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Thread: Today

  1. #1
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    Today

    I hereby dub today, March 7, 2011, as FIGHT DAY.

    Pick a category and we'll fight.

    You dumb muthafukkahs.


    GO!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    I hereby dub today, March 7, 2011, as FIGHT DAY.

    Pick a category and we'll fight.

    You dumb muthafukkahs.


    GO!!

    Your an idiot. Everyone knows that fight day isn't until March 8th. What a complete moron.

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    Rosie O'Donnell and Hillary Clinton should start a new TV reality show called "Sniff the Snatch." Each week one of them would become the standard of comparison for the famous panel and women that stand in line for hours to try out and make the show.

    RO and HC could spice things up by having sex before the show, assuming someone's willing, or maybe just dine on something stanky. The ultimate winner will have had the sweetest smelling snatch over a period of weeks as determined by the judges.

    The initial panel would consist of Keith Richards, Tom Cruise and President Obama. If one of them's busy, maybe Dick Cheney could stand in.

    Now there's no way you could argue with any of this so I'd like to see you try.
    GR lives...

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Rosie O'Donnell and Hillary Clinton should start a new TV reality show called "Sniff the Snatch." Each week one of them would become the standard of comparison for the famous panel and women that stand in line for hours to try out and make the show.

    RO and HC could spice things up by having sex before the show, assuming someone's willing, or maybe just dine on something stanky. The ultimate winner will have had the sweetest smelling snatch over a period of weeks as determined by the judges.

    The initial panel would consist of Keith Richards, Tom Cruise and President Obama. If one of them's busy, maybe Dick Cheney could stand in.

    Now there's no way you could argue with any of this so I'd like to see you try.
    Tom Cruise is 5 foot 8

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Tom Cruise is 5 foot 8
    When he's standing on a chair.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    When he's standing on a chair.
    Which he did on Oprah

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Which he did on Oprah
    He did what to Oprah?
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Which he did on Oprah
    No! No!....He was just demonstrating how he had to take a dump while in Dubai.....
    ... a tree branch, or my foot.

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    Only arguement I might have have would be Hillary, How about these two.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    I hereby dub today, March 7, 2011, as FIGHT DAY.

    Pick a category and we'll fight.

    You dumb muthafukkahs.


    GO!!
    This is why people don't like you. One of the reasons.
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    I hereby dub today, March 7, 2011, as FIGHT DAY.

    Pick a category and we'll fight.

    You dumb muthafukkahs.


    GO!!
    OK. Today is my birthday. Since I still have to work in order to keep a roof overhead and procure food, I celebrated today by buying a new (used) set of irons on Thursday night, a new set of shafts for the new (used) irons on Saturday, and a new (used) driver yesterday that is the best feeling driver I've ever hit even though it was raining hard and I just hit it into the net at Golf Galaxy. Forgot to mention I also bought two dozen Slazenger Raw balls in bright yellow last Wednesday so I can drive par 4's like the dudes in the TV commercial. Oh and I also bought a nifty looking and feeling 9 mm clone pellet pistol on Saturday that will be much easier to carry in the yard when I am battling unwanted critters. I'm 64 and one of those Brit girl-haired wankers who wrote the song "When
    I'm 64" didn't even live to 50. F*ckem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Horseballs
    This is why people don't like you. One of the reasons.
    So you're saying there's a chance......

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Rosie O'Donnell and Hillary Clinton should start a new TV reality show called "Sniff the Snatch." Each week one of them would become the standard of comparison for the famous panel and women that stand in line for hours to try out and make the show.

    RO and HC could spice things up by having sex before the show, assuming someone's willing, or maybe just dine on something stanky. The ultimate winner will have had the sweetest smelling snatch over a period of weeks as determined by the judges.

    The initial panel would consist of Keith Richards, Tom Cruise and President Obama. If one of them's busy, maybe Dick Cheney could stand in.

