heart attack on the course

[Tee'd Off]

Eva wonder when playing on the course if the old ticker is just gonna give out. Golf courses rate 5th in the most likely places to die of a heart attack. It strikes not only the older types but many of the younger ones too! Just read any of the mountain of news stories throoughout the country. So the next time your playing that great round and you feel that thump-thump in the chest....could it be....is this it................play well guys

[Not a hacker]

In Australia our former richest man (died a year or so back) had a heart attack on the course and nearly died back in the 80's, and paid for defibrilators to be put in every ambulance in Sydney, out of his own pocket. He also paid for emergency beacons to be placed around his home course.

[Strick]

With the economy as poor as it is, our course super. required all course employees to obtain a CPR certificate by November 1st this year or face suspension without pay until one is acquired, cause 80% of our play comes from crusty old Yanks and Canucks from Nov.-March. We must also carry our cell phones with us at all times while on duty with 911 programed into speed dial. These new policies are 180* from our old policies. We could never ever carry cell phones while on duty before and if a snowbird went down on the course we'd just let nature take it's course. Can you just imagine trying to give "mouth-to-mouth" to some 87 year old geezer, yuuuuuuuuuck. Not this ole boy.

[Not a hacker]

Hey Strick,

I never knew you were a greens keeper. Have you ever caddied for the Daila Lama?

[Strick]

Hey Strick,

I never knew you were a greens keeper. Have you ever caddied for the Daila Lama?

We gave up caddying a while back. Now it's more like "Driving Miss Daisy". Try playing behind a foursome of "80 somethings" all doing the heel-to-toe march around the golf course, with one of the old women nagging the whole time "Slow down Fred, what's your hurry?"

[edgey]

Hi

About 5 years ago i was a membr of a different golf club. One of the coffin dodgers got to the 10th which was a par 3 169 yards guarded by bunkers at the front and 2 big oaks either side. Hit his shot and collapsed with a massive MI. His 3 playing mates rang the pro 1st, then an ambulance (as a nurse i suspect thats the wrong way round, unless they spotted a problem with his tee shot and wanted to book a lesson..............)

Because of where the hole was the ambulance couldnt get to him for about 15 mins, by which time it was too late. Worst of it was he hit the green and had 35 footer for birdy.

If its your time to go its your time to go and i cant think of many better ways to go when you get to 80 something.

RIP

Edgey

[ProStatus]

With the economy as poor as it is, our course super. required all course employees to obtain a CPR certificate by November 1st this year or face suspension without pay until one is acquired, cause 80% of our play comes from crusty old Yanks and Canucks from Nov.-March. We must also carry our cell phones with us at all times while on duty with 911 programed into speed dial. These new policies are 180* from our old policies. We could never ever carry cell phones while on duty before and if a snowbird went down on the course we'd just let nature take it's course. Can you just imagine trying to give "mouth-to-mouth" to some 87 year old geezer, yuuuuuuuuuck. Not this ole boy.

Ahhh thats phuked up bro...That old geezer could be a rich son of a gun who would give you lump sums of money for giving him the kiss of life. Or his wife would break you off with an old school hand job with both hands at the same time.......lol

[poe4soul]

Bonus if she has parkinson's.

[edgey]

Bonus if she has parkinson's.

Even better if she Alzheimers too. You get wanked and can then stick it up her dirt box and she wont remember a thing 20 mins later

There goes another warning from the mods

Edgey

[Mward2002]

If I go on a course, my last hole before the big one they dig for me had better be under par, or one hell of an up and down. I'll be so pissed off if I make double bogey from the fairway and then drop.

St. Peter would be getting a very stern lecture from me about putting me back, I'm not freakin finished with the rest of my round.

[FreakOfNature]

We gave up caddying a while back. Now it's more like "Driving Miss Daisy". Try playing behind a foursome of "80 somethings" all doing the heel-to-toe march around the golf course, with one of the old women nagging the whole time "Slow down Fred, what's your hurry?"

Been there, done that...

NOT FUN.



FON

[Horseballs]

What else is in the top 5 places to die of a heart attack? Watching Matlock has got to be in the top 3.

[Dyna]

Trappers Turn in Wi Dells has a medical alert button on the GPS console. Push it, they answer & will have paramedics on the way.

[Not a hacker]

What else is in the top 5 places to die of a heart attack? Watching Matlock has got to be in the top 3.

I'd have to hazard a guess that sitting on the crapper with a newspaper in hand would have to rank highly. Trying to squeeze that last nugget out can really raise the blood pressure.

[daveperkins]

We had a guy who drank too much on the front nine and sort of passed out around the eleventh. Older guy. It was very hot. Could have been heat exhaustion plus booze, I guess.

The tales told later grow ever more exquisite. "That back nine took forever! Hit a shot, drag Stan, hit a shot, drag Stan... "

[lorenzoinoc]

What else is in the top 5 places to die of a heart attack? Watching Matlock has got to be in the top 3.

