot here. Lots of Waffle Houses.
    FD, how long are you gonna be there, all weekend?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mward2002
    FD, how long are you gonna be there, all weekend?
    I'm going to be here till the very end. My plate is very full with golf during the day, dinner at night and then gambling till the wee hours of the morning. The lads and I shall make a real jag out of it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    I'm going to be here till the very end. My plate is very full with golf during the day, dinner at night and then gambling till the wee hours of the morning. The lads and I shall make a real jag out of it.
    I'll have to meet up with you some time on Sunday then. I'll be getting there right when the gates open, buying a chair, and plopping it down at the 18th green before going for a walk around the place.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mward2002
    I'll have to meet up with you some time on Sunday then. I'll be getting there right when the gates open, buying a chair, and plopping it down at the 18th green before going for a walk around the place.
    MWard, I'm not at Augusta. If you read the entire thread you'd know I'm joking. I'd love to be there though and envy you for being there.

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    Is this Augusta ??? Can someone tell where it is ???
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  100. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pky6471
    Is this Augusta ??? Can someone tell where it is ???
    Can't be sure, but it looks like the Dalmation Coast on the Adriatic.

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