    Now there's no way you could argue with any of this so I'd like to see you try.
    Now THIS made me laugh.
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jt1135
    Only arguement I might have have would be Hillary, How about these two.
    I'd do Sandra Bernhard. I'd have to double bag her, but her body is actually pretty nice.
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    So you're saying there's a chance......
    That's not putting up much of a fight.......pu$$y..
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    I'd do Sandra Bernhard. I'd have to double bag her, but her body is actually pretty nice.
    Same with Kathy Griffen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Same with Kathy Griffen.
    I don't think I would even need a bag for Kathy Griffin, but Sandra Bernhard is just butt-ugly.
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

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    Do we, Nayyytoooe, effin' bomb Libya or not? I say drop 'em and send in Delta operators to "arrest" his heart with lead that greedy nutcase and his girlie bodyguards.
    golf's a relaxing betting game.

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    Hell Sooner, I'll run the camera while you swap spit with sandra.
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  20. #20
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    She's probably had more puussy than most everyone here, ceptin me of course.
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    Quote Originally Posted by famousdavis
    Same with Kathy Griffen.
    F@g...........

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    Quote Originally Posted by Home-slicer
    That's not putting up much of a fight.......pu$$y..
    I declared fight day so YOU fight for MY amusement now DANCE MONKEY DANCE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jt1135
    Hell Sooner, I'll run the camera while you swap spit with sandra.
    I have a great thread topic: "What Celebrity Would You Bag and What Celebrity Would You NOT Bag?"

    The only thing is, I would want it discussed in this forum, but it is hard to make it golf related.
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    In a sense we are talking about swinging, shaft flex, the lie of the ball, just have to think of a few new courses to play on.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    I have a great thread topic: "What Celebrity Would You Bag and What Celebrity Would You NOT Bag?"

    The only thing is, I would want it discussed in this forum, but it is hard to make it golf related.
    Golf related:

    would bang Natalie Gulbis or Paula Creamer.

    would DEFINITELY NOT bang: Laura Davies or Julie Inkster.

  26. #26
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    Good choices, I'd probably head to one of the Korean chicks or should I say get head from one of the Korean chicks. Still have a hankering for the sideways stuff.
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  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    I declared fight day so YOU fight for MY amusement now DANCE MONKEY DANCE.
    Oh, I get it now. Terribly sorry. I'll try to get it right next time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    OK. Today is my birthday. Since I still have to work in order to keep a roof overhead and procure food, I celebrated today by buying a new (used) set of irons on Thursday night, a new set of shafts for the new (used) irons on Saturday, and a new (used) driver yesterday that is the best feeling driver I've ever hit even though it was raining hard and I just hit it into the net at Golf Galaxy. Forgot to mention I also bought two dozen Slazenger Raw balls in bright yellow last Wednesday so I can drive par 4's like the dudes in the TV commercial. Oh and I also bought a nifty looking and feeling 9 mm clone pellet pistol on Saturday that will be much easier to carry in the yard when I am battling unwanted critters. I'm 64 and one of those Brit girl-haired wankers who wrote the song "When
    I'm 64" didn't even live to 50. F*ckem.
    Lucky you weren't born on the 8th big fella. we just had morning tea for international Women's day.
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    Happy B-day, M. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No? Good.

    What's performance like at 64? Have you noticed any decline? If so, does a Cialis type drug take care of it? Can you still go at it 7-9 times a night?

    I really want some insight here. Maybe ask your similarly aged friends too. I'm guessing the key when with women in their 60-s is to vividly fantasize.
    GR lives...

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Happy B-day, M. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No? Good.

    What's performance like at 64? Have you noticed any decline? If so, does a Cialis type drug take care of it? Can you still go at it 7-9 times a night?

    I really want some insight here. Maybe ask your similarly aged friends too. I'm guessing the key when with women in their 60-s is to vividly fantasize.
    I think Mongrel will be more interested in the performance of his new driver. I'd imagine by the time I get to 64 the only sex me and the missjus will be having is hallway sex, when you walk past each other in the hallway and say "Fuk you!" I can guarantee that if I was still doing it, in my mind with my eyes closed it wouldn't be with her as a 64 year old.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Happy B-day, M. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No? Good.

    What's performance like at 64? Have you noticed any decline? If so, does a Cialis type drug take care of it? Can you still go at it 7-9 times a night?

