How Do Family Guys Do It?

[NiftyNiblick]

Not unlike a serioues cocaine habit, golf costs thousands of dollars a year to play. I honestly don't understand how a typical family man with a mortgage and kids' tuitions to pay can support golf as a recreational or competitive activity.

Even if one is privileged enough to be able to handle both family and golf expenses, and few actually are if the demographic stats are accurate, what time does a man have for his family after his work and the highly time consuming game of golf?

Everybody who plays golf isn't just responsible for him or herself as I am, so I'm curious. How do some of you guys do it?

I know for certain that I'd have had to drop the game had I gone a more domestic route with my life. I wouldn't care for a grumpy wife seeing a four hundred dollar driver on the Visa bill, and then looking for it to shove up my rectum.

[24putts]

I think the answer is that pitching to your son or daughter is more fun than playing golf. Golf just comes on after your kids go to college.

[mongrel]

Some with serious coke habits end up dealing and actually make a profit whilst perforating their septa and totally f*cking up their circulatory systems. The best way to do a lot of golf with a family is to get a job as an assistant or head pro and get paid to play. Or a course superintendent.

[SoonerBS]

I live a mile away from an 18 hole municipal golf course that costs me $60 a month to play. I play while the kids are at school. It is not of country club quality, but it is not bad for a muni course. I guess I think I can afford it as I have been a member for 8 years.

[NiftyNiblick]

I live a mile away from an 18 hole municipal golf course that costs me $60 a month to play. I play while the kids are at school. It is not of country club quality, but it is not bad for a muni course. I guess I think I can afford it as I have been a member for 8 years.

Good info, Sooner--thanks.

I hope that there are a lot of opportunities like that across the country. There aren't many near here because land is very expensive where population is very dense.

[BrianMcG]

I have a 3yr. old daughter and it is tough. I don't play a lot of really nice courses anymore as I do not have the access to them that I once had.

I only play about once a month now. I have a driving net in my back yard and I have just as much fun hitting into that and watching my daughter hit wiffle balls as I do a round.

When she gets older I will start taking her to the course with me. Then that's considered daddy/daughter day. I don't think the wife would let us do that 5 days a week though. We'll see.

[Kiwi Player]

Golf is a lot more affordable down under. I am a member of a club with two 18 hole courses, one a championship calibre course the other a short knocking goat track more suited for older, shorter hitters and relative beginners. I pay about $1,000 annual sub which is nothing in the overall scheme of things. I guess it's more expensive in the city centres but still affordable for most low to mid income families.

[rooboy]

Costs me $1000 a year. My course is 3 minutes drive from my house, and when i play comp i tee off early whilst the wife and kids are still in bed. Usually get home at or just after lunch. My kids are 10 and 12 and have a putter each so when its daylight saving i go out with them late and let them putt from where i am on the green. Also take the opportunity to have a hit when they are off with friends.

[Pky6471]

it's tough when we have younger kids and less money,,, I would rather spend time with them on a tennis court or a soccer field anyway... Now my kids are grown up and I don't have to worry about money or job, but in the last 2 yrs I spend more time on the range, once a week with a large bucket, drink my coffee, smoke a cigar and relax

[12sandwich]

Several courses have Monday specials today. 2 of them would cost me several thousand each to be a member. $20 dollars to play a great course, and the use of the restaurant, bar, practice facility. My help knows the routine. Another course 5 minutes away I have traded some work, and tires on there tractors, and the owners vehicle for a membership. Then theres twilight specials for a quik round or 9 after work, which most have no problem with bringing a child. League cost 15 dollars for 9 at one of my favorite courses. Kids are in school during the week when I play mostly. The weekends are actually more difficult, as I enjoy time with the family, but I manage a Sunday round occasionally. I can't play the same course everytime, I would get bored, so I play a half a dozen courses, or more in the area.

[Not a hacker]

My goat track is close to home and 350 a year subs, which for metro Sydney is crazy cheap. My course isnt the best but its ok and a fun course to play as it sets up well for agressive play. It also only 3.5 hourz to play and I hit off early so Im home to tje wife and young kids by lunchtime. I could afford a better course but I honestly dont mi.d my course and cant justify the higher prices. Most championship courses here take close to 5 hours on a Saturday comp round and that really pisses me off.