I'm guessing airport is on the list. Worked in an airport medical station in college and saw many MI-s. The worst part was getting to know the signs that the victim, even if fully conscious, was going to die. The best part was guarding the door for one of the nurses who was a necrophiliac. She would occasionally try to get off before the coroner arrived.

Maybe it was her amazing skill, but I learned there can be life after death.

[Horseballs]

I'm guessing airport is on the list. Worked in an airport medical station in college and saw many MI-s. The worst part was getting to know the signs that the victim, even if fully conscious, was going to die. The best part was guarding the door for one of the nurses who was a necrophiliac. She would occasionally try to get off before the coroner arrived.

Maybe it was her amazing skill, but I learned there can be life after death.

So we've got airport, golf course, watching Matlock, and crapper in the top 5. I'll round out the list with playing Bingo. I'm going to say playing a slot machine is a solid #6.

[daveperkins]

What else is in the top 5 places to die of a heart attack? Watching Matlock has got to be in the top 3.

Surely the #1 spot for an 85 yr old would be to be found in bed with a bottle of viagra in one hand and his dikk in the other.

What was it they said? Won't need a headstone, just bury him face up and shallow.

[Horseballs]

Surely the #1 spot for an 85 yr old would be to be found in bed with a bottle of viagra in one hand and his dikk in the other.

What was it they said? Won't need a headstone, just bury him face up and shallow.

85 seems a bit past the stage where Viagra could help. I see lots of old people driving Cadillacs or Buicks. Speaking of cars (notice the segway), my piece of crap Isuzu Trooper's transmission died a couple days ago. $2000 - $2700 repair. I'm basically throwing away a couple grand. If you had $2500 that you had to spend frivolously, what would you spend it on? It has to be golf related (no hooker/coke combo, or paying down a credit card bill).

[Not a hacker]

$2500 US could almost buy a damn golf course here the way our dollar is going. But if you are just talking $2,500 in local currency I would probably use it to pay joining and subs at a decent golf course. Or if I wanted to be really frivilous I'd go out and buy 30 dozen ProV1's and watch them gather dust in my garage.

[poe4soul]

A trip to the sun for a week of golf. It's only November and I'm getting itchy to play in the warm sun.

[lorenzoinoc]

85 seems a bit past the stage where Viagra could help. I see lots of old people driving Cadillacs or Buicks. Speaking of cars (notice the segway), my piece of crap Isuzu Trooper's transmission died a couple days ago. $2000 - $2700 repair. I'm basically throwing away a couple grand. If you had $2500 that you had to spend frivolously, what would you spend it on? It has to be golf related (no hooker/coke combo, or paying down a credit card bill).

Speaking of throwing away money on cars, bailing out the auto industry would have to be the worst use of alot of money ever. Not that the loss of jobs won't be catastrophic, but their failure is inevitable in today's world. Spending big money on something way past it's time doesn't make sense, it'll just keep costing you more and more money. Don't you agree HB?

So who or what else do you think is about to fail miserably?

[Horseballs]

Speaking of throwing away money on cars, bailing out the auto industry would have to be the worst use of alot of money ever. Not that the loss of jobs won't be catastrophic, but their failure is inevitable in today's world. Spending big money on something way past it's time doesn't make sense, it'll just keep costing you more and more money. Don't you agree HB?

So who or what else do you think is about to fail miserably?

I understand and appreciate the irony (edgey won't). I am actually going to test drive some cars this weekend.
I think Sergio is going to fail miserably.

[lorenzoinoc]

I understand and appreciate the irony (edgey won't). I am actually going to test drive some cars this weekend.
I think Sergio is going to fail miserably.

Yeah, if I was around at the time, that might have been my contribution to the well crafted thread on irony. But it was a worthwhile absence. I'm not going to say anything further because the last time I went down that road, you started feeling depressed about your sex life.

[Horseballs]

Yeah, if I was around at the time, that might have been my contribution to the well crafted thread on irony. But it was a worthwhile absence. I'm not going to say anything further because the last time I went down that road, you started feeling depressed about your sex life.

Let me guess... You spent $2500 a lot better than me.

I've got the inlaws coming in town for a week starting tomorrow. Of course they will be staying with us. It's also freezing cold. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I'm getting close.

[lorenzoinoc]

Don't worry, with an infant in the house, it'll be as though you disappeared. For the first time you'll be able to sneak away for 18 holes and your mother-in-law won't even realize you're gone. Trust me on this. If I'm wrong, blame me.

OK, I know I said I wouldn't talk about my absence, so I'll just include a picture of my friend who came with me.

[Horseballs]

Don't worry, with an infant in the house, it'll be as though you disappeared. For the first time you'll be able to sneak away for 18 holes and your mother-in-law won't even realize you're gone. Trust me on this. If I'm wrong, blame me.

OK, I know I said I wouldn't talk about my absence, so I'll just include a picture of my friend who came with me.