    I really want some insight here. Maybe ask your similarly aged friends too. I'm guessing the key when with women in their 60-s is to vividly fantasize.
    I've often wondered how guys in their 60s and 70s get it up for old women. If you are with your wife you met when she was young and beautiful, and who you have been doing it with for years it it probably would be ok because you would remember her when she was young, and you'd be in a routine and all. But if I ever became single past about 65 I think I would either go the knock shop or go celibate. I couldn't imagine getting aroused meeting a really old woman for the first time. I find the same types of woman atttractive now as i always have, I can't see that getting old is going to amke old woman attractive.
    The views expressed by Not a Hacker are not meant to be understood by you primitive screw heads. Don't take it personally, just sit back and enjoy the writings of your better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I think Mongrel will be more interested in the performance of his new driver. I'd imagine by the time I get to 64 the only sex me and the missjus will be having is hallway sex, when you walk past each other in the hallway and say "Fuk you!" I can guarantee that if I was still doing it, in my mind with my eyes closed it wouldn't be with her as a 64 year old.
    Life would seem so boring without it. I have a kitchen island and a pool table. Wouldn't need those any more. Seriously, I rarely play pool with the guys even though they want to when they come over. But a woman who's wearing something low cut and can grab onto the rails real good -- set 'em up. Of course at this point I'm down to one candidate along those lines but barely any complaints.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I've often wondered how guys in their 60s and 70s get it up for old women. If you are with your wife you met when she was young and beautiful, and who you have been doing it with for years it it probably would be ok because you would remember her when she was young, and you'd be in a routine and all. But if I ever became single past about 65 I think I would either go the knock shop or go celibate. I couldn't imagine getting aroused meeting a really old woman for the first time. I find the same types of woman atttractive now as i always have, I can't see that getting old is going to amke old woman attractive.
    As someone who finds beautiful skin one of the bigger turn-ons, I might find it hard to get into it myself. Now I'm kind of stressing over this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I've often wondered how guys in their 60s and 70s get it up for old women. If you are with your wife you met when she was young and beautiful, and who you have been doing it with for years it it probably would be ok because you would remember her when she was young, and you'd be in a routine and all. But if I ever became single past about 65 I think I would either go the knock shop or go celibate. I couldn't imagine getting aroused meeting a really old woman for the first time. I find the same types of woman atttractive now as i always have, I can't see that getting old is going to amke old woman attractive.
    Whenever I was in my 20s, I use to think, "I don't know if I could do a woman my mom's age." She was in her 40s. Now, I'm in my 40s as well as my wife and I have no trouble getting it up and getting it on. I think something happens to the psyche as we get older to allow us to look at older women in a more intimate way.

    I've talked to a lot of old farts though and most of them would rather talk about sex than to actually have it. In fact, I was playfully bragging to one of my golfing buddies who is exactly 70 years old today on the course, "Whenever I get home in a little bit, my wife had better have a hot meal on the table and be laying naked in the middle of the floor in the prone position." He answers back, "I just hope my wife has a hot meal ready for me."
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    As someone who finds beautiful skin one of the bigger turn-ons, I might find it hard to get into it myself. Now I'm kind of stressing over this.
    I like good skin too. I once had an ex catch me looking disappovingly at her stretch marks mid fuk. It sort of went down hill from there.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    I like good skin too. I once had an ex catch me looking disappovingly at her stretch marks mid fuk. It sort of went down hill from there.
    I once stupidly joked about a gf's ass. You have to understand, she had one of the most perfect female asses on the entire planet on a awesomely proportioned 5'2" frame. Her standing there butt naked putting on her makeup was a collossal turn-on, particularly since she'd have just gotten out of the shower, her hair would have been done and she really wanted to avoid the JBF look. So the off-limits thing made it more challenging and intense. I later figured out her doing that was at times nothing more than a sex game.

    Anyways, towards the end of the relationship we're lying there spooned, I grab it, shake it and say something utterly stupid. It was never the same after that so I learned an important lesson I shouldn't had to have learned in the first place. Really, the things we've taken for granted can be haunting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    OK. Today is my birthday. Since I still have to work in order to keep a roof overhead and procure food, I celebrated today by buying a new (used) set of irons on Thursday night, a new set of shafts for the new (used) irons on Saturday, and a new (used) driver yesterday that is the best feeling driver I've ever hit even though it was raining hard and I just hit it into the net at Golf Galaxy. Forgot to mention I also bought two dozen Slazenger Raw balls in bright yellow last Wednesday so I can drive par 4's like the dudes in the TV commercial. Oh and I also bought a nifty looking and feeling 9 mm clone pellet pistol on Saturday that will be much easier to carry in the yard when I am battling unwanted critters. I'm 64 and one of those Brit girl-haired wankers who wrote the song "When
    I'm 64" didn't even live to 50. F*ckem.
    OK, I like this. Happy B-Day mongrel!

