SuperMatch I - IG vs. The master @ Portstewart

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

OK - its SuperMatch week.

The young, brash, cocky master vs. the seasoned, well-traveled Irishgolfer.

First a look at the course from a couple of angles....

http://www.golfeurope.com/clubs/portstewart/

http://carrgolf.fusio.net/golf/irela...=3&courseID=95

http://www.golftravelireland.net/mes...sp?topicID=100

First, as to the greens fees. Looks like 85 pounds....a hefty sum.

1) Will master pay his own fees?

2) Next, how many holes will they play?

3) The weather is turning colder and clearer at the end of the week. Who has the best cold weather game???

My Christmas money is still on IG. Ten pounds.....

**dorkman53** · 11-15-2004

Will this be covered on ESPN, USA, ABC, or The Golf Channel?

**onetime** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by dorkman53

Will this be covered on ESPN, USA, ABC, or The Golf Channel?

It really should have been a Roscoekast.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

We Do need coverage somehow...

Perhaps IG could get a friend (or maybe master's dad) to come along and take a few pictures in mid-swing.

A Roscoekast would have been awesome....

**Irishgolfer** · 11-15-2004

Guys

It is all in hand. The Master (or at least his dad) has been given travel directions (he has a 160 mile drive there and back, now that's dedication both from the Master and Master's dad), I have booked the tee for 11am, and although the forecast is cold, it looks like it could be dry.

It's just a pity my game went South yesterday. I'll be looking for inspirational swing thoughts from you guys come Friday to turn my form round. I am even staying off the alcohol on Saturday night (well, maybe just a few to loosen me up!)

The course is in good shape, except for the rough. There is a (what's the family name for badgers?) badger plague which has been a problem for the past few months. They have torn up the rough in search of insects. It means free drops if you hit the rough in parts. It never affects me as I am never in the rough, but The Master should benefit from the relief available. The greens are excellent for this time of year.

As for the action, it will be documented on digital CCD. I am borrowing the wife's Olympus which should capture the moment(s) splendidly. It can take quick movies as well, enough to see the Master's swing in all its glory. I will also write a match report (win, XXXX or draw) and this will be verified by The Master.

And as for "my" Turkey? It's crapping itself!! The axe commeth Sunday. I'm like the Turkey equivalent of the Grim Reaper. Remember The Master I have a big family to feed, so Go Large in the supermarket.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

IG:

Are your certain you have a badger problem? More than likely - it's gophers. And if that is the case - Carl Spackler is your man. We'll have him report for duty this week.

Don't let me down this week.

Will you be able to complete 18 holes of play if you tee off at 11am?

**Irishgolfer** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by Bravo35223

IG:

Are your certain you have a badger problem? More than likely - it's gophers. And if that is the case - Carl Spackler is your man. We'll have him report for duty this week.

Don't let me down this week.

Will you be able to complete 18 holes of play if you tee off at 11am?

No problem re. light. It gets dark here about 4.40pm. By that stage I will be on my 3rd pint of Guinness (and The Master will be on his 2nd Coke) with me celebrating the capture of Christmas dinner and The Master contemplating golf at a real golf course.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

You're right a real golf course for real players like yself you're still in fantasy land IG the match is mine I was bombing my driver averaging 280 in real golf conditions cold windy weather and my iron play was majestic ive never played a links golf course but am still confident the match is mine.

**NickP** · 11-15-2004

The Master is a picture of confidence while IG sounds slightly shaky. The plot is thickening!

**BartendingLefty** · 11-15-2004

Master, I'll be sure to send my girlfriend over there to laugh at you and your meltdown as you are forced to hand over dinner for IG family. I don't bet in pounds, but I'd put $50 on IG.

(awaiting trash talking about my girlfriend and ignoring it ahead of time.. we had some wild monkey sex last night.. heh)

**The master** · 11-15-2004

BTL I will go over to America to watch fail shoot a easy 156 in you're next PAT test anyone who can't shot 156 for two rounds doesn't deserve to be a pro I gurantee if you came to Ireland to play real golf you wouldn't stand a chance against me.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

ive never played a links golf course but am still confident the match is mine.

