Some new golf terms to use when you're out on the course...

[noshuz]

A 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

A 'Saddam Hussein' - from one bunker into another.

A 'Yasser Arafat' - butt ugly and in the sand.

A 'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water.

A 'Rodney King' - over-clubbed.

An 'O.J.'- got away with one.

A 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver.

A 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver.

A 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good.

A 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole.

A 'Rush Limbaugh' - a little to the right.

A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds.

A 'James Joyce' - a putt that's impossible to read.

A 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out.

A 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist.

A 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees.

A 'Paris Hilton' - a very expensive hole.>>

[Ty_Webb]

A 'Dennis Wise' - a nasty five footer (probably only means anything to the Brit posters)

A 't1t-licker' - opens up the hole nicely

A 'Blondie' - a fair crack down the middle

A 'Sally Gunnell' - ugly but it runs well

An 'Elephant's arsehole' - it's high and it stinks

[famousdavis]

A 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

A 'Saddam Hussein' - from one bunker into another.

A 'Yasser Arafat' - butt ugly and in the sand.

A 'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water.

A 'Rodney King' - over-clubbed.

An 'O.J.'- got away with one.

A 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver.

A 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver.

A 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good.

A 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole.

A 'Rush Limbaugh' - a little to the right.

A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds.

A 'James Joyce' - a putt that's impossible to read.

A 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out.

A 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist.

A 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees.

A 'Paris Hilton' - a very expensive hole.>>

Lame thread. You have too much time on your hands. So lame.

[lorenzoinoc]

Gotta correct you about a "Ted Kennedy". It's simply a drive into the water.

[Kiwi Player]

Shuz those are exellent as are the contributions from Ty Webb. Just too many to remember. I'll have to pick out a few favorites to remember on the course!

[oldplayer]

My favorite has always been the f ucking your sister shot: It's up there but your not proud of it.

[noshuz]

My favorite has always been the f ucking your sister shot: It's up there but your not proud of it.

HA! Good one! That reminds me of the definition of "relative humidity". It's when the sweat off yer balls runs down into the crack of your sister in laws a.ss.....

[Ty_Webb]

My favorite has always been the f ucking your sister shot: It's up there but your not proud of it.

Good one. I always heard that as a "sister-in-law" - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be.

[noshuz]

Lame thread. You have too much time on your hands. So lame.

FDB, For not being the sharpest tool in the shed you sure have a lot of anger don't you?

[connecticutter]

Well played. This reminds me of what I call the infamous 7-2 off suit hand in poker. The Heath Ledger, because it always ends up face down.

[BURNDOG]

Brilliant... I'll struggle remembering them... some of thesebeauties will get some air time from BD

the elephants arsehole one is excellent....

[dorkman53]

The problems is that we are simply running out of idioms. Read this stark and sobering report on the crisis:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ves_nation_all

[Not a hacker]

All gold. I wish I could remember them all.

[poe4soul]

monica lewinsky - a putt that is all lip but no hole.

[Not a hacker]

My favourite from the list is the Rodney King. I almost want to hit one over the green this Saturday just so I can use it.

[Horseballs]

How about an MMA? A shot that looks like it could be good, but winds up 69 feet from the pin.

[mentaloaf]

How about an MMA? A shot that looks like it could be good, but winds up 69 feet from the pin.

Totally baffled why you are so anti MMA HB. Really weird how you look at a fight and all you can think is about gay sh it like 69 and dry humping. I mean honestly, is that all you see in an MMA fight is "wow look how gay those guys are..."? WTF? explain yourself please

[SoonerBS]

Totally baffled why you are so anti MMA HB. Really weird how you look at a fight and all you can think is about gay sh it like 69 and dry humping. I mean honestly, is that all you see in an MMA fight is "wow look how gay those guys are..."? WTF? explain yourself please

mentaloaf, most everyone on GR has some characteristics that define who they are and what they have been known by. Lorenzo is the local "love doctor" and knows everything about relationships -- including how to fail at them. OldPlayer is obviously the most knowledgeable on here whenever it comes to equipment. Dorkman is the local grammar and spelling Nazi. I could go on and on, but whenever it comes to HB, he is our local pessimist. It's his job to piss all over everything anybody posts.

[Horseballs]

mentaloaf, most everyone on GR has some characteristics that define who they are and what they have been known by. Lorenzo is the local "love doctor" and knows everything about relationships -- including how to fail at them. OldPlayer is obviously the most knowledgeable on here whenever it comes to equipment. Dorkman is the local grammar and spelling Nazi. I could go on and on, but whenever it comes to HB, he is our local pessimist. It's his job to piss all over everything anybody posts.