You may want to remove the picture. Nice. That's about 180 degrees from me right now. That must be from your Hawaii trip.

Our daughter is just over 8 weeks old, and this will be the 4th separate time the IL's are visiting. I can stand their shrill liberalism for about 3 days, but by the end of the week I'm looking to strangle someone. The weather may take away the golf option.

[lorenzoinoc]

I had the same situation with liberal in-laws. If you can go three days they're either less obnoxious (mine were from NYC) or you're on vicadin. Do what you want, but if I had it to do over again, and I were you, I'd file a missing person report on yourself, head to warm weather for a week, play 5 or 6 rounds, get drunk one night, fall down and hit your head, have a female companion tie you up so you get rope burns on your wrists, and the day after your in-laws leave, come home in torn clothing and claim you were kidnapped but just escaped.

That was a picture (now removed) from the Hawaii trip but on this most recent trip we stayed a little closer to home.

[Horseballs]

I had the same situation with liberal in-laws. If you can go three days they're either less obnoxious (mine were from NYC) or you're on vicadin. Do what you want, but if I had it to do over again, and I were you, I'd file a missing person report on yourself, head to warm weather for a week, play 5 or 6 rounds, get drunk one night, fall down and hit your head, have a female companion tie you up so you get rope burns on your wrists, and the day after your in-laws leave, come home in torn clothing and claim you were kidnapped but just escaped.

That was a picture (now removed) from the Hawaii trip but on this most recent trip we stayed a little closer to home.

I think mine might be more annoying. They are both tenured university professors (in a union) living in Vermont. I'm trying to think of a scenario where someone could be more liberal, but I'm having trouble. It's not that I'm against liberalism (in moderation), it's just that everything is seen through this distorted liberal lens. The hypocrisy is astounding.
I don't hate your idea, but I'm not sure I can put together a plan in such short notice.

[lorenzoinoc]

I think mine might be more annoying. They are both tenured university professors (in a union) living in Vermont. I'm trying to think of a scenario where someone could be more liberal, but I'm having trouble. It's not that I'm against liberalism (in moderation), it's just that everything is seen through this distorted liberal lens. The hypocrisy is astounding.
I don't hate your idea, but I'm not sure I can put together a plan in such short notice.

Holy ivory tower! You win. Think this through carefully. I could help you with the ransom note.

[dorkman53]

I think mine might be more annoying. They are both tenured university professors (in a union) living in Vermont. I'm trying to think of a scenario where someone could be more liberal, but I'm having trouble. It's not that I'm against liberalism (in moderation), it's just that everything is seen through this distorted liberal lens. The hypocrisy is astounding.
I don't hate your idea, but I'm not sure I can put together a plan in such short notice.

I agree that both ends of the political spectrum are "highly selective in the interpretation of facts." When anybody feels that their ideology is "truth" it becomes almost like a cultic religion, where they are right and everybody else is wrong. I have a cousin and an in-law who are rabid liberals, and they annoy everybody around them with their preaching. On the other hand, my father-in-law is a right winger, somewhere between Rush Limbaugh and Attila the Hun. I don't enjoy the rantings of either the right wing or the left wing.

[daveperkins]

if I wanted to be really frivilous I'd go out and buy 30 dozen ProV1's and watch them gather dust in my garage.

If you wanted to be REALLY 'frivilous', you'd buy a dictionary and learn how to spell FRIVOLOUS!

HAH HAAAH, Daveperk is BACK baby!

[lorenzoinoc]

Alright, Dave, I'm fynilly cunvinsed itz yew.

[Kiwi Player]

Alright, Dave, I'm fynilly cunvinsed itz yew.

That's a clever NZ accent you're putting on there.

[daveperkins]

That's a clever NZ accent you're putting on there.

I was leaning Welsh, but I"ll take your word for it...

[BrianMcG]

At two golf courses I worked at, three people died. Two were on the golf course, one was in the crapper in the locker room. All of them had a heart attack.

[Not a hacker]

If you wanted to be REALLY 'frivilous', you'd buy a dictionary and learn how to spell FRIVOLOUS!

HAH HAAAH, Daveperk is BACK baby!

Back to your anally retentive best big fella. I can't be sure if it was a typo or genuine spelling mistake as you will note i and o next to each other on the keyboard, and forums don't have spell check. But I'm willing to take this one on the chin as a spelling mistake on this occassion, so ya got me. And who am I to rain on such exhuberance on your part

[Home-slicer]

I think mine might be more annoying. They are both tenured university professors (in a union) living in Vermont. I'm trying to think of a scenario where someone could be more liberal, but I'm having trouble. It's not that I'm against liberalism (in moderation), it's just that everything is seen through this distorted liberal lens. The hypocrisy is astounding.

You just sent me into flashbacks. Sounds identicle to my ex inlaws. New England, univ. professors, ivory towers, the whole 9. I'm assuming the fruit fell a little farther from the tree in the case of your wife. In my case it didn't, hence the "ex".