Hmmm...now this is interesting...I may want to increase my wager on IG.

The plot thickens.

**Montagle** · 11-15-2004

Well, she does look like a monkey, albeit one from the wilds of West Virginia.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

We all know that Montagle she also looks like a rat BTL must be blind.

**Montagle** · 11-15-2004

"Biggest Rat this side of Christmas" is what I heard. Still laughing over that. It does not make you as funny as Buddha thinks you are though.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

Trust me I could be funnier but I mite start to offend people so I wont. Monty are you starting to worry incase I steal you're role as the class comedian.

**Montagle** · 11-15-2004

No, I don't want to be the class comedian. I would rather be house cynic or just plain old sarcastic bastard. You can have class comedian. You need to be a touch wittier first though.

Also, I am yet in my life to see anyone win a match that they talked up too much beforehand. Be humble, let your clubs do the talking. That's what I would do.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

I will need to give them a rest before my match with IG as they will be doing a lot of talking then they might even need a new voice boxafter the match when I win.

**onetime** · 11-15-2004

Just remember MasterB, Roscoe talked about taking the paco cup home before the match took place. We all know how that ended.

IG will win 4 and 3. You heard it here first.

By the way BTL, can you post some pictures of you and the monkey having sex? Then again I just ate lunch.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by onetime

Just remember MasterB, Roscoe talked about taking the paco cup home before the match took place. We all know how that ended.

IG will win 4 and 3. You heard it here first.

By the way BTL, can you post some pictures of you and the monkey having sex? Then again I just ate lunch.

I suggested they play Medal. Don't know what they have decided though.

Be careful what you wish for on the pix...you may get your wish.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

I think we are playing match play all matches should be matchplay you don't see the ryder cup, presidents cup or walker cup being medal it's going to have to be a matchplay.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I think we are playing match play all matches should be matchplay you don't see the ryder cup, presidents cup or walker cup being medal it's going to have to be a matchplay.

There is a distinct advantage to medal.

If someone has a huge blowup hole - they pay for it. If you take a snowman you count each stroke - not simply loss of hole. One player can shoot a 77 and beat the other player who shoots a 75.

Obviously it is up to you on your format though.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by Bravo35223

There is a distinct advantage to medal.

If someone has a huge blowup hole - they pay for it. If you take a snowman you count each stroke - not simply loss of hole. One player can shoot a 77 and beat the other player who shoots a 75.

Obviously it is up to you on your format though.

What you're saying is true Bravo but since ive never played links or portstewart golf club i should chose and I think matchplay would be to my advatage.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

What you're saying is true Bravo but since ive never played links or portstewart golf club i should chose and I think matchplay would be to my advatage.

You are changing your tune suddenly as The Match draws nearer.

All previous posts have been Boasts about how you are going to beat IG sideways, destroy him on the course, what do you play of, etc.

Now you are asking for a playing format that favors your advantage.

What has happened to the Awesome Master Confidence??

**The master** · 11-15-2004

I am still going to beat IG sideways but when you're playing course you've never seen medal is going to be slightly harder than matchplay I am still confident that im going to win if its matchplay im a cert to win.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I am still going to beat IG sideways but when you're playing course you've never seen medal is going to be slightly harder than matchplay I am still confident that im going to win if its matchplay im a cert to win.

I am confident in your skills also.

The gentlemanly thing to do is to offer to play Medal with him. After all, he is much older than you, with a young family. Having wee rugrats around is very tiring...He also has job pressures and many other issues than don't weigh on your mind. You are free as a bird. Your mind is unfettered with the issues of the day. Conversely - he carries the mantle of middle age with him like an albatross.

You have an enourmous physical advantage and I am certain you will be bombing your drives past him 30-40 yards. Especially when you get the wind at your back.

You will do the right thing.

**The master** · 11-15-2004

I doubt I will be hitting it that much past him his drive on shottalk went 240-260 I would averade 250 so we will probably be similar in distance I am small for my age. I will play medal if he wants it really doesn't matter to me I will still win maybe just not as much as I would in matchplay.