Exactly. Duaxy is GR's local idiot who can't figure out his iPhone and mentaloaf is the guy who hasn't yet figured out GR.

[lorenzoinoc]

mentaloaf, most everyone on GR has some characteristics that define who they are and what they have been known by. Lorenzo is the local "love doctor" and knows everything about relationships -- including how to fail at them. OldPlayer is obviously the most knowledgeable on here whenever it comes to equipment. Dorkman is the local grammar and spelling Nazi. I could go on and on, but whenever it comes to HB, he is our local pessimist. It's his job to piss all over everything anybody posts.

Just to make something clear. I choose when and how to fail at them. Nobody decides that for Lorenzo. I am the master of my choices. And my choices aren't made to please others. My chains of repression were broken when I was in the crib.

It pains me to see those still shackled. I've encountered people that counsel others professionally before. So much sexual frustration.,,, That guy that went off at Fort Hood was a psychiatrist. Makes complete sense.

[Kiwi Player]

What you have to realise Mentaloaf is that we are not singling out MMA. When I was at school we had a guy that was an amatuer wrestling champion, he won a gold medal at the Junior Olympics. We all respected him until we saw the real Olympics on TV later that year and saw the sport of amatuer wrestling for what it really was. Any activity involving all that man on man cuddling, semi naked dry humping, 69'ing, lying on top of each other etc was met with immediate and universal disapproval. There is even a penalty in wrestling where you virtually have to submit 'Deliverance' style while the other wrestler mounts you from behind. We were testosterone filled young men barely out of puberty and almost as homophobic as Pingman360. We all perceived this sport to be totally fa.ggy. Although we were careful to say this out of earshot of the champion wrestler as he was one tough hombre who would go pig hunting with his bare hands in his spare time.

So when I watch MMA and I see the same man on man cuddling/dry humping/69'ing action mixed in with a few wild, amatuerish looking punches and kicks it just doesn't appeal. I guess at a subconscious level it may also strike at the fear of being pinned down and forced into submission 'Deliverance' style that is deep rooted in all hetero-sexual males.

[TexasJeff]

I told my friend the Rock Hudson one while we were putting in my living room the other night and he nearly pissed himself laughing. Good shite man.

[The Purist]

Just to make something clear. I choose when and how to fail at them. Nobody decides that for Lorenzo. I am the master of my choices. And my choices aren't made to please others.

HAHA...Sometimes you win and lose with your decisions. I think having kids probably dooms marriages more than any other factor. I love my kids, but they put a ton of stress on a marriage. Its just like business...Partnerships rarely work because one or both partners will perceive themselves to be putting in more work/ bigger influence than the other. You may really like your partner as a person, but that doesn't mean you like his/her strategies & philosophies on running a business.

[Kiwi Player]

How about an MMA? A shot that looks like it could be good, but winds up 69 feet from the pin.

I thought an MMA was a drive you think you've bombed down the middle but it hits a dry hump and takes a bad kick into the rough.

[lorenzoinoc]

HAHA...Sometimes you win and lose with your decisions. I think having kids probably dooms marriages more than any other factor. I love my kids, but they put a ton of stress on a marriage. Its just like business...Partnerships rarely work because one or both partners will perceive themselves to be putting in more work/ bigger influence than the other. You may really like your partner as a person, but that doesn't mean you like his/her strategies & philosophies on running a business.

I agree. And until you're there you can't predict the outcome.

[Horseballs]

What you have to realise Mentaloaf is that we are not singling out MMA. When I was at school we had a guy that was an amatuer wrestling champion, he won a gold medal at the Junior Olympics. We all respected him until we saw the real Olympics on TV later that year and saw the sport of amatuer wrestling for what it really was. Any activity involving all that man on man cuddling, semi naked dry humping, 69'ing, lying on top of each other etc was met with immediate and universal disapproval. There is even a penalty in wrestling where you virtually have to submit 'Deliverance' style while the other wrestler mounts you from behind. We were testosterone filled young men barely out of puberty and almost as homophobic as Pingman360. We all perceived this sport to be totally fa.ggy. Although we were careful to say this out of earshot of the champion wrestler as he was one tough hombre who would go pig hunting with his bare hands in his spare time.