[Horseballs]

I pay approximately $8K per year in automatic dues, capital expenditures, bonds, locker fees, competition fees, etc. Another several thousand goes towards food and drink, special competitions, guest fees, caddy/cart rentals, and pro shop purchases.
My whole family uses the club though. There are a bunch of kids' activities, plus there's the pool, swim team (when the kids get old enough), and various evening events that the wife enjoys. I'm not going to say that the club membership is equally enjoyed by my wife as it is by me, but she does enjoy it.
I play about 6 times per month, plus I play in about a dozen competitions. Not the best price/round, but a lot of the money we spend there would just be spent elsewhere for entertainment. For me, I cannot afford to play public golf. Since I'm a M-F 8 to 5 guy, I only play on the weekends and early. Those are 5.5 - 6 hour rounds that kill the entire day. At least at my club, I can play door to door in 4 hours.
When the kids get a bit older and get into sports, I may have to drop the membership, at which point I may have to give up golf for awhile. There are far too many divorced guys at my club.

[Lord Helmet]

I dont belong to any club....just walk on local courses. I usually take a weekday off to play, where I get paired up at the course. I do this 2-3 times per month during warm weather. My supervisor's husband is a huge golfer so my boss doesnt mind me taking off, since alot of those weekday rounds are playing golf with her husband.

My oldest participates in showchoir, middle one is a volleyballer, and youngest plays softball and soccer, so weekends are out for the most part. I will get a Sunday first light round in 2 or 3 times this summer, as I sub for some friends who have a regular 4-some each Sunday.

But most of my rounds will be mid-week during the day.

I play 3-5 rounds in one week when we travel to NC in June. My wife is pretty understanding. Really, what else do I do? I goto work, spend time with the family, and play golf. Pretty simple.

My youngest (age7) is also interested in the game so she and I hit the range every other weekend or so. She has taken a couple lessons already.

[12sandwich]

I pay approximately $8K. There are far too many divorced guys at my club.

I worked at a course 20 years ago, I couldn't find the super one day for a problem. I heard he may be in the men's card room, which I had never been in. Sure enough he was in there with some members, and a pile of money, as they were playing cards. I looked at a painting on the wall, it was a nude, she was stunning, Perfect tits, body, then I looked at her face it was the bartender.

[Fluffy]

Id get the kids interested in spending time with their daddy Giving them a possitive outcome nonetheless out of it.

[NiftyNiblick]

The Northeast isn't ideal for green fee golf, although there's no shortage of venues. We have plenty of good green fee courses, probably more than we have nice clubs.

The area has a very dense population.
Dense population means very expensive land prices.

A privately owned green fee course has to make a lot of money to justify not converting it to house lots, a shopping mall, or in better economic times, an industrial park.

Remember, there is no unincorporated "county" land in the Northeast. Every square inch of real estate is in a city or town, and it's expensive.

Munis are few and far between. The Northeastern states do not, thank Jesus, have so-called "right to work" laws, and they do have "prevailing wage" laws.

Municipal workers are not cheap labor, and if you use outside contractors for maintainence, the prevailing wage laws prevents them from being any cheaper than the represented municipal workers. Thus, and to me this is a good thing, you don't use outside contractors.

So you understand why not many munis. The front nine of my own club used to be a money-losing muni in ill-repair before our club bought and restored it.

Unlike many on site here, I care more about economic justice than golf, so these factors that keep munis away from this area don't bother me. But it does make green fees golf an expensive game. If you play often, it's as expensive as paying dues.

So fair wages notwithstanding, the west is a bigger bargain for green fees golf.

But I wouldn't fit in the west or south unless I lived in a major metropolitan area. In the suburbs, I'd be a loner and mistrusted oddity. In the rural areas, I'd almost certainly be a target.

[famousdavis]

Not unlike a serioues cocaine habit, golf costs thousands of dollars a year to play. I honestly don't understand how a typical family man with a mortgage and kids' tuitions to pay can support golf as a recreational or competitive activity.