**Classic** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I doubt I will be hitting it that much past him his drive on shottalk went 240-260 I would averade 250 so we will probably be similar in distance I am small for my age. I will play medal if he wants it really doesn't matter to me I will still win maybe just not as much as I would in matchplay.

Dude, stop fronting. My money's on the fact that you suck.

**NickP** · 11-15-2004

Have IG and the Master seen each other play? They both claim they can beat each other pretty handily. What gives?

**onetime** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by NickP

Have IG and the Master seen each other play? They both claim they can beat each other pretty handily. What gives?

IG is a known child molester. He has invited this young male, masterb, (he is either 15, 16, or 17) to a round of golf. MasterB has no idea what he is in for.

MasterB, you best be careful when you bend over to get the ball outa the cup. I guess you never heard that you should never meet up with anyone that you talk to on the internet.
Well known fact.

**Bravo35223** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by NickP

Have IG and the Master seen each other play? They both claim they can beat each other pretty handily. What gives?

They've never met. They live 80 miles apart in Ireland and are getting together for the first time on Sunday of this week for The Match.....

Who do you have your money on?

At the end of the week, I am going to do some bookmaking here and establish some odds...

**The master** · 11-15-2004

Im just full of mysel and rude but thats just my demiener I know Irish Golfer is not a child moloster and if he was it wouldn't matter because im not a child. And we live in Northern Ireland 160 miles apart and I don't suck classic you're just jealous because you don't have game the match is signed sealed and dilivered already I will win.

**NickP** · 11-15-2004

Who do you have your money on?

Hmm, Chld Molestor v. an almost grown up at a golf match? Difficult but I don't know why I am leaning towards IG!

**The master** · 11-15-2004

Who ever started saying IG is a child molestor stop it he is not a child molester im freakin 16 we are just having a golf match which im going to win.

**KiltedArab** · 11-15-2004

Originally Posted by The master

Who ever started saying IG is a child molestor stop it he is not a child molester im freakin 16 we are just having a golf match which im going to win.

16 is a child.

What I don't understand is how someone who says they are an excellent and keen golfer who lives in Ireland - has never played a links course? wtf?

**The master** · 11-16-2004

The closest links course to me is kirkiston which is about an hour away just never got around to playing it the next closest prostewart 160 miles. Where I live is all parkland and I have played every course in the area.

**Irishgolfer** · 11-16-2004

I better chime in here. Preparations are going well. I was out last night practicing my 74 yards bunker shots and flop shots off a hanging lie. I got my swing computer analysed and the results were sent to Adam Scott for him to take notes.

Looks like its going to be a cold one on Sunday. You should bring the following gear The Master.

Waterproof suit / bring an extra one in case it is cold
2 wooley hats and a baseball hat (for the low sun in the sky)
3 sweaters
Roll top / polo neck sweater
Thermal Vest and Long Johns
2 pairs of chinos
(by the way these should all be co-ordinated!!)
3 pairs of socks (at least one thermal)
Waterproof shoes (bring metal spikes and soft spikes)
2 pairs of gloves / mittens
At least 3 golf gloves
2 towels
A map
A compass
A GPS system
A mobile phone
Some energy drinks
Some fruit (banana / apple / pineapple / coconut etc.)
Some chocolate and high energy bars (I prefer Snickers)
At least 24 ProV1s - obviously new

And if you have any room after that, bring your clubs.

**The master** · 11-16-2004

Where in the dark where you practicing 74 yrd bunker shots. I will bring my tour bag so I will have more room for those items. My dad knows how to get there he says he has seen it before I was at the range last night hitting a few low shots incase it's windy mre than likely it will be I was nailing the driver I shorted my swing I just relised I weas overswinging last might it's nowe sorted you're in for a real punishment.

**Mikalion** · 11-16-2004

what a waste of a thread. id actually be interested if they were having a real match instead of some dumb imaginary 1.