    SEE??? I happen to be a NICE GUY who actually takes the time and posts a little "Happy Birthday" message when someone says it's their birthday. Unlike all you fukkers who READ my "Even Par On The Front 9" thread in the non-golf section and never offered even a LITTLE sympathy...



    See? SOUR FACE. As I promised.



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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    Whenever I was in my 20s, I use to think, "I don't know if I could do a woman my mom's age." She was in her 40s. Now, I'm in my 40s as well as my wife and I have no trouble getting it up and getting it on. I think something happens to the psyche as we get older to allow us to look at older women in a more intimate way.

    I've talked to a lot of old farts though and most of them would rather talk about sex than to actually have it. In fact, I was playfully bragging to one of my golfing buddies who is exactly 70 years old today on the course, "Whenever I get home in a little bit, my wife had better have a hot meal on the table and be laying naked in the middle of the floor in the prone position." He answers back, "I just hope my wife has a hot meal ready for me."

    I think there's some truth to what you say about finding older women attractive as we get older ourselves. The young ones aren't any less attractive, but the older ones seem to become more palatable as we age. Maybe it's because we remember what they were like when they (and we) were younger. Glory days and all...



    FON
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreakOfNature
    I think there's some truth to what you say about finding older women attractive as we get older ourselves. The young ones aren't any less attractive, but the older ones seem to become more palatable as we age. Maybe it's because we remember what they were like when they (and we) were younger. Glory days and all...



    FON
    No, it's because generally the older they get, the freakier they'll become and the nastier you can get with them. By the time many of them are in their late 30-s, you can pretty much tether them to a merry go round and f.uck 'em as they go by.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    No, it's because generally the older they get, the freakier they'll become and the nastier you can get with them. By the time many of them are in their late 30-s, you can pretty much tether them to a merry go round and f.uck 'em as they go by.

    I generally bow to your wisdom on these matters Zo, but tethering them to a merry-go-round and getting one "stuffin' in the muffin" on every pass seems rather inefficient and quite frankly - boring. Even for women in their late 30's.

    Turning the lights off seems like a much better option, if necessary. ;)

    A couple paper bags might work in a pinch. Or a sock...



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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    No, it's because generally the older they get, the freakier they'll become and the nastier you can get with them. By the time many of them are in their late 30-s, you can pretty much tether them to a merry go round and f.uck 'em as they go by.
    As a wise old friend reminded me, it's not the year but the mileage that matters most. Not too new, but not too used and loose. You can have an old sports model that has taken care of and put away with care and they're fun to drive. But sometimes you get a newer model that's been rode hard and put away wet. Not much fun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by poe4soul
    As a wise old friend reminded me, it's not the year but the mileage that matters most. Not too new, but not too used and loose. You can have an old sports model that has taken care of and put away with care and they're fun to drive. But sometimes you get a newer model that's been rode hard and put away wet. Not much fun.
    Here in the land of the cougar there are plenty of examples. Seriously, this place is MILF city.
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    HB Mongrel. As far as the older women, kind of waiting till I qualify for the old people,s home and start chasing all tang that's around there. Granted, won't be able to run as fast but then again neither can they.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreakOfNature
    OK, I like this. Happy B-Day mongrel!

    SEE??? I happen to be a NICE GUY who actually takes the time and posts a little "Happy Birthday" message when someone says it's their birthday. Unlike all you fukkers who READ my "Even Par On The Front 9" thread in the non-golf section and never offered even a LITTLE sympathy...



    See? SOUR FACE. As I promised.



    FON
    Thank you, FON.