Even if one is privileged enough to be able to handle both family and golf expenses, and few actually are if the demographic stats are accurate, what time does a man have for his family after his work and the highly time consuming game of golf?

Everybody who plays golf isn't just responsible for him or herself as I am, so I'm curious. How do some of you guys do it?

I know for certain that I'd have had to drop the game had I gone a more domestic route with my life. I wouldn't care for a grumpy wife seeing a four hundred dollar driver on the Visa bill, and then looking for it to shove up my rectum.

I think the simple answer to your question is quality over quantity. To be a good father and/or husband, it isn't necessary to be with your kids 100% of the time. However, when you are with them you should pay attention and do things together that bring you closer.

I have two younger kids and play just about every Sunday. If we have important events or special occassions I won't play. I also have every other Friday off so I can play on those days as well if there isn't something else going on.

When I play on Sunday, we usually tee off by 7:30am and I'm back by 1pm at the latest. My wife takes the kids to the gym and they play in the kids area.

I don't understand this new breed of men who's wives control them. Their kids are into every sport and activity imaginable and their whole lives revolve around it.

There's nothing wrong with having your own interests and taking time away from family to do something you enjoy. If I played both Sat and Sun that would be selfish and unreasonable. But for a guy that works all week long to have half a day to himself...that seems pretty reasonable.

As far as cost, I pay no more than $50 to play on Sunday and around $25 on Fridays. I've made money on buying and selling equipment.

[NiftyNiblick]

Interesting perspective, FD.

As a lifelong bachelor, I've never had to do that kind of balancing act, although apparently people like yourself have had success doing it.

The significant others that I've had over the years were all lady linksters themselves, just about. Now, I need a lady friend like I need a tumor. I'm happy as the quintessential grumpy old curmudgeon without the sagging breasted navigator to set my course for me that most men my age have.

My brother "Nifty's" domestic situation was not one that I dared observe from too closely.

[famousdavis]

Interesting perspective, FD.

As a lifelong bachelor, I've never had to do that kind of balancing act, although apparently people like yourself have had success doing it.

The significant others that I've had over the years were all lady linksters themselves, just about. Now, I need a lady friend like I need a tumor. I'm happy as the quintessential grumpy old curmudgeon without the sagging breasted navigator to set my course for me that most men my age have.

My brother "Nifty's" domestic situation was not one that I dared observe from too closely.

My grandmother died when my father was 18 (so I never met her) and my grandfather was a bachelor from the age of 52 until he died at 97. He was a dentist who played golf 3 times per week, went to every single college football game (where he attended) and watched his White Sox games whenever they were on. He had a girlfriend (who was a horrible woman to everyone but him) and he was smart enough to never marry her and keep her at a distance.

After golf he'd come home and take a nap and then watch sports. At night he'd go out to eat with one of his buddies and every morning he'd eat at the same place and flirt with the waitresses.

He led a great life.

[NiftyNiblick]

.....and watched his White Sox games whenever they were on.
.....
He led a great life.

It sounds like it. And he was a White Sox, not a Cubs fan, which makes him sound as if he had a touch of urban cool to him.

[Larryrsf]

Being really good at any sport means failure in other aspects of life. Really good golfers are almost universally losers at work and in their marriages. A certain signal of screwed up priorities. If I had a young engineer subordinate who was spending too much time golfing, he was warned, then he was gone.

Someone mentioned a dentist who played golf 3 times a week. I would be reluctant to be treated by such a DR because to be current, they need to study and attend conferences, etc. almost continuously in order to offer their patients the best treatment. My current dentist was a good golfer when he was young, but when I ask him about his game, he unfailingly says, "I don't have time!" Right answer! He charges big fees!

Larry

[CPS]

I don't understand this new breed of men who's wives control them. Their kids are into every sport and activity imaginable and their whole lives revolve around it.

There's nothing wrong with having your own interests and taking time away from family to do something you enjoy.

I don't understand either... who is underwriting this non-sensical state of family planning now?

I just read an article saying cohabitation before marriage was more likely to lead to divorce. I thought it was a bunch of conservative crap... and I know it is a bunch of crap since my wife and I lived together for 3 years before marriage and are about to hit our 10th anniversary. We also waited 9 years to have a kid, also getting a lot of conservative crap for that as well.