TT gfg

**onetime** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by Irishgolfer

I better chime in here. Preparations are going well. I was out last night practicing my 74 yards bunker shots and flop shots off a hanging lie. I got my swing computer analysed and the results were sent to Adam Scott for him to take notes.

Looks like its going to be a cold one on Sunday. You should bring the following gear The Master.

Waterproof suit / bring an extra one in case it is cold
2 wooley hats and a baseball hat (for the low sun in the sky)
3 sweaters
Roll top / polo neck sweater
Thermal Vest and Long Johns
2 pairs of chinos
(by the way these should all be co-ordinated!!)
3 pairs of socks (at least one thermal)
Waterproof shoes (bring metal spikes and soft spikes)
2 pairs of gloves / mittens
At least 3 golf gloves
2 towels
A map
A compass
A GPS system
A mobile phone
Some energy drinks
Some fruit (banana / apple / pineapple / coconut etc.)
Some chocolate and high energy bars (I prefer Snickers)
At least 24 ProV1s - obviously new

And if you have any room after that, bring your clubs.

You forgot the condoms. Please practice safe sex with him.

**Bravo35223** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by Irishgolfer

I better chime in here. Preparations are going well. I was out last night practicing my 74 yards bunker shots and flop shots off a hanging lie. I got my swing computer analysed and the results were sent to Adam Scott for him to take notes.

Looks like its going to be a cold one on Sunday. You should bring the following gear The Master.

Waterproof suit / bring an extra one in case it is cold
2 wooley hats and a baseball hat (for the low sun in the sky)
3 sweaters
Roll top / polo neck sweater
Thermal Vest and Long Johns
2 pairs of chinos
(by the way these should all be co-ordinated!!)
3 pairs of socks (at least one thermal)
Waterproof shoes (bring metal spikes and soft spikes)
2 pairs of gloves / mittens
At least 3 golf gloves
2 towels
A map
A compass
A GPS system
A mobile phone
Some energy drinks
Some fruit (banana / apple / pineapple / coconut etc.)
Some chocolate and high energy bars (I prefer Snickers)
At least 24 ProV1s - obviously new

And if you have any room after that, bring your clubs.

He also will need a golf ball retriever and you will need some cranberry dressing...

**Irishgolfer** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by Bravo35223

He also will need a golf ball retriever and you will need some cranberry dressing...

I knew I forgot something. Please stuff a 30lb turkey into your Tour Bag as well The Master. I prefer fresh, but frozen will do.

**buddha33** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I shorted my swing I just relised I weas overswinging last might it's nowe sorted you're in for a real punishment.

You need to go into this match with full confidence, The master. Don't go tweaking things in your swing that might affect this, including your spelling and grammar. These things are essential to maintaining the true essence of The master.

**The master** · 11-16-2004

Don't worry buddha ive been to the range ever night the past couple of weeks the swing changes are felling good ive gained 10-15 yrds on my drives. IG do you want me to get you a turkey and you can give me them money for it and mine when I win because I know you said you didn't want to go into tesco's and buy one.

**Bravo35223** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by The master

and you can give me them oney for it and mine when I win because I know you said you didn't want to go into tesco's and buy one.

Buddha:

Will you translate please?

**The master** · 11-16-2004

Why bravo do you speak a different language.

**Gupta** · 11-16-2004

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

**The master** · 11-16-2004

Keep out of this gupta.

**Bravo35223** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by Gupta

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

Very very cleva....

How much do you have riding on IG this Sunday?

**The master** · 11-16-2004

I idn't know you were taking beats on people getting beat. In that case £50 on IG

**NickP** · 11-16-2004

I shorted my swing I just relised I weas overswinging

The Master, it is too late to go into swing changes. I feel a slight uneasiness on your part. A solid swing will be crucial to your lifting the trophy but having double or triple minds about your swing can be a disaster. I think IG is going to jump up on you early! (No pun intended)

**The master** · 11-16-2004

I started making them a while back my swing is just starting to fell good with the changes im going to the range again tonight.

**Irishgolfer** · 11-16-2004

The Master

I suggest you go to the range tonight and hit balls till you hands bleed. Swing changes 5 days before a big game is risky business. Only blood will convince your mind that the changes are working.