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not a hacker
    Lucky you weren't born on the 8th big fella. we just had morning tea for international Women's day.
    I missed the 8th by 25 minutes according to me Mum and the public records. And I have celebrated International Women's Day frequently in my younger years in various European countries and Tokyo, Sasebo, Yukusuka, Hong Kong, Singapore, Kaoisiung, Keelung, Taipei, Vung Tau, Da Nang, Olongapo, Tiajuana, San Felipe and probably others. Alas, the main reduction gears decided to go tits-up 50 miles north of the Equator so that Oz is not on the list, much to my dismay.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Happy B-day, M. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No? Good.

    What's performance like at 64? Have you noticed any decline? If so, does a Cialis type drug take care of it? Can you still go at it 7-9 times a night?

    I really want some insight here. Maybe ask your similarly aged friends too. I'm guessing the key when with women in their 60-s is to vividly fantasize.
    Its different than when I was younger. When you get my age, you've got to pick your spots. Sort of like when I was in my 30's and 40's, I'd go for every par 5 green in two. Now I am satisfied with laying up to a decent short iron distance and try to get it close enough for a reasonable roll for a bird. A Cialis type drug will DEFINITELY TAKE CARE OF IT. However, the reactions that may be suffered have to be seriously weighed against the proverbial 4 hour erection. I love those commercials "If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, see a doctor..." Well F&CK THAT. If I were to experience one of those, secure the women and girls and the farm animals. Oh about the 60 year old woman, I wouldn't know because I got one 20 years younger and the odds of me and her getting it on when (and if) I'm around in another 20 years are about as good as me qualifying for the U.S. Open at Congressional which is only about 45 miles down the road from me.

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    Its different than when I was younger. When you get my age, you've got to pick your spots. Sort of like when I was in my 30's and 40's, I'd go for every par 5 green in two. Now I am satisfied with laying up to a decent short iron distance and try to get it close enough for a reasonable roll for a bird. A Cialis type drug will DEFINITELY TAKE CARE OF IT. However, the reactions that may be suffered have to be seriously weighed against the proverbial 4 hour erection. I love those commercials "If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, see a doctor..." Well F&CK THAT. If I were to experience one of those, secure the women and girls and the farm animals. Oh about the 60 year old woman, I wouldn't know because I got one 20 years younger and the odds of me and her getting it on when (and if) I'm around in another 20 years are about as good as me qualifying for the U.S. Open at Congressional which is only about 45 miles down the road from me.
    Any particular kinds of farm animals?
    GR lives...

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorenzoinoc
    Any particular kinds of farm animals?
    When the West Virginian lad finally reached the age of majority, he realized that Sonny & Cher's hit was not "I got ewe, babe".

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by jt1135
    HB Mongrel. As far as the older women, kind of waiting till I qualify for the old people,s home and start chasing all tang that's around there. Granted, won't be able to run as fast but then again neither can they.
    By then a high speed mobility scooter will be essential!
    I chose the road less traveled.

    Now where the f#ck am I?

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yaz1975
    I hereby dub today, March 7, 2011, as FIGHT DAY.

    Pick a category and we'll fight.

    You dumb muthafukkahs.


    GO!!
    There can be no doubt now! You are a d!ck........

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi Player
    By then a high speed mobility scooter will be essential!
    Make mine with the optional reclining seat the the low-rider-like hydraulics that make it go up and down, in and out, and the vibrator module.

  52. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongrel
    Make mine with the optional reclining seat the the low-rider-like hydraulics that make it go up and down, in and out, and the vibrator module.
    My wife just read this post and said she would prefer the "vibrator module" as well. Thanks a lot, Mongrel. Just because you do not feel the need to get any at your older age doesn't mean you should be posting ideas to limit the rest of us.
    Mizuno irons -- made by Hattori Hanzo, forged in the fires of Mt. Fujiyama.

  53. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoonerBS
    My wife just read this post and said she would prefer the "vibrator module" as well. Thanks a lot, Mongrel. Just because you do not feel the need to get any at your older age doesn't mean you should be posting ideas to limit the rest of us.
    Sorry to give the wrong impression. Its just that the older I get, the lazier I get and would enjoy reclining in comfort and letting the machine do some of the work. Come to think of it, the scooter should also be equipped with an automatic lubricant injection system and a fluid containment device in case its happening on a carpeted area.

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