I'm sorry if all those trips around the world sharing interests and not micromanaging a baby effected our marriage so badly... I'm sorry we learned that you can have different interests and still spend time together without needing a "child project" to endure a failing marriage and please a dysfunctional extended family.

Funny... all the the conservative crap we heard both before and after our wedding were from people whose marriages lasted less than 2 years... every one.

I play whenever I feel like it... I even get a "you should go relax and play a round" sometimes.

PS- I want the Dentist that plays golf 3 times a week... I promise he is a better dentist than the one that has no "down time" and probably pops 3 different anti-psychotics just to stay sane.

[famousdavis]

Reading between the lines it sounds like someone is jealous of people who have made it in life and are also good at golf. It also sounds like someone who is hurting.

[famousdavis]

I don't understand either... who is underwriting this non-sensical state of family planning now?

I just read an article saying cohabitation before marriage was more likely to lead to divorce. I thought it was a bunch of conservative crap... and I know it is a bunch of crap since my wife and I lived together for 3 years before marriage and are about to hit our 10th anniversary. We also waited 9 years to have a kid, also getting a lot of conservative crap for that as well.

I'm sorry if all those trips around the world sharing interests and not micromanaging a baby effected our marriage so badly... I'm sorry we learned that you can have different interests and still spend time together without needing a "child project" to endure a failing marriage and please a dysfunctional extended family.

Funny... all the the conservative crap we heard both before and after our wedding were from people whose marriages lasted less than 2 years... every one.

I play whenever I feel like it... I even get a "you should go relax and play a round" sometimes.

PS- I want the Dentist that plays golf 3 times a week... I promise he is a better dentist than the one that has no "down time" and probably pops 3 different anti-psychotics just to stay sane.

Exactly. My grandfather was a dentist until he was 80 because he loved his practice. He was involved in all kinds of organizations and was president of them all. He sold his practice for a huge amount of money when he retired. He wasn't some guy who retired as soon as he could so he could spend all day beating balls at some public golf course.

The important thing in any marriage is to accept the person and realize they have things that are important to them and must be important to you. Everyone needs their time with their friends. My wife is going out with a bunch of friends tonight and I want her to do that and enjoy herself. We don't need to be around each other all the time.

I also agree about the "child project" thing that is now popular. You're supposed to have them involved and every sport and project imaginable. It's all about balance.

On another note, I can't imagine someone having so little class as to comment on someone's grandfather. What kind of social misfit with no class would do that?

[24putts]

which makes him sound as if he had a touch of urban cool to him.

See, this is why I posted "Nifty's Foursome." Like most liberals, you're invested in the concept of The Magic Negro.

[NiftyNiblick]

See, this is why I posted "Nifty's Foursome." Like most liberals, you're invested in the concept of The Magic Negro.

I suspect that we need an interpreter for converational discourse, putts, because I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about.

Dennis Hopper notwithstanding, I'm one of the whitiest Sicilians I've ever seen, and being born in the great City of Boston, I'm also consummately urban in my personal constitution.

I also suspect that I poke your racist tendencies when having absolutely no desire or intention to do so.

[famousdavis]

I suspect that we need an interpreter for converational discourse, putts, because I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about.

Dennis Hopper notwithstanding, I'm one of the whitiest Sicilians I've ever seen, and being born in the great City of Boston, I'm also consummately urban in my personal constitution.

I also suspect that I poke your racist tendencies when having absolutely no desire or intention to do so.

This would also go under the "Favorite Cult Movie" thread but I really enjoyed Dennis Hopper's acting in River's Edge. It was also Keanu Reeve's first movie before he went on to Oscar-worthy performances in Point Break and Bill & Ted's Outstanding Adventure.

[NiftyNiblick]

Cinema is indeed a wonderfiul art form that crosses all cultural divides.

I've viewed enough celluloid footage in my sixty-five years to extend to the stars, and very little of it would fall into the category of time wasted.

Be it Tolstoy's Anna Karenina or a classic Three Stooges short, I confess to enjoying the vast majority of it.