**The master** · 11-16-2004

I started changing my swing after the club championship in september so the changes have already taken effect I was just shortening my swing and making a better shoulder turn. Im just going to the range to night to try and get a reapeatable swing with the new changes and play a few low shots as I might need them at portstewart.

**buddha33** · 11-16-2004

Originally Posted by Bravo35223

Buddha:

Will you translate please?

I'm afrade someone hav eto translate your question. I don't undrstand.

**The master** · 11-16-2004

Just got back from the range the swing felt good I was hitting some pretty nifty punch shots just what I will hit into the 15th a portstewart to clinch the match.

**Bravo35223** · 11-17-2004

master:

Tell about your trip on Sunday morning. Looks like you will be going to the extreme northernmost area of Northern Ireland.

How far of a trip, how long will it take???

**dorkman53** · 11-17-2004

We should set up a pool, or at least a poll.
Opinions:
1. Will the fabled match actually be played?
2. If not, what will be the excuse? Car trouble, wrong directions to course, inclement weather, kidnapped by malicious leprechauns?

**Bravo35223** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by dorkman53

We should set up a pool, or at least a poll.
Opinions:
1. Will the fabled match actually be played?
2. If not, what will be the excuse? Car trouble, wrong directions to course, inclement weather, kidnapped by malicious leprechauns?

OK - being the optimist that I am - I will vote here and say that the match will actually be played and that The master's old man will get him there on time, etc.

Maybe I am gullible though...

**Irishgolfer** · 11-17-2004

The Master's dad has a 90 (ish) mile drive to Portstewart from Bangor. He should leave at 9am to ensure he has enough time for a warm up. As I said for every minute he is late he is conceding a hole.
He shall require a trailer for the car to fit The Master's Tour Bag et al.
Forecast for Sunday is for rain, but milder. http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml. If it is persistent heavy rain, we shall agree by mutual consent on Saturday night to postpone the game to another date, this side of Christmas. I do play in rain as does The Master but we're not masochists, right?
Although I could walk to the club, I am bringing my car to pick up the turkey
I shall speak to The Master tomorrow for the first time for final arrangements.
His mom and dad are shopping for the turkey while the match is going on (Tescos is a local supermarket / grocery store). Remeber its a 30lb bird!
When I win I shall be speaking to the Master's parents afterwards about taking English lessons as a further forfeit to all GR readers.
A full match report with pictures will be posted by me, win XXXX or draw, shortly after the game.

I'm off to practice my Stinger shot and taking off some of the spin from my wedges. I'm backing those babies up by about 10 yards.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

They will not be shopping for a turkey for you they will be getting some christmas presents for me I could use proper English if I could be bothered but I couldn't so it will not be nessecary to tell them about my poor English they are also not letting me go to the range tonigth because ive been most nights for the past 2 weeks.IG phone me at about 4 because I don't usualy get in from school to 3.45.

**KiltedArab** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I could use proper English if I could be bothered but I couldn't so it will not be nessecary to tell them about my poor English .

It will not be necessary to tell them as it will be patently obvious if they have ever read anything you have written.

Do you get someone else to write any birthday or Christmas cards you send? Who does your homework? Are you at a remedial school?

**The master** · 11-17-2004

I think I can manage to do my homework myself are you some sort of retard that you cant read it it may not have all the proper puncuation but its all easily readable.

**KiltedArab** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

I think I can manage to do my homework myself are you some sort of retard that you cant read it it may not have all the proper puncuation but its all easily readable.

No, it is painful to read. Aside from the punctuation, you cannot spell.

You are an illiterate little kid and should pay more attention at school.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

I think maybe we ought to quit using the word 'retard' around here. Out of respect for the parents who visit who have mentally challenged children. I have found the word 'rube' to do a fair job of replacing it.

**Bravo35223** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by KiltedArab

It will not be necessary to tell them as it will be patently obvious if they have ever read anything you have written.

Do you get someone else to write any birthday or Christmas cards you send? Who does your homework? Are you at a remedial school?

