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  1. #1
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    My Accidental Plastic Surgery

    For years I was a serious basketball junkie. In one pick-up game in the '90's, I got elbowed in the nose by a big, awkward, Dirk Nowitski lookalike and ended up with a big hump in the middle of my nose. People would say, 'why don't you get that fixed? but, being Italian, I figured, who cares? I had long since gotten used to it. Last week, I got jumped on the street by two teenagers. I managed to prevail, holding both of them face down on the street until the cops came, but somewhere in there, I got nailed with a full can of beer. So I look in the mirror, and the bump on my nose is gone. I kid you not, it looks just like it did before that basketball game. I am thrilled, though I do have a pulled abdominal muscle and won't be playing golf for a while.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by 24putts View Post
    For years I was a serious basketball junkie. In one pick-up game in the '90's, I got elbowed in the nose by a big, awkward, Dirk Nowitski lookalike and ended up with a big hump in the middle of my nose. People would say, 'why don't you get that fixed? but, being Italian, I figured, who cares? I had long since gotten used to it. Last week, I got jumped on the street by two teenagers. I managed to prevail, holding both of them face down on the street until the cops came, but somewhere in there, I got nailed with a full can of beer. So I look in the mirror, and the bump on my nose is gone. I kid you not, it looks just like it did before that basketball game. I am thrilled, though I do have a pulled abdominal muscle and won't be playing golf for a while.
    My compliments, but as a fellow Italian I'm not surprised by your street fighting ability. There are alot of teenagers running around thinking they're tough because they're with a friend or two and watch MTV. I had to provide a lesson in reality to two of them recently in a Costco parking lot. In my case these weenies folded like cheap suits as soon as I started counter punching them verbally.

    I told them they were lucky, that I actually cared about their welfare. I told them that their generation has been shortchanged, we let them grow up thinking they knew something without having taught them s.hit. That because of that they are the stupidest generation to come along in at least a hundred years.

    Since they seemed to be listening I went on to suggest they change their attitude from what it is to one of wanting to learn everything they can from as many people and resources as they can and if they do that for five years, the world will become their oyster and they will find me wherever I am in the world and thank me and buy me dinner.
    GR lives...

  3. #3
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    Whenever I have a close altercation with another human being I always suggest that we handle it like gentleman and exchange e-mails. We then go our separate ways and at a agreed-upon later date we begin to verbally assault each other through texting. This way you achieve the same level of intensity and rage without the threat of missing that weekend's golf outing due to injury or death. It's quite liberating.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis View Post
    It's quite liberating.
    If you want to know what's liberating, it's the attitude toward teenagers in San Francisco. The cops told me they're not allowed to cuff minors unless there's a death involved.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by 24putts View Post
    If you want to know what's liberating, it's the attitude toward teenagers in San Francisco. The cops told me they're not allowed to cuff minors unless there's a death involved.
    That doesn't surprise me at all with that city. Heck, you can go buy a bag of weed in Oakland and just walk down the street with it. Just don't smoke it near anyone else. That would be second hand smoke and that's bad.

  6. #6
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    Being Italian and all, I would have figured that those two punks would have both needed stitches for the knife wounds. After all, "stiletto" ain't a German word.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel View Post
    Being Italian and all, I would have figured that those two punks would have both needed stitches for the knife wounds. After all, "stiletto" ain't a German word.

    No, my mission is mutual respect and friendship.
    GR lives...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc View Post
    No, my mission is mutual respect and friendship.
    Its easier if you grab them by the balls first and then their hearts and minds will follow.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by 24putts View Post
    For years I was a serious basketball junkie. In one pick-up game in the '90's, I got elbowed in the nose by a big, awkward, Dirk Nowitski lookalike and ended up with a big hump in the middle of my nose. People would say, 'why don't you get that fixed? but, being Italian, I figured, who cares? I had long since gotten used to it. Last week, I got jumped on the street by two teenagers. I managed to prevail, holding both of them face down on the street until the cops came, but somewhere in there, I got nailed with a full can of beer. So I look in the mirror, and the bump on my nose is gone. I kid you not, it looks just like it did before that basketball game. I am thrilled, though I do have a pulled abdominal muscle and won't be playing golf for a while.
    This sucks... U don't see it in China, especially Shanghai.... they will put those criminals or "Junkies" in a labor camp to remember why they should not be there in the first place... USA needs that kind of law enforcement to make this a safer country to live in... CNN reports that USA has 300+ million people but it has more people in jails than China where its population is 1.3+billion people... something is quite wrong with that picture.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 24putts View Post
    If you want to know what's liberating, it's the attitude toward teenagers in San Francisco. The cops told me they're not allowed to cuff minors unless there's a death involved.

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