Skins with strangers, need opinions

[hubijerk]

So, I had something interesting happen today that really hasn't happened to me before, typically when I play skins with friends I kind of tank a bit, I get my share of the $, then I ease up a bit, I don't push and try to get all of it, it's a friendly game and usually I'm quite a bit better then most of my friends though rather than handicap we just play straight up, in other words I feel I conduct myself with honor, I'm not a pig, but I almost always make a few bucks...

Today I was practicing at my track and a threesome drives up and asks if I want to make 4, for a quick 9 (it was late and starting to get dark) "ok" I say, toss my bag on and hop in. I don't know these guys but they look like players. On the first tee they bring up skins and we decide 10$ per a hole is good and we tee off, no other rules are discussed, were playing the blues which makes for a shorter and easier course than I'm use to playing.

1st 3 holes are pushes, then on the 4th my approach ends up on the fringe about 40 ft. away, 2 guys are basically out of the hole, I'm not ready yet so this other guy, honestly the worst player in the group (but probably a solid 9 cap) drains a 15ft. par putt and seems very happy about it... I drain my 40 footer, give a little fist pump and these 3 guys just stand there, the guy who sank his par putt looks like his best pig just died... "It's a half" one guy says... The proceed to explain to me that they give this guy a stroke on this hole, they forgot to tell me they said... So I ask if there are any other special rules, or special strokes given, etc.. they say no...

Ok, so now I'm PISSSSSED, I hold my tongue but it's obvious I'm no longer in a friendly mood, and I proceed to go nuts on these fools, next hole is a par 3 that I stick and make birdie to win 5 skins, then I take the rest in pretty brutal fashion, not saying a word to these guys the whole rest of the round...

As it turns out, from listening to they're conversation 1 of them is an assistant pro at a country club that they don't let people like me into, 1 kid is a college player and aspiring pro, and the other (the guy who got the stroke) is the kid's father.

at the end of the round I took the money, gave them a nod, then drove off without a word... I figure they thought they could hustle me for a few bucks... or maybe I'm just making something out of nothing, was I wrong to act like a jerk and do what I did?
Honestly I was a bit of a jerk after the stroke issue, I didn't do anything to break etiquette, but I was not friendly to these guys at all after that...

[jt1135]

Phuck em. If the guy got a stroke should have been stated before the game started.

[poe4soul]

I'm sure they figured it out. Too bad you didn't press before teeing off on the par 3.

On the flip side, Im not sure I would have paid them Shiat if i lost. "oh, we forgot to tell you. Dip Shiat here gets a pop. Conveniently to cut you..." puck that!

[famousdavis]

The first question to ask on skins is if any strokes are given. Are we playing net or gross?

Another note: If you are playing with your friends and usually taking their money, whilst giving them no strokes, it doesn't sound like you're being a good friend. If they don't play golf as well as you do or as much as you do then you should even out the playing field, if they are your friends.

[huskyhater]

Giving a 'special' stroke to a 9 hcp? When they didn't bring it up before? Got one word for that-CHEATERS!
When I go to a different course and get paired up with someone and they want to play money, I ask their hcp first, tell them mine, and we go from there. But most of the time (been EFFFFFF-ed over a few times by 'baggers) I just politley decline and tell them I'll play them for beer.

[hubijerk]

The first question to ask on skins is if any strokes are given. Are we playing net or gross?

Another note: If you are playing with your friends and usually taking their money, whilst giving them no strokes, it doesn't sound like you're being a good friend. If they don't play golf as well as you do or as much as you do then you should even out the playing field, if they are your friends.

Maybe your right, but I don't do anything with net, never have, and I won't play in any net events... My friends arent 90's shooters, worst one probably averages 80-85 or so, I never bring up $ regardless of who I'm playing with, but I don't say no ever as long as it's straight... I don't play net.

[huskyhater]

Times I've played strangers for money and lost money, they ALWAYS say...........'best round of my life'...........yeah right

[hubijerk]

Times I've played strangers for money and lost money, they ALWAYS say...........'best round of my life'...........yeah right

Yeah, it seemed fishy, but after sleeping on it for a night I think they may have been telling the truth, and just forgot to mention it, that guy did get awfully excited over a par and it did seem like they played together a lot... They seemed kind of embarrassed but rather than talk it out I used my anger, anger usually pushes me up a gear and makes me play better, I focus better... but then again, the hole they gave this guy a stroke on was the 3rd handicap hole... not the 1st... which seems weird I guess, but i have absolutely no experience with capping and how strokes are doled out... But I would imagine they'd give him a stroke on the hardest hole.