So when I watch MMA and I see the same man on man cuddling/dry humping/69'ing action mixed in with a few wild, amatuerish looking punches and kicks it just doesn't appeal. I guess at a subconscious level it may also strike at the fear of being pinned down and forced into submission 'Deliverance' style that is deep rooted in all hetero-sexual males.

This is a masterpiece.

[mentaloaf]

mentaloaf, most everyone on GR has some characteristics that define who they are and what they have been known by. Lorenzo is the local "love doctor" and knows everything about relationships -- including how to fail at them. OldPlayer is obviously the most knowledgeable on here whenever it comes to equipment. Dorkman is the local grammar and spelling Nazi. I could go on and on, but whenever it comes to HB, he is our local pessimist. It's his job to piss all over everything anybody posts.

Got it....I sure wish Larry was here to back me up on the MMA argument and give me some advice on which shafts to use or how to hone my swing ......... life kinda sucks without Larry

[noshuz]

Got it....I sure wish Larry was here to back me up on the MMA argument and give me some advice on which shafts to use or how to hone my swing ......... life kinda sucks without Larry

He's over on the non golf side Of the forum vomiting today.....

[mentaloaf]

This is a masterpiece.

Very well put Kiwi, homophobia and the fear of being gay yourself would definitely make you think twice about watching or even participating in any kind of combat sport. So if you do participate you are either just flat out flaming, or you REALLY know that you're NOT gay. Anything in between, which it sounds like you and Horseballs are, and it would make you pretty uncomfortable to watch much less participate. My only disagreement is the "amateurish" looking punches. Did you see that knockout blow? You call that amateurish?

Check this guy out Kiwi, he should make you proud, he's a Maori from Aotearoa that has fought at the highest level. He lives and fights in England now. He has also been knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko

http://www.sherdog.com/fighter/Mark-Hunt-10668

[lorenzoinoc]

Very well put Kiwi, homophobia and the fear of being gay yourself would definitely make you think twice about watching or even participating in any kind of combat sport. So if you do participate you are either just flat out flaming, or you REALLY know that you're NOT gay. Anything in between, which it sounds like you and Horseballs are, and it would make you pretty uncomfortable to watch much less participate. My only disagreement is the "amateurish" looking punches. Did you see that knockout blow? You call that amateurish?

Check this guy out Kiwi, he should make you proud, he's a Maori from Aotearoa that has fought at the highest level. He lives and fights in England now. He has also been knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko

http://www.sherdog.com/fighter/Mark-Hunt-10668

It's always reaffirming when a GR member is able to understand and express truth. I've come to trust that your level of insight far exceeds that of mid-westerners and New Zealanders.

[Kiwi Player]

Very well put Kiwi, homophobia and the fear of being gay yourself would definitely make you think twice about watching or even participating in any kind of combat sport. So if you do participate you are either just flat out flaming, or you REALLY know that you're NOT gay. Anything in between, which it sounds like you and Horseballs are, and it would make you pretty uncomfortable to watch much less participate. My only disagreement is the "amateurish" looking punches. Did you see that knockout blow? You call that amateurish?

Check this guy out Kiwi, he should make you proud, he's a Maori from Aotearoa that has fought at the highest level. He lives and fights in England now. He has also been knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko

http://www.sherdog.com/fighter/Mark-Hunt-10668

As I've said I participated in Muay Thai when I was young and stupid but apart from a brief flirtation with judo I have never really participated in any kind of grappling sport. I know a few guys I used to train with that crossed over to that MMA stuff but even if I was still young and stupid you'd never catch me trying that. The only dry humping I've ever liked is with a girl on a first date when you know you're not going to get a home run.

[SoonerBS]

Totally baffled why you are so anti MMA HB. Really weird how you look at a fight and all you can think is about gay sh it like 69 and dry humping. I mean honestly, is that all you see in an MMA fight is "wow look how gay those guys are..."? WTF? explain yourself please

Why does this quote remind me of a scene out of the movie, "Borat?" I was hoping I would never have remembrances of that scene ever again . . . . . .

[Kiwi Player]

Why does this quote remind me of a scene out of the movie, "Borat?" I was hoping I would never have remembrances of that scene ever again . . . . . .

If that scene haunts you Sooner I implore you to NEVER watch MMA. It is just one long endless Borat fight scene. At least until one guy has had enough of having another guys butt in his face and submits.

[maxfli55]

2 from our group :

" A Garcia ".....any triple bogey......name derived from " Captain Trips " himself
" A Weird Al ".....any shot " Yanked to the left "