[Kiwi Player]

Exactly. My grandfather was a dentist until he was 80 because he loved his practice. He was involved in all kinds of organizations and was president of them all. He sold his practice for a huge amount of money when he retired. He wasn't some guy who retired as soon as he could so he could spend all day beating balls at some public golf course.

The important thing in any marriage is to accept the person and realize they have things that are important to them and must be important to you. Everyone needs their time with their friends. My wife is going out with a bunch of friends tonight and I want her to do that and enjoy herself. We don't need to be around each other all the time.

I also agree about the "child project" thing that is now popular. You're supposed to have them involved and every sport and project imaginable. It's all about balance.

On another note, I can't imagine someone having so little class as to comment on someone's grandfather. What kind of social misfit with no class would do that?

Agree with your perspective FD. My Dad played 2-3 times a week when I was a kid. I played sport but from a certain age I could ride my bike to the game or to the school where we'd take a bus. I didn't need him to drive me everywhere or be on the sideline for every game. However that seems to be the norm for many parents these days with no time to pursue their own interests at all. Just 100% chasing the kids around. My childhood wasn't so terrible but it seems parents these days feel the need to spend every non working waking hour with their kids.

[NiftyNiblick]

My childhood wasn't so terrible but it seems parents these days feel the need to spend every non working waking hour with their kids.

Nevertheless, I deserve props for recognizing early on that I was not breeding material.

Or as my own role models would say, "Throw a bag on it, kid."

[famousdavis]

Agree with your perspective FD. My Dad played 2-3 times a week when I was a kid. I played sport but from a certain age I could ride my bike to the game or to the school where we'd take a bus. I didn't need him to drive me everywhere or be on the sideline for every game. However that seems to be the norm for many parents these days with no time to pursue their own interests at all. Just 100% chasing the kids around. My childhood wasn't so terrible but it seems parents these days feel the need to spend every non working waking hour with their kids.

My grandfather played 2-3 times a week but that's after my dad was already in college. My own dad probably played an average of once per week or maybe 1.5 times per week. I currently play about 5 or 6 rounds per month.

I agree and I don't understand the need for both parents to attend every single sporting event, open house, etc. Now there is this big push to get your kid into soccer or baseball all year round so that they can have a chance to get a college scholarship. We're talking about 7 year old girls.

[Not a hacker]

My grandfather played 2-3 times a week but that's after my dad was already in college. My own dad probably played an average of once per week or maybe 1.5 times per week. I currently play about 5 or 6 rounds per month.

I agree and I don't understand the need for both parents to attend every single sporting event, open house, etc. Now there is this big push to get your kid into soccer or baseball all year round so that they can have a chance to get a college scholarship. We're talking about 7 year old girls.

Im down to one ckmp round per week. Ive replaced my one mid week round per fortnight with playing a social round at my home club. I dont have time to spare a 5 hour round mid week any more, I can play on my own and hit 2 balls and stop to practice around the course and still finish in 3 hours. Much cheaper and I'll improve my game too.

[jmtbkr]

Golf just comes on after your kids go to college.

And get a job.
And move out of the house.
And pay their own car insurance.
And pay their own credit card bills.



Then you have expendable income for golf.

[SoonerBS]

I don't understand either... who is underwriting this non-sensical state of family planning now?

I just read an article saying cohabitation before marriage was more likely to lead to divorce. I thought it was a bunch of conservative crap... and I know it is a bunch of crap since my wife and I lived together for 3 years before marriage and are about to hit our 10th anniversary. We also waited 9 years to have a kid, also getting a lot of conservative crap for that as well.

I'm sorry if all those trips around the world sharing interests and not micromanaging a baby effected our marriage so badly... I'm sorry we learned that you can have different interests and still spend time together without needing a "child project" to endure a failing marriage and please a dysfunctional extended family.

Funny... all the the conservative crap we heard both before and after our wedding were from people whose marriages lasted less than 2 years... every one.

I play whenever I feel like it... I even get a "you should go relax and play a round" sometimes.

PS- I want the Dentist that plays golf 3 times a week... I promise he is a better dentist than the one that has no "down time" and probably pops 3 different anti-psychotics just to stay sane.