[mongrel]

They either intentionally scammed you or unintentionally dissmissed you. I'm glad you took some of their money. I was a regularly at a Sunday morning skins game at a private club and we always played it straight up. Even when a club pro or assistant played with us. No pro ever walked away with any money and we weren't all that good but skins with strokes is a losing proposition for everyone except the chopper who gets the strokes. He will clean your clock every time.

[huskyhater]

Yeah, it seemed fishy, but after sleeping on it for a night I think they may have been telling the truth, and just forgot to mention it, that guy did get awfully excited over a par and it did seem like they played together a lot... They seemed kind of embarrassed but rather than talk it out I used my anger, anger usually pushes me up a gear and makes me play better, I focus better... but then again, the hole they gave this guy a stroke on was the 3rd handicap hole... not the 1st... which seems weird I guess, but i have absolutely no experience with capping and how strokes are doled out... But I would imagine they'd give him a stroke on the hardest hole.

Hubi, you learned a lesson the hard way...when they wanny play for $$$$ and you don't know them ask them what the game is exactly. Sounded like you made up for their BS and kicked their @$$-good for you!

[buddha33]

The first question to ask on skins is if any strokes are given. Are we playing net or gross?

Another note: If you are playing with your friends and usually taking their money, whilst giving them no strokes, it doesn't sound like you're being a good friend. If they don't play golf as well as you do or as much as you do then you should even out the playing field, if they are your friends.

I was just about to type the same thing although I'd take it a step further and say I'd be pissed if I found out my friend was tanking. Either figure out a way to make it fair for everyone (including you playing 100%) or don't play for money at all.

I'll answer Hubi's other question with a question. Do you feel proud of the way you acted? I know you wanted to convey your frustration, but I think you know there are more mature ways of accomplishing that.

[hubijerk]

I was just about to type the same thing although I'd take it a step further and say I'd be pissed if I found out my friend was tanking. Either figure out a way to make it fair for everyone (including you playing 100%) or don't play for money at all.

I'll answer Hubi's other question with a question. Do you feel proud of the way you acted? I know you wanted to convey your frustration, but I think you know there are more mature ways of accomplishing that.

Yeah, I'm not real proud of it, I kinda feel bad.. though 1 of these guys was a pro, and the kid was a solid D1 player, I did kind of act like a child... at the same time it kind of makes me feel like a badass... if I was 20 years old again I'd be like 90% badass 10% guilty, in my ripe old age of 31 I'm probably feeling about 60% badass 40% guilty.... maybe I'm just getting soft...

As far as making it fair, I'm all ears.. it's tough when your giving guys strokes, especially in skins where there's carry overs.. so we may get in a situation where player A get's a stroke on a hole that makes it way easier for him and there are 4 carryovers, plus I'd be in a position to give strokes to the 3 of them, each 9, I'd have a hard time winning a skin shooting under par... why would I play that? I never bring up the idea of playing for $, so I just sort of self regulate, if I had to give everyone strokes on different holes, I'm basically giving money away. We will do things like closest to the pin for beers, chipping, long drives, etc..

[poe4soul]

Yeah, I'm not real proud of it, I kinda feel bad.. though 1 of these guys was a pro, and the kid was a solid D1 player, I did kind of act like a child... at the same time it kind of makes me feel like a badass... if I was 20 years old again I'd be like 90% badass 10% guilty, in my ripe old age of 31 I'm probably feeling about 60% badass 40% guilty.... maybe I'm just getting soft...

As far as making it fair, I'm all ears.. it's tough when your giving guys strokes, especially in skins where there's carry overs.. so we may get in a situation where player A get's a stroke on a hole that makes it way easier for him and there are 4 carryovers, plus I'd be in a position to give strokes to the 3 of them, each 9, I'd have a hard time winning a skin shooting under par... why would I play that? I never bring up the idea of playing for $, so I just sort of self regulate, if I had to give everyone strokes on different holes, I'm basically giving money away. We will do things like closest to the pin for beers, chipping, long drives, etc..

******** to all that have posted negatively. When i play net games with anyone the person keeping score at any given hole before teeing off will say who gets a pop. You being a pickup should have been told on the tee that Mr. 90's shooter gets a pop on this hole. That way you know where you stand.

[buddha33]

Yeah, I'm not real proud of it, I kinda feel bad.. if I was 20 years old again I'd be like 90% badass 10% guilty, in my ripe old age of 31 I'm probably feeling about 60% badass 40% guilty....

This is a good thing; not a bad thing. It's just a sign of maturity and that you have an innate sense to do the right thing. I don't think some people are born or raised with that sense, so appreciate the fact that you have it. I'm just five years older than you, so I'm going through the process too. I tell my kids "you can't control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it." A lot easier to say than do for even an adult sometimes. Nobody's going to blame you for being pissed about the situation. But there's obviously a way to handle it so that you voice your anger but still have the ability to enjoy the round while the others do too.