Glad to see you got your avatar working.

What the hell is it??

**KiltedArab** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by Bravo35223

Glad to see you got your avatar working.

What the hell is it??

It's a photo of 'Baters father...

thanks for the info, by the way!

**The master** · 11-17-2004

Kilted Arab why don't you come over on sunday and play with us so I can put you're pathetic golf game to shame I mite not care about spelling but I would beat you round a golf course left handed. How about I give you my phone to phone someone who cares abot my spelling because I certinely don't.

**Bravo35223** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by Montagle

I think maybe we ought to quit using the word 'retard' around here. Out of respect for the parents who visit who have mentally challenged children. I have found the word 'rube' to do a fair job of replacing it.

Your gentlemanly observance of this is sincerely appreciated.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

who cares abot my spelling because I certinely don't.

I certinely don't eather, The master.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

You see it's just asshol*s like KA who care about these things I could take the pi*s about his golf game but there's no need for it at the minute.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

I sure hope you are half as good as you think you are oh master. I've never encountered anyone so deeply in love with themselves. Come to America with your amazing game. I'll smack the penis right out of your mouth.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Don't mind Monty, The master. He doesn't play.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

I will come over to America and play all golf courses down the south and shoot better scires than I would here because it's like cheating the ball travels 20-30 yrds furtherit barely never rains it's never that windy and most of the courses are easy it's not what I like to call real golf come over to Scotland or Ireland and play proper golf montagle and I gurantee I would rip you out 10 & 8 you wouldn't be able to hack the conditions.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Yep, Buddha on the other hand DOES play. Maybe with 20 more strokes than most educated humans, but he does actually play. Well, at least he pays and goes out on the course.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

come over to Scotland or Ireland and play proper golf montagle and I gurantee I would rip you out 10 & 8 you wouldn't be able to hack the conditions.

LOL. This is the best of the day.

**onetime** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by Montagle

I sure hope you are half as good as you think you are oh master. I've never encountered anyone so deeply in love with themselves. Come to America with your amazing game. I'll smack the penis right out of your mouth.

Uh, that is where IG plans on putting his.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by Montagle

Yep, Buddha on the other hand DOES play. Maybe with 20 more strokes than most educated humans, but he does actually play. Well, at least he pays and goes out on the course.

Your words are hurtful and unsolicited. I'm going to cry.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Must be a much harder game there if some illiterate little turd is gonna take me 10 and 8.

I'll wait for you here in America. We can discuss the courses and the weather and playing conditions after you have had a few days to experience it.

You have it all wrong in your head though. Links golf is no more difficult than parkland golf.
Matter of fact I shot my best three scores of the summer on 'links' courses. And yes, they were all on the ocean. I find links golf to be a piece of cake and not any challenge at all. It's an awful lot easier to play the ball along the ground than to have to fly it specific distances over various hazards.

But believe what you want. You already have it all figured out in your head.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

The only reason you like playing links golf is because you can't get the ball up in the air so you have to run all you're shots up to the green and iam sure the rain wasn't beatn down on you're back or a touch of wind playing links courses in America doesn't count you have to play real links golf in Ireland not womens golf what you play.

**Bravo35223** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

The only reason you like playing links golf is because you can't get the ball up in the air so you have to run all you're shots up to the green

Now here is a question I would like to ask you.

How do you Know - he can't get the ball up in the air?

Do you think you are showing your ass - when you make statements like this?

You have never seen him play.

Think about this before you go into the world. You will get your ass handed to you in Ireland, South Africa, Botswanna or the US with this attitude.

Because you will always, always find someone better than you are.

**Irishgolfer** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by onetime

Uh, that is where IG plans on putting his.

LOL
Like shootin' fish in a barrel, eh Onetime?

**The master** · 11-17-2004

Im just haveing a laugh why does everyone take things so serious around here have you never heard of a joke. Still don't think he can get the ball up in the air.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

That's a good question, The master. Especially the ones that have complained about others taking things too seriously.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Well master, why don't you furnish me with what your definition of 'links' golf is? I know what links golf is and it makes no difference whether a course is in the US or anywhere else. A course is a links course regardless of it's continent as long as it meets the criteria of what a links is.

Now tell me what a links is, and then I'll correct you and tell you what an actual links is.

I can't get it airborne though. You're right about that.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

As I know a lot abot golf this is my defination about links golf.

Links courses are all about being at one with nature. The courses are fashioned out of the sandy windswept terrain with few man-made additions.

As a result the fairways and greens tend to be far more undulating there are far more blind shots around dunes and mounds, and lots of uphill and downhill lies.

There are far fewer trees and water obstacles, but the courses are far more open to the elements.

On the whole, they are built near the sea the word links comes from the fact that the courses were built on land that linked the mainland to the sea - hence the windier conditions.

The more it blows, the higher the scores. And links do tend to be tough.

While the hard ground - because of the underlying sand drying quickly - allows the ball to travel further from the tee, the ground off the fairway is far less forgiving.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Wow! It's all spelled perfectly also! Not a bit suspicious.

True links land is land that has been re-claimed from the sea. A true links at some point in history was underwater.

It's rainy and windy here too. I play in it. I sure wish you would come to America. I'd love to meet you. We'd have a blast.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by Montagle

Wow! It's all spelled perfectly also! Not a bit suspicious.
.

LOL. Point for Monty.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

It's not so much my speeling it's leaving out commas, inverted commas ect I wrote al that myself I know alot about links golf it would be cool to play a game with you where in America are you located.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

The word 'hence' is now a part of teh matsers vocabulary? No. No way.

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Not a f---ing chance in hell you wrote that yourself.

"Links courses are all about being one with nature." -- The master

**buddha33** · 11-17-2004

Originally Posted by The master

It's not so much my speeling

This is a gem, The master. Keep it up.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

Do you want to bet ask me any golf questions I know so much about golf I read alot of books and alot of golf on tv. Monty can take it that my defination about links golf was perfect.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Your definition of a links was cut and pasted from a pretty generic place.

A Links quite simply is a golf course on a piece of land anywhere on earth which was once under salt water. Simple as that.

Links style courses are all over the place, but a true links at one point had fish living on it.

Is links golf any harder than any other style of golf? No. When your body is working and you are hitting the ball well it does not matter at all where you play. Frankly on windless days links courses may be the easiest on the planet. This is easily evidenced by the last few Open Championships.

Hoping IG takes it to you with no sympathy at all. Somebody needs to teach you some humility.

**The master** · 11-17-2004

I sorry to dissapoint you but IG wont humilate me jnow one does I am going to beat him just like I did in all my fred daly matches this year played 8 won 8 my nick name is The matchplay kid.

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

The Only Fred Daly I have ever known of was a semi famous appalachian folk singer who was blind and missing one leg.

Would I be wrong to assume you had a perfect record in matches against blind and one legged opponents?

**The master** · 11-17-2004

Shows how much you know about golf Fred Daly is a british Open champion every year all golf clubs in Ireland enter there is a ulster, munster, leinster and connaught branches you must be under 18 a team consists of 7 people 1=lowest 7=highest and there is a draw to see what club you play all teams usually have good players and everyone I played would of ripped you out montagle.

**ZAP** · 11-17-2004

OK so just so I have it straight. You plan to......

1. travel 90 miles to become IG's ***** (btw bring some lube with you)
2. travel to US to become Monty's *****. (bring any leftover lube)

After you are finished if you are not too sore and if you have any dignity left please have Monty point you my way and I will make you my *****.

And by making you my ***** I am referring to beating you in a match and telling you about it the whole time.

What did you think I meant?

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

So a bunch of under 18 year old potato eaters would have ripped me in the honor of Fred Daly? I better stay stateside. It is painfully apparent to me I lack the skills to compete in a country as rich in talent as your own.

I mean, just look at all the fantastic players from Irealnd who are tearing up the world rankings!

**Montagle** · 11-17-2004

Zap,

You don't want any part of teh matser. His grammar and spelling will give you a headache and there is no way he can be beat at golf.

Don't waste your time.