Everyone feels like they are experts on social science and they write the biggest bunch of crap solely related to the "latest studies."

My wife and I did not cohabitate before marriage. In fact, we only dated for 6 months prior to becoming married. We did not have our first child until 13 years of being married BY CHOICE. And, we have been married for 26 years.

I have found that it all comes down to this -- you either have the personality to be committed to others, or you are only committed to yourself. The person who can make a true commitment to another should get married. The person who is more concerned about themselves, should not. I can usually tell within 15 minutes of visiting with someone which type they are.

[lorenzoinoc]

Everyone feels like they are experts on social science and they write the biggest bunch of crap solely related to the "latest studies."

My wife and I did not cohabitate before marriage. In fact, we only dated for 6 months prior to becoming married. We did not have our first child until 13 years of being married BY CHOICE. And, we have been married for 26 years.

I have found that it all comes down to this -- you either have the personality to be committed to others, or you are only committed to yourself. The person who can make a true commitment to another should get married. The person who is more concerned about themselves, should not. I can usually tell within 15 minutes of visiting with someone which type they are.

Yes it's true, I'm a nurturer.

Nifty, I couldn't make both golf and marriage work, it was simply one or the other. I really don't miss her at all.

The freight at my club was $1,000+ per month. Not difficult to justify with my son there alot but since they agreed to let him in without membership I converted to being a social member.

FD, your grandaddy was a righteous dude.

[SDB1]

I have friends that completely ignore their family to golf. I went the opposite route. I taught both my kids and play once or twice a week with them. Without all the discount youth programs I would be broke for sure!

[Not a hacker]

I have friends that completely ignore their family to golf. I went the opposite route. I taught both my kids and play once or twice a week with them. Without all the discount youth programs I would be broke for sure!

There is nothing qronv with taking the kids to golc with you when they are older. Its the wife you are trying to get away from.

[Pky6471]

PS- I want the Dentist that plays golf 3 times a week... I promise he is a better dentist than the one that has no "down time" and probably pops 3 different anti-psychotics just to stay sane.

brain without enjoyments will - IMO - lack social skills... I've seen too many of those guys in my office... One guy is super smart, I mean super smart in Chemical Engineering and CFD, but he can't seem to find friends, or no one wanted to be his friends, so he's happy when I come and talk to him

[famousdavis]

brain without enjoyments will - IMO - lack social skills... I've seen too many of those guys in my office... One guy is super smart, I mean super smart in Chemical Engineering and CFD, but he can't seem to find friends, or no one wanted to be his friends, so he's happy when I come and talk to him

I let my kids go play with the animal head covers while I peruse the used golf equipment. I also let them putt on the putting green while I sink several 20 footers in a row. I've taken my oldest to the range with me a few times and it's fun to see her hit the ball. She's a bit shy around my autograph seekers and the crowd that usually forms to watch me hit driver. Other than the annoying lackeys it's a good time all around.

[Not a hacker]

I let my kids go play with the animal head covers while I peruse the used golf equipment. I also let them putt on the putting green while I sink several 20 footers in a row. I've taken my oldest to the range with me a few times and it's fun to see her hit the ball. She's a bit shy around my autograph seekers and the crowd that usually forms to watch me hit driver. Other than the annoying lackeys it's a good time all around.

Your driving range fantasies dont sound as convincing as FON's. You need to work on your delivery or vet some nee material. FON has the driver BS corbered with the ball splitting and being asked to move to the end of the range to stop distracting people. lmfao.

[jmtbkr]

I let my kids go play with the animal head covers while I peruse the used golf equipment. I also let them putt on the putting green while I sink several 20 footers in a row. .

And when you're in Costco, do you let them go play with the frozen lasagne while you peruse the tires?

[famousdavis]

Your driving range fantasies dont sound as convincing as FON's. You need to work on your delivery or vet some nee material. FON has the driver BS corbered with the ball splitting and being asked to move to the end of the range to stop distracting people. lmfao.

Well, a few times I've been told by the range owner that I would have to pay for two stalls because of the crowds. I tell the owners that these people are not my cronies and as far as I'm concerned they are parasites. I've never liked the attention. I didn't ask for this. I am not a role model.