[Horseballs]

I know what you're saying Hubi, but unless you can find a group where everyone is at the same level, you're going to be dealing with net. When I'm playing with my friends, we always play net skins. Some of the guys are within a few strokes handicap-wise, but there a couple who I've got to give 10-12 strokes to. I find that I rarely win any holes, but tie a ton of them. I usually try to get another bet going, like 666, where I've got a chance to make some of the cash I'm going to be losing in the skins game. We also play closest to the pin on par 3's which gives me a bit of a break, at least statistically. I know I've got to catch a few breaks if I'm going to cash in, but I don't play golf to pay the bills.
The regular Saturday/Sunday game at my club is two person teams with both balls counting on 2 pre-determined holes. There is also a gross skins component, but if there are more than 4 foursomes going out, there might not be any skins awarded. That's a fair game.
If I joined a group who wanted to play for more than a couple bucks a hole, I'd make sure I knew if there were any strokes involved.

[Not a hacker]

If you are ever invited to play for money with a group of guys who look like they are from Singapore or Malaysia and tell you they are 12-14 caps, DO NOT play them off nett. They are huge gamblers on the golf course over there and can out hustle anyone. A 14 cap in Singapore means you can threaten par in a money game. I know pros who have been beayen off the stick by their playing partners in pro ams over there.

[fred3]

Well you've got the "jerk" part of your alias right, "braggart", "small minded" and "simpleton" should be in there too. I think you're whole story is a lie.

[buddha33]

Well you've got the "jerk" part of your alias right, "braggart", "small minded" and "simpleton" should be in there too. I think you're whole story is a lie.

Long time, no see. How have you been?

[hubijerk]

Well you've got the "jerk" part of your alias right, "braggart", "small minded" and "simpleton" should be in there too. I think you're whole story is a lie.

wow, internet tough guy... good for you, guess you probably feel better about yourself now...

[Yaz1975]

wow, internet tough guy... good for you, guess you probably feel better about yourself now...

The only thing I'll say in his defense is:

Your location says that you are in Las Vegas.


Las Vegas.


And you DIDN'T see the possible hustle in this scenario? If you didn't, you deserve whatever outcome you get.

[hubijerk]

The only thing I'll say in his defense is:

Your location says that you are in Las Vegas.


Las Vegas.


And you DIDN'T see the possible hustle in this scenario? If you didn't, you deserve whatever outcome you get.

Of course I realized they thought I was easy money... but what I was curious about was if anyone had experience with similar situations, or how people get strokes, I don't play net in any form and what they claimed may have made some sense, it may have been an honest omission on their part, then again maybe not.. The golf courses seem relatively safe, the bowling alleys I've heard however are a different story.

[poe4soul]

Of course I realized they thought I was easy money... but what I was curious about was if anyone had experience with similar situations, or how people get strokes, I don't play net in any form and what they claimed may have made some sense, it may have been an honest omission on their part, then again maybe not.. The golf courses seem relatively safe, the bowling alleys I've heard however are a different story.

I've already said. They should have told you on the tee that he has a pop. Otherwise you play the golf straight up. If one was a pro then they are cheats. If they were playing net why didn't they ask your HC?

[Kiwi Player]

wow, internet tough guy... good for you, guess you probably feel better about yourself now...

Hubi

Congratulations! A fred3 beatdown is highly sought after here on GR and increasingly rare these days. Well done.

[famousdavis]

Of course I realized they thought I was easy money... but what I was curious about was if anyone had experience with similar situations, or how people get strokes, I don't play net in any form and what they claimed may have made some sense, it may have been an honest omission on their part, then again maybe not.. The golf courses seem relatively safe, the bowling alleys I've heard however are a different story.

If you read your initial post several times you'll see the error in the way you handled it. The brave thing to do would be to have confronted them right at the moment they told you the guy gets a stroke on that hole.

You should have said "no, nobody declared any strokes were given on this hole and you invited me to play in the skins game. We agreed on $10 a hole and you said nothing about any strokes given. Therefore, I win the hole".

If they protested then you say "guys, it's obvious I win the hole. You don't get to make up the rules and strokes given as we go. I don't give a damn what you normally do in your game".

Instead, you were passive-aggressive. You gave them the silent treatment and kept your anger inside and resented them.

It's still bothering you today. However, if you would have confronted the matter right then, when you knew it was wrong, you would be feeling good today.

The majority of the population is passive-aggressive. It's very rare to find a direct person who can look someone in the face and tell them they are wrong. Instead, we harbor ill feelings toward them and it eats away at